Clay: In this video, we're going to be talking about
five secret signs your ex misses you. But first, my name is Clay with modernlove.life, where we
help you get the great loving relationship you're looking for without having to play mind games,
without having to play hard to get, and without having to pretend to be someone or something that
you are not, because you deserve to be loved for the unique, amazing, and wonderful person
that you are. And if you agree with me, do me a favor, hit that thumbs up button for
the YouTube algorithm so that you can help a guy grow his YouTube channel a little bit and
think about subscribing to this channel as well too, so that you can get notified when we
publish and update the channel with new videos. We are going to be talking about the emotional
connection that you have with your ex. And if that is something you want to learn a little
bit more about, we do have a course called the EX Solution Program. You can find information on that
down below in the description box. If it seems like it's a good fit for you, go ahead,
sign up. If it's not a good fit for you, no worries, not going to twist your arm for it. After
you break up with someone, the two of you may not be totally honest with one another about things,
or maybe you may not want to truly admit the truth to one another about a lot of things. And there
are reasons for this. There's that whole same team topic that we've talked about in previous videos.
But if your ex does miss you but they're not fessing up to it, they're not confessing
that they actually do miss you, or they're not being forthright about it,
there are some things that you might experience. Okay? So the first one of those is that they are
closer to you than they realistically need to be. Okay. And this can take different forms depending
on how the two of you are in each other's lives. If the two of you aren't actually in each other's
lives in any sort of meaningful way, are they following you on social media? Are they watching
your stories or liking your posts or something like that when they realistically don't need to
be? If so, then that could potentially be a sign that they are still emotionally interested in you,
emotionally missing the time that the two of you had together and wanting to connect.
There's also other ways that this could show up as well too. I mean, obviously,
if the two of you are in each other's lives, maybe you have mutual friends or something like that,
are they being closer to you than they would realistically need to be? That is to say, are they
going out of their way to spend maybe one-on-one time with you when maybe they don't really need
to, maybe it doesn't make a lot of sense given the situation or something like that. If that's the
case, then, okay, that also falls under that same category of them being closer to you than they
realistically need to be. The second sign that your ex secretly misses you is that they leave
the door open. They leave the door open for the two of you to potentially interact in some way in
the future. Maybe like, "Oh yeah, let's talk next time. I'll see you later." Or something like that.
I mean, obviously, that's a general sense. And sure, people do sometimes just say I'll see you
later, when they don't genuinely mean it. But if you can tell that they genuinely mean it,
or there's a genuine open invitation there in some capacity, then yeah, this falls under that
category. Other ways that this might show up are, that they might be talking about a future
with you in it. They might be making future plans like "Oh, when this whole pandemic is
over, we should totally go on a road trip across the country. Or we should totally go
do that thing in the place, whatever, take a trip over to this place or go do, I don't know,
[inaudible 00:03:29]" or whatever the two you do. But they start to actually plant seeds about the
future. They start to leave the door open for the two of you to potentially do things in the future.
What they're really doing in situations like this, is that they are kind of probing, kind of testing
to see how open and receptive you might be to potentially spending the future with them. Now,
I don't know if they're particularly invested in this, I don't know if they're head over
heels in love with you, or if they're just curious, it could be somewhere in between.
But this just shows that they are open to exploring what the two of you might have in
each other's future. They're open to seeing where you might be in regards to that. And basically,
they're leaving the door open to see if you walk through it, to see if you might be
mutually interested in them as well too. This allows them to, in a subtle kind of way,
express their interest in you without really sticking their neck out there. Because nobody
really wants to just lay it all out there and risk potential rejection. So, if they are creating a
mental future of some sort and you're a part of it, or they're leaving the door open in
some sort of way, "Yeah. Let's talk some time in the future." It's something as simple as that. Or
"Hey, maybe we should totally go do something like this next summer or whatever." Then that
would definitely fall within the realm of leaving the door open. The third secret sign that your ex
misses you is that they are still doing things that are uniquely associated with you.
So the two of you maybe were together in each other's lives. And as the result of that, we often
rub off on each other. We often introduce other people to parts of our world like for example,
I don't know, just hypothetically, maybe you were in a relationship with someone who was,
I don't know, a photographer, and as a result of that you gained an appreciation for Ansel Adams,
or maybe certain photographic techniques or something like that, and then you broke up for
whatever reason. And then, if you then look at your ex and, well, I guess you're dating
the photographer in this case, but if then you still go out of your way to do things that are
photography related, or if you're still interested in Ansel Adams and get an Ansel Adams' calendar,
and post about things Ansel Adams' related on your social media or something like that, you know that
that's something that your ex introduced you to. And that's something that you're broadcasting
that says, "Hey, I'm still interested in this way that you brought me into your world in some way."
And that's broadcasting that, hey, our time together wasn't all that bad. And there were
actually some positive things to it, and I actually maybe miss you in a certain capacity.
And so, if you're noticing things like that, I don't know, maybe we'll call this the Ansel Adams
effect. Is that even something? Then that could totally be a sign that your ex misses you. Okay?
So, definitely be on the lookout for that. The fourth thing is if they have really flimsy excuses
for the two of you not being together, especially if these flimsy excuses seem to be coming out of
nowhere when the two of you are actually interacting. It's like, "Oh yeah, we just
can't do it because it would just be so hard." "Well, okay. What would be hard about it?" "I
don't know. It just would be so hard." "Well, okay." Especially if this is coming out of
nowhere, especially if you're just talking about something totally mundane and then just say,
we could never be together for this reason or that reason. That just shows that there's
a part of them that's thinking about the two of you being together. There's a part of them
that's emotionally thinking about, "Oh yeah, it would be interesting if we were together
again," but then they're putting the brakes on it by coming up with this excuse, especially
if it's a flimsy excuse. I mean, if it's a legitimate excuse, then that's another story.
But if it's a flimsy excuse then it says, okay, they probably are considering wanting to be
closer to you emotionally, and they probably do miss you, but they're putting the brakes on it
before they allow themselves to get too invested emotionally because maybe that's too painful,
maybe it's something that they don't want to take a chance on, because a lot of people just
don't want to take chances. A lot of people are just really interested in sure things in life.
I don't think that's really the best way to go about living your life. I think that, yeah,
if you want something, play all out, go for it. But that is how a lot of people think, they try to
manage the downside, manage the risk. And there is something to be said about that,
but, sure, in my opinion go for what you want 100% don't just be like,
"Well, I don't know. Only if it seems like there's a 110% chance it's going to happen then I'll only
let myself do. Until then, I'll just sit here on the fence and not make a decision." But anyway,
that's a side tangent. If your ex is giving you flimsy excuses for not being together,
then it really does demonstrate that there's probably them secretly missing you. And then the
fifth secret sign that your ex misses you, is that their body is telling you a very different story.
Now, of course, this is really only going to be relevant to you if the two of you actually
are able to meet up in person, and it's 2020, maybe you're not able to meet them in person.
But if you live in the same area, if you have mutual friends or whatever, you are in contact
with one another direct, face-to-face contact with one another for practical reasons or whatever,
despite whatever their body or whatever their words may say to you, if their body is telling
you a different story, and if you're looking at their body language and you're like yeah, you
seem really open to me, you seem really inviting to me, maybe you're even making physical contact,
flirting or something like that, then that is definitely a sign that they miss you.
Because you