Nirvana lead singer and chief songwriter Kurt Cobain struggled mightily with stardom and
often bore the weight of his generation's problems. Sadly, these pressures became too
much, and Cobain took his own life in April 1994. Here's how his tragic final days played
out.
In September 1992, Vanity Fair published a profile of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love,
which detailed the couple's experiences with heroin and strongly suggested that Love used
the drug while pregnant with daughter Frances Bean. Shortly after the issue hit newsstands,
child welfare services temporarily removed the infant from her parents' custody. After
a family court decision in late March 1993, Los Angeles officially ended its supervision
of the Cobain household. All was apparently well and good... for about six weeks.
On May 2nd 1993, Cobain returned to the family's Seattle home trembling and in a dazed state.
Love determined that her husband was exhibiting the telltale signs of a heroin overdose and
tried to end the incident by orally administering a Valium, three Benadryl tablets, and four
Tylenols with codeine added, as well as injecting a dose of buprenorphine, a controlled substance
that can reverse the effects of too many opioids. Cobain recovered and wasn't arrested, even
though the ensuing police report cited his heroin use.
Just over a month later, on June 4th 1993, police once again visited the home at Love's
request. The couple had engaged in a heated argument, after which Cobain was charged with
domestic assault and had his guns confiscated. Love said the fight started over Cobain's
gun ownership, while Cobain later told a friend that it was a confrontation over his drug
use.
Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love were grunge rock's king and queen. The pair married in
early 1992, just a few months after Love's band Hole released their first album, Pretty
on the Inside. That group signed with DGC for their second LP and major label debut,
Live Through This, and by the time recording began, Nirvana were massively popular in their
own right.
As Cobain was close with much of the band, it was a no-brainer for Hole to involve Cobain
in the creation of the new record. Seeing and enjoying Radiohead's summer 1993 MTV hit
"Creep," Cobain suggested the band bring in Paul Q. Kolderie and Sean Slade, who had co-produced
the band's debut album Pablo Honey.
As Love and Cobain adjusted to being new parents while living in Los Angeles, the rest of Hole
rehearsed at a studio in Cobain's Seattle-area home. Attempts were made for Cobain to perform
on the album, but they didn't go so well. Drummer Patty Schemel later recalled:
"I remember he was on so much Klonopin, mumbling harmonies over a couple songs."
Forever the younger and hipper alternative to the much more mainstream Grammy Awards,
the MTV Video Music Awards celebrated its tenth iteration in September 1993. The evening
confirmed Seattle as the dominant musical hot spot of the early '90s, as grunge bands
won big. Pearl Jam took home four Moonman statuettes, while Nirvana won Best Alternative
Video for "In Bloom."
But it was Kurt Cobain who stole the show. Cobain treated the VMAs like he did all the
other trappings of rock star fame with humor and a decided lack of formality. On the red
carpet, he somehow stole the focus away from the likes of more fabulously dressed celebrities
by dressing in a striped shirt and sporting messy hair. He also brought along wife Courtney
Love and their baby Frances Bean Cobain, who mugged for cameras and rode around on her
dad's shoulders.
Although Cobain seemed to be having fun, the reality is that he really didn’t want to
be there. Nirvana manager Danny Goldberg later told The Hollywood Reporter:
"There was a lot of pressure from MTV for him to attend. He wasn't crazy about the idea
of awards shows, but he liked having his videos played on MTV and he didn't want to piss them
off."
By the fall of 1993, Nirvana was one of the biggest bands in the world, with a highly
anticipated follow-up to Nevermind primed for release. On September 25th 1993, Cobain
and company locked down one of music's most prestigious gigs: a guest appearance on the
season premiere of Saturday Night Live. The host that evening was NBA star Charles Barkley,
upon whom Nirvana certainly made an impression. He told Dan Patrick,
"I didn't know anything about Nirvana. First of all, they were fantastic. All the guys
were nice, and I think Courtney was there also."
The host and band dressing rooms were adjacent, and Barkley kept his door open because he
had people coming in and out. Nirvana's members kept theirs shut, however, mostly because
they were smoking marijuana in there.
"Every time those guys from Nirvana opened their locked door, I got like a contact high."
In November 1993, Nirvana enjoyed a rite of passage reserved for only the most important
rock stars of the era: they got to record an episode of Unplugged, the MTV concert series
where bands play acoustic versions of their biggest songs. At Sony Music Studios in New
York City, and with a band bolstered by additional guitarist Pat Smear, cellist Lori Goldston,
and members of the Meat Puppets, Cobain wailed his way through gently-strummed and lightly-drummed
versions of Nirvana classics. These included "All Apologies," "On a Plain," and "Come as
You Are."
Cobain even gently tweaked the format of the show to make it more special. He helped design
the set, ensuring that it was covered in black candles and lilies, and eschewed Nirvana's
substantial catalog in favor of covers, including three Meat Puppets songs, Lead Belly's standard
"Where Did You Sleep Last Night," and David Bowie's "The Man Who Sold the World." Later
released in an edited form as MTV Unplugged in New York, the performance went five times
platinum and won Nirvana their only Grammy, for Best Alternative Music Album.
Having helped to popularize grunge with their 1991 album Nevermind, Nirvana's next album
was hotly anticipated to say the least. And in September 1993, In Utero sold 180,000 copies
in its first week and debuted at #1 on the Billboard album chart. But it's remarkable
that anybody got to hear the record at all. The band's label DGC didn't like it, and Kurt
Cobain and Nirvana headed into the studio to quickly remix the album, hiring famed R.E.M.
producer Scott Litt to do so after original producer Steve Albini refused to return. When
it was released, K-Mart and Wal-Mart initially wouldn't stock the album, being squeamish
about its ghoulish cover art.
