-Former President Donald Trump
praised Vladimir Putin's savvy and genius
amid U.S. warnings of an imminent
full-scale Russian invasion of Ukraine,
and yet even as he was doing that,
Republicans and right-wing pundits claimed
it was President Biden who was showing weakness.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
[ Cheers and applause ]
I do not profess to be a foreign policy expert
by any stretch.
Most of my foreign policy experience
comes from my magical semester abroad in Rome
when I dodged out-of-control Vespas
and fell in with Dickie Greenleaf
and that creep Tom Ripley.
And, oh, wait, that's a movie.
I'm remembering a movie.
Anyway, I'm no foreign policy expert,
but even I can see that virtually no one in the world
thinks what Russia is doing right now is a good idea --
apparently, not even Putin's own advisers,
who looked frozen and terrified
during a bizarre National Security meeting
broadcast on Russian television earlier this week,
where Putin quizzed them one by one
on what he should do as if he didn't already know the answers.
-The National Security Council of Russia had a televised event.
They broadcast this highly choreographed session
of the Security Council in Russia,
in which they were discussing the possibility,
Vladimir Putin and his top officials,
of recognizing those rebel republics in the east of Ukraine
as independent states.
-This was when he was speaking to his Security Council
before the actual address to the nation, to be clear.
And according to the Moscow bureau chief
of the "Financial Times," these are --
well, we know these the senior-most Russian officials
over there sort of arrayed.
None of them were within 20 yards of Putin at any point.
-First of all, why is he sitting so far away from them?
Did he put them there, or did they all gradually
scoot their chairs back during the meeting?
[ Russian accent ] Yes, Mr. President,
in regards to Ukraine, I believe best path forward,
and don't -- don't quote me on this,
because I would like very much not to be wrong.
[ Normal voice ] Usually to see people sit that far away,
a guy has to bring a Komodo dragon onto the subway.
"Hey, don't worry, everybody, he doesn't bite.
Ow! Bad timing, Gary."
This photo --
[ Laughter ]
This photo reminds me of an interview Trump did
during the 2020 campaign at the Lincoln Memorial
when the interviewers sat like a mile away from him.
I guess they wanted to be far enough away
so they could get up and leave at any moment
without Trump noticing, you know, just sneak off
during one of his insane rants.
[ As Trump ] Lincoln, we love Lincoln.
Good old Abe.
"Abe" rhymes with "Gabe," which, of course,
reminds me of the great -- the great Gabe Kaplan.
He should -- He should really
have a statue, too, if you ask me.
Welcome back, Kotter.
Kotter. He left, but he came back.
He came back.
He came back and he whipped those Sweathogs into shape.
Oh, we love the Sweathogs, don't we, folks?
We love -- Folks?
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] I'm pretty sure that once Trump got rolling,
even Lincoln scooched his chair back a little.
[ Rumbling ]
[ Laughter ]
Really good.
Guys, this is the first time we see the graphics, too, so...
If a single tear rolls down my face,
just know it's 'cause I'm really [bleep] proud
of what they did today.
Also, check out this close-up of Putin's advisers.
Yikes! They look like they're all
in the waiting room for a colonoscopy.
You know things are bleak when even Putin's closest
and most loyal advisers don't want to look him in the eye.
That's the way my staff looks at me when I say,
"I think I might do my Al Pacino impression tonight.
What do you think, Mikhail?
Mikhail?
Should I do the Pacino?
Barb?
Barb, you're looking like you think
the Pacino might be a good idea."
Yeah, but you know what? Maybe it won't work.
I mean, because tonight's "Closer Look" is about --
[ As Pacino ] Ukraine. Our crane.
This whole courtroom is crane.
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] See, the audience loves it.
How about you, Lincoln? You love it, right?
[ Rumbling ]
[ Laughter ]
And just to give you an idea of how nervous and reticent
even Putin's closest advisers have been to agree with him,
at one point, Putin demanded
that the director of Russia's Foreign Intelligence Service
give an opinion about whether Putin
should recognize two breakaway regions of Ukraine
as independent territories, which, of course, he later did.
