Wish I could be a rapper or some shit.
I really do.
You know why I can't be a rapper, though, man?
Because my voice ain't deep enough.
To be a rapper, you need a deep voice.
That's the only way people gonna want to listen to you
on a regular basis.
I don't think nobody would buy my album
because my voice is too small.
Yeah, bitch, I'm a killer.
I shoot you in your face.
Everybody gonna die.
Every...
body gonna die tonight.
did he just say...
I'm not buyin' that shit if he said...
ain't no way.
Certain shit just keeps you from being tough.
You wanna know what's really keeping me from being tough?
Look at this.
This is really holding me back.
Look at this shit here. Look at this.
Look at this shit. Look at this shit.
This is really fucking me up, man.
Ain't nothin' tough about this.
It don't matter what you say,
Ain't nobody gonna take you serious if you swing your feet.
It don't matter.
I will kill everybody in this bitch tonight!
I ain't fucking playing with y'all.
Y'all think this is a game?
No, I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of the way people treat me around here.
Would you talk to a guy who swung his feet?
If you at a club and I tried to talk to you?
"Come here, baby, let me holler at you for a second.
"You, girl, you know damn well who I'm talking to.
"Wait a second.
"Let me climb down and get my feet together.
Wait a minute now."
Rappers make me laugh, though.
I swear rappers are funny, man.
You ever see rappers freestyle?
Like when they be battling each other?
You ever notice the more angry a rapper gets,
the higher his hands get?
You ever notice that?
They start off so calm.
This is rappers when they freestyle.
Like, the dude--this is the dude when he's listening
to the other guy.
"You ready?"
"No, I got him. I got him, B."
Wait, this is really how they be, look.
"Real talk."
I need a straight look though.
Hey.
This is how--
This is how the rapper--
I'm really trying to be a rapper right now.
Like, this--
This is the real angry rapper.
"Real talk.
I kill niggas.
I slay niggas that don't love it.
Nigga, you wanna beat me to get it,
I get it back!"
Oh shit!
The other dude, he's so confused.
"Oh, shit, this nigga's crazy!"
He be trying to follow his hands.
"This nigga's crazy. He's about to kill me.
He's gonna cap me or something."
I can't be that guy, man.
I want to be.
There's so much stuff that I wanted to do
that I'm realizing now that I can't do.
Like, I wanted to be a singer.
I wanted to be an R&B singer for a long time.
But I can't sing, but I can dance my ass off.
If anybody here is trying to be a singer,
I'm about to tell you what you need to know to make it.
All right?
This is more classified stuff.
All you need to know how to do is open your hands,
close them, and point.
That's it.
I know it sounds crazy.
You're like, "what?"
But I'm telling y'all, it look good.
Watch this.
I'm not gonna sing nothing.
But tell me this don't look like I'm about to say some stuff.
Look at this.
"Oh, shit!
"He gonna sing something!
When he gonna sing, girl?"
That or the slide out.
You know what the slide out is?
You ever see an old group,
when an old group be in the thing?
Like The Temptations or somebody,
you never know who the lead singer is,
so they slide out.
They be like this.
They slide out and start singing on you.
That's the best shit ever.
'Cause they be talking shit.
"These bitches don't even know what's about to hit them.
I'm about to slide out on her.
Ooh."
"He's good. This guy is good, he's good."