- Ned, do you masturbate?
(screams)
I don't want to know!
- Masturbation.
- How is it different when you're
married versus, when you're single?
You make videos about this all the time!
- [Both] All the time!
- What's your jerking off history like?
- Well you know, as a teenager
I experimented, did it a lot.
- I kind of did it so much that
as a child my mom told me to stop.
She was like, don't do that so much,
because your vagina's gonna fall off
if you do it too much.
- Will your vagina fall off, if you masturbate too much?
- No 'cause I still got it!
- Nice, checks out, checks out.
- Yeah.
- When is the last time that you masturbated?
- One, two, three, last night.
- I can't remember.
(laughing)
- Really?
When your wife leaves, is your first thought?
- Immediate, no.
(laughing)
- I have a roommate.
- Sure.
- And the second my roommate is
out the door, my pants are off.
(laughs)
But I feel with marriage, you have
someone there to help you through those times.
- If you want to masturbate, and your
partner's like you know, doesn't want
to have sex, then sometimes you know,
it's a group activity, know what I'm saying?
- Oh, my God!
Okay, I can support that.
There are all kinds of ways to masturbate.
It doesn't just have to be with your hand,
or with a toy, like do some weird googling
kids, just make sure to set your browser to private.
- Number of times in a week that you masturbate?
- [Both] One, two, three.
- Seven!
- Zero point five.
- Porn?
- Oh yeah.
- How has that changed since you got married?
- Sometimes we watch porn together.
- Good for you guys!
I have to watch porn, because
I don't have anyone to imagine really.
Single persons masturbation kit,
looks a little something like this.
A vibrator of some sort, my cell phone
'cause gotta watch porn somehow.
- True.
- And me.
- Sometimes all you need is your 'ol right hand.
(slapping)
(laughing)
- Point is, masturbate, do it.
- And if you have a partner, talk
about it with them, or do it together.
If you're masturbating right now.
We get it.
- I don't blame you like hello.
(laughing)
Duh.