Here's how that exchange went,
according to a reporter for the "Financial Times."
Putin said, "Speak clearly, do you support recognition?"
And the adviser said, "I will."
To which Putin replied, "You will or you do?"
Then the adviser said,
"I support bringing them into Russia."
To which Putin replied, "That's not what we are discussing.
Do you support recognizing independence?"
And then the adviser, flustered, said, "Yes."
Jesus!
I have flop sweat just from reading that exchange.
Usually you got to dangle a guy over a shark tank
to get that tense a back-and-forth.
And, Vlad, the last thing I want to do
is give you management notes,
but the way you say things like "speak clearly"
almost guarantees that people won't.
[ Laughter ]
Hoo-ah!
[ Laughter ]
So look, if their body language
and tentative responses are any indication,
not even Putin's closest advisers
thought this was an especially smart move.
Virtually no one does.
The entire world is aghast and horrified.
The only people who could possibly think
this is a good move are those unemployed fringe weirdos
who go on small-time radio shows.
You know, like this guy.
No, you don't got to say that.
I mean, well, maybe you got to say that
so someone will pick you up at the Moscow airport
when you flee our jurisdiction.
It's just insane that Trump is still so desperate
to praise a bloodthirsty tyrant like Putin every chance he get.
Trump narrates Putin's every move like he's Tony Romo
calling the last drive of a playoff game.
"Oh, man, here he comes.
He's setting up at the goal line.
And he's going to roll tanks into the end zone.
You got to say, Jim, this is very savvy."
Also, can we go back to the beginning of that clip?
Oh, there was a TV screen in a room you went into.
I guarantee you there's not a room in that man's life
where there isn't a TV screen.
Even his sauna has a TV with a squeegee next to it
to wipe off the condensation.
[ Laughter ]
[ As Trump ] Sean Hannity's sweating again.
Oh, okay, okay.
[ Normal voice ] So Putin's own advisers look scared.
Meanwhile, Trump's watching Russian tanks roll into Ukraine
with pom-poms in his hands, calling it genius.
And in that story,
who did he say the words "this is genius" to, anyway?
Was Melania in the room with him?
[ As Trump ] Mel? Mel, you got to come see --
Vlad's inva-- It's genius, Mel.
Mel? Mel. Oh, wait a minute.
This is just a scarecrow with a dress on it.
Well played, Mel.
[ Normal voice ] So the leader of the Republican Party
is calling lawless Russian military aggression
toward a sovereign country genius,
while President Biden is trying to unite world allies
to stop Russia
and making it clear he does not want a war with Russia.
-Who in the Lord's name does Putin think gives him the right
to declare new so-called countries
on territory that belong to his neighbors?
This is a flagrant violation of international law
and demands a firm response from the international community.
Let me be clear.
These are totally defensive moves on our part.
We have no intention of fighting Russia.
-First of all, I'm glad he said that last part,
since no one serious seems to want
or is suggesting a war with Russia,
which would be catastrophic, which is why the world
needs to do everything possible to avoid one.
Second, I like when Biden goes full Scranton
and uses old-timey phrases like "who in the Lord's name?"
Biden's got the tone of a guidance counselor
sitting backwards on a chair,
trying to talk a burnout kid into turning his life around.
[ As Biden ] So you think you're some hotshot, huh, chief?
Recognizing breakaway regions, invading your neighbors.
Who in the Lord's name do you think you are?
Guess what -- You're not going cruisin' tonight,
'cause you're in detention with the rest of the Sweathogs.
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] And yet in comparing those two reactions from Trump and Biden,
Republicans apparently come to the obviously insane conclusion
that it was Biden who was somehow projecting weakness,
although Biden's critics on the right
can't seem to make up their minds
about whether we should be showing strength toward Putin
or whether we should just be siding with Putin.
-The administration, basically on the Obama model,
is for weakness.
They avoid war, frankly,
by accepting surrender of their own interests.
-The GOP House conference tweeted a picture of Biden
walking away from the podium with this quote --
"This is what weakness on the world stage looks like."
-The administration has been so muddled
in the way they have made Vladimir Putin
have the upper hand throughout this entire time.