To spread the word of In Utero, Nirvana set off on their first large-scale tour in two
years but this tour was not without its problems. At one of the first stops, the band's vocal
and guitar monitors were so problematic as to cause the packed-in audience to boo the
band. A planned six-week European leg of the tour wasn't even completed, after Cobain came
down with a case of bronchitis that worsened severely at a gig in Munich that March. A
few days later, he fell ill in Rome, and those personal health reasons would mark the end
of the In Utero promotional swing.
The In Utero tour landed Kurt Cobain in Rome in early March 1994. That's where he nearly
died, too, after falling into a coma. Having ingested a number of pills in his hotel room,
paramedics rushed Cobain to the emergency room at a nearby hospital. His stomach was
pumped and cleared of what doctors said were anti-influenza and throat health drugs. About
12 hours later, Cobain seemed to be recovering. Nirvana manager Janet Billig said at the time:
"Kurt opened his eyes, he moved his fingers, and he responded to his name those are good
signs. It's very serious, but based on what we've been told by the doctors we are optimistic
that he will make a full recovery."
The truth was, however, that Cobain had actually attempted suicide. Courtney Love told Rolling
Stone in 1994 that Cobain had grown extremely depressed on the road, so she joined him in
Rome. Later that night, Love awoke to find Cobain missing from bed. She explained:
"He was at the end of the bed with a thousand dollars in his pocket and a note saying, 'You
don't love me anymore. I'd rather die than go through a divorce.'"
Love said that Cobain had ingested 50 pills out of what she called "a definite suicidal
urge." Rolling Stone confirmed that the pills pumped from the singer's stomach were Rohypnol,
a powerful tranquilizer.
Nirvana was on the verge of flaming out in early 1994. On top of Cobain's drug problems,
the band's members were eager to pursue professional lives outside of Nirvana, such as solo work.
Dave Grohl had quietly written and recorded demos of several songs, and Cobain was working
on a standalone project, too.
According to Hole guitarist and Cobain friend Eric Erlandson, Cobain was in the midst of
working on a solo LP. Erlandson told Fuse:
"It would have been his White Album."
The guitarist added that he was really excited about some of the stuff he saw Cobain play,
and revealed that the album featured at least one cover of a famous song the exact identity
of which has never been revealed.
Just a few weeks after Kurt Cobain's attempt to take his own life in March 1994, Courtney
Love tried to arrange an intervention with counselor Steven Chatoff, in order to help
her husband deal with his many demons. Chatoff told Rolling Stone:
"They called me to see what could be done. He was using, up in Seattle. He was in full
denial. It was very chaotic. And they were in fear for his life."
In advance of the intervention, Chatoff consulted a number of Cobain's friends and relatives,
one of whom tipped off the singer, leading to a cancellation. After firing Chatoff, Nirvana's
management company arranged for another intervention at Cobain's home in Seattle. About a dozen
people attended the intense, five-hour meeting on March 25, 1994, including Love, Nirvana
bassist Krist Novoselic, and the band's occasional guitarist Pat Smear.
A number of ultimatums were issued to Cobain, should he not seek medical and professional
assistance in the form of checking into a drug rehab facility: Novoselic and Smear said
they'd dissolve Nirvana, and Love said she'd leave him.
"Yes I told him he'd dropped the baby. And I was mean about. I wasn't really mean, but I wasn't
nice about it."
"And you think that's why he did it, because you said to him…" "I think it's a major
reason." "Oh, Courtney." "I do, I think it's a major reason."
Love then flew to Los Angeles and enrolled herself in a drug rehab program. Cobain stayed
behind in Seattle and dropped by the home of a friend to ask for a gun, ostensibly to
scare off trespassers on his property. Together, they bought a 20-gauge shotgun and ammunition.
Cobain then left the gun at home before boarding a flight to LA to enter rehab.
"I shouldn't have called for an intervention. I just panicked."
Cobain acquiesced to the wishes of his wife and bandmates, and in late March 1994, he
flew to Los Angeles to check into the Exodus Recovery Center in Marina del Rey, California.
On April 1st, he called Courtney Love, reportedly telling her:
"Just remember, no matter what, I love you."
That would mark the final conversation between Cobain and Love. Later that day, at about
7:30 PM, Cobain informed an Exodus staff member that he was going outside to smoke a cigarette
but instead managed to scale the six-foot-tall brick wall that surrounds the property. The
following day, Love hired private investigators to find Cobain, and canceled his credit cards.
By that point, he had returned to Seattle, where he was purportedly spotted by one of
his daughter's nannies. His location still in doubt on April 4th, Cobain's mother Wendy
O'Connor reported him missing, suggesting that her son could be suicidal or might be
out trying to score drugs. Other accounts say Cobain wandered around a Seattle park
and spent some time at his other home outside Seattle, in the town of Carnation.
According to a police report, on April 8th 1994, the body of the Nirvana frontman was
discovered in the greenhouse of his home on Lake Washington in Seattle, by an electrician
who had been hired to work on a security system.
"The lead singer of the enormously popular rock band Nirvana is dead, apparently he was
a suicide at the age of 27."
Near to Cobain was a 20-gauge shotgun with expended shells, and he had suffered a head
wound, evidence of a self-inflicted gunshot as the cause of death. He left a note, addressed
to Boddah, a comforting childhood imaginary friend, and signed it:
"Peace, love, empath."
He also addressed his wife:
"Please keep going Courtney, for Frances."
If you or anyone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide
Prevention Lifeline​ at​ 1-800-273-TALK (8255)​.