WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW."
FOLKS, MY NEXT GUEST IS EMMY-NOMINATED FOR HER WORK ON
"SNL" THIS SEASON WHERE SHE PLAYED EVERYONE FROM MILEY CYRUS
TO JACOB THE BAR MITZVAH BOY, PLEASE WELCOME VANESSA BAYER!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
NICE TO MEET YOU!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> HOW ARE YOU?
>> Stephen: SO NICE TO SEE YOU!
>> OH, MY GOSH, IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO.
>> Stephen: WE'LL EXPLAIN WHY THIS IS THE SECOND TIME WE MET.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: FIRST TIME IS 13 YEARS AGO.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: MORE ON THAT IN A MOMENT.
FIRST OF ALL, CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR EMMY NOMINATION.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) RIFF SO NICE.
I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME THAT HAPPENED.
WHEREWHERE WERE YOU WHEN YOU FOU OUT?
>> I WAS LEAVING MY PILATES CLASS AND MY PHONE STARTED
BLOWING UP AND I WAS GETTING TEXTS THAT WERE FROM EDIE
BRYANT.
I GUESS HER EIGHT SAW I WAS NOMINATED AND KNEW SHE WOULD BE
EXCITED AND TEXTED HER AND THEN SHE TEXTED ME.
AND I SAID, OH, WAS I NOMINATED FOR AN EMMY?
AND MY PILATES TEACHER WAS IN THE BATHROOM AND I WAITED FOR
HER TO COME OUT TO TELL HER I THOUGHT MAYBE I WAS NOMINATED.
WE TRIED TO LOOK IT UP ON MY PHONE.
IT SEEMS SIMPLE TO GOOGLE VANESSA BAYER.
BUT WE WERE, LIKE, WHY DO YOU USE A PHONE?
WE COULDN'T FIGURE IT OUT.
>> Stephen: YOU WERE TOO EXCITED.
>> WE WERE SO EXCITED, YEAH.
>> Stephen: GREAT.
I'M HOSTING THE SHOW.
>> YEAH, THAT'S SO GREAT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: NOW, LET'S EXPLAIN
TO THE PEOPLE HOW WE KNOW EACH OTHER.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: IF YOU WILL FORGIVE ME, I HAD TO BE REMINDED
THAT WE HAD MET EACH OTHER BEFORE.
>> IT'S REALLY FINE.
>> Stephen: TELL THE PEOPLE WHAT HAPPENED.
>> HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED.
SO I WAS A SENIOR IN COLLEGE, AND THERE WAS THIS COMEDY
FESTIVAL THAT THE MALE COMEDY TROOP -- WE CALL THEM TROOPS,
THAT'S VERY DORKY -- BUT THE MALE COMEDY TROOP PUT ON.
STEPHEN HOSTED THE EVENT.
I WAS IN WITH THE COMEDY CROWD AT THE UNIVERSITY OF
PENNSYLVANIA.
>> Stephen: 2004.
2004, RIGHT.
>> Stephen: I WAS STILL AT "THE DAILY SHOW."
>> RIGHT.
AND I MET YOU AND TOLD YOU I WAS ABOUT TO MOVE TO CHICAGO TO
PURSUE COLDY, AND YOU WERE SO NICE TO ME, AND THIS IS WHAT I
TRULY CANNOT BELIEVE IS YOU TOLD ME TO TAKE CLASSES FROM THIS GUY
NICK NAPIER WHICH WAS SO NICE AND YOU WERE, LIKE, IF YOU
FORGET ANY OF THIS OR NEED ANY MORE INFORMATION, HERE'S MY
EMAIL, AND YOU GAVE ME YOUR EMAIL, BUT I WOULD NEVER --
LIKE, I CONSIDER MYSELF PRETTY NICE, BUT TO GIVE YOUR EMAIL TO
SOME COLLEGE KID, LIKE, OKAY, BUT --
>> Stephen: REALLY SOUNDS CREEPY NOW THAT YOU TALK ABOUT
IT.
( LAUGHTER ) >> WHAT IF I GAVE IT TO MY
FRIENDS?
IT WAS SO NICE OF YOU.
>> Stephen: NO ONE'S EVER ABUSED IT, I DO IT ALL THE TIME.
>> I FEEL LIKE I WOULD NEVER DO THAT.
>> Stephen: WELL, HERE'S THE NOT NICE PART.
>> THE NOT NICE PART IS I DID EMAIL YOU AND I SAID, YOU
KNOW -- >> Stephen: YOU ACTUALLY HAVE
IT RIGHT HERE.
>> YEAH.
JUST READ IT?
OKAY.
DEAR STEPHEN.
REALLY GREAT SEEING YOU AT COM FESTIVAL.
I'M SORRY MY ALL FEMALE SKETCH COMEDY TROOP BLOOMERS DID NOT
GET TO PERFORM AS WE JUST FINISHED WRITING OUR NEWEST
REVIEW BLOOMERS OF THE CARIBBEAN WHICH IS PIRATE THEMED.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TALKING TO ME ABOUT MOVING TO CHICAGO TO
PURSUE COMEDY.
I LOOKED UP THE TEACHER YOU HIGHLY RECOMMENDED NICK NAPIER
AND LOOKS LIKE HE'S TEACHING AT SOMEPLACE CALLED THE ANNOYANCE
NOW.
JUSJUST F.Y.I., I THOUGHT I WAS GIVING STEPHEN THE INSIDE SCOOP.
( LAUGHTER ) THANKS AGAIN AND HAVE A GREAT
SUMMER, VANESSA.
P.S., YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT A BLOORM SHOW SOMETIME.
EVEN THOUGH I'M GRADUATING I BET I COULD STILL GET YOUR NAME ON
THE COMP LIST.
>> Stephen: I NEVER WROTE YOU BACK SO I'M GOING TO DO IT RIGHT
NOW.
OKAY.
HI, VANESSA.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR WRITING -- >> AH.
>> Stephen: WHY DON'T WE JUST MEET UP AT THE ED SULLIVAN
THEATER IN 13 YEARS?
GOOD LUCK IN CHICAGO.
>> OH, THAT'S SO NICE!
>> Stephen: HERE'S MY PERSONAL PHONE NUMBER.
STEPHEN.
>> THAT'S SO NICE OF YOU.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> THANKS.
OKAY, OKAY.
>> Stephen: GOOD LUCK AT THE EMMYS.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH, I'LL SEE YOU THERE!
>> Stephen: VANESSA BAYER, EVERYBODY, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!