-The White House, it seems like the response,
even though it was supposed to be quite robust, was very timid.
-He looks very weak, and Russia is taking advantage of it.
-It might be worth asking yourself,
since it is getting pretty serious,
"What is this really about?
Why do I hate Putin so much?
Has Putin ever called me a racist?
Has he threatened to get me fired for disagreeing with him?
Has he shipped every middle-class job
in my town to Russia?
Did he manufacture a worldwide pandemic
that wrecked my business and kept me indoors for two years?
Is he teaching my children to embrace racial discrimination?
Is he making fentanyl?
Is he trying to snuff out Christianity?
Does he eat dogs?"
-Why? Why do I hate Putin so much?
Did he call me a racist?
Did he get me fired from my job?
Did he ring my doorbell and run away,
leaving a flaming paper bag on my doorstep?
A bag I then stomped on,
only to discover it was filled with dog feces?
Did he make plans with me
as means of an apology for the dog [bleep] prank
to meet at a fancy restaurant and then not show up on time,
texting every five minutes, "On way, there soon,"
only to arrive an hour late and then say, "I had a late lunch.
Is it cool if I just watch you eat?"
And then when my food did come, would he pick it off my plate,
one French fry at a time,
until he'd eaten at least half of the French fries?
And when the bill came from the waiter,
did he point at me and say, "I actually didn't eat"?
Even though both the waiter and I
could see the giant ketchup smudge on his face
from the colossal bite he took of my burger?
Did Vladimir Putin do that to me?
Yes, he did.
[ Laughter ]
He did it yesterday.
Also, to all those warmongers,
like Mike Pompeo and Newt Gingrich
and the House Republicans who called Biden weak,
your dude is the one who just called Putin savvy
and praised his genius.
Do you guys even pay attention to what Trump is saying anymore?
Or do you just assume, like most of us,
that he got lost wandering around the 18th hole
at one of his golf courses and now he just lives in a sand trap
with a bunch of pigeons?
And even when he was president,
Trump was always so desperate to buddy up with Putin,
even Putin couldn't believe it.
Trump was like those rookie defensive backs
who would stop Tom Brady after the game for an autograph.
"Hey, I know I'm on the other team, but huge fan.
Don't tell my coach."
Putin always had that smile on his face
when he was next to Trump like,
"I can't believe how easy this is."
And as much as I don't want to hear
from the Trumps and Fox Newses of the world,
I very much also don't want to hear
from the same belligerent maniacs
who have consistently been wrong
about foreign policy for decades,
like former Trump national security adviser
and Bush administration official John Bolton,
one of the key cheerleaders of the Iraq war
who has advocated for bombing or invading multiple countries.
For some reason, Bolton was invited on MSNBC yesterday
to give his take on the Russia situation.
-How do you deter Vladimir Putin?
He seems absolutely determined to do what he is about to do,
because he's amassed this force.
Do you see him backing down?
-I don't at this point.
Look, the President announced on Friday
that his policy had failed.
He said, unequivocally,
the Russian decision to invade Ukraine had been made.
That's an admission that deterrence has failed.
-I'm sorry, but there's no one I would rather hear from
on foreign policy less than John Bolton.
I'm all for having experts on cable news,
but you don't get to be an expert
if you've never been right.
Bolton was wrong on Iraq, wrong on Afghanistan,
wrong on the mustaches coming back.
Although I did meet John Bolton once,
and he told me my Pacino impression is great.
Oh [bleep]
[ Laughter ]
That means it sucks, right?
The leader of the Republican Party
praised a bloodthirsty autocrat
as the U.S. warns of an imminent full-scale invasion
that virtually the entire world is horrified by.
And yet the GOP has the gall to call Biden weak.
Maybe Trump is just praising Putin
in the hope that if he runs again in 2024, Putin will say...
-♪ Welcome back ♪
[ Laughter ]
-So I think in order for that to work,
everybody here would have --
in the body of the "Closer Look,"
they would have had to leave and go watch "Welcome Back, Kotter."
[ Laughter ]
This has been "A Closer Look."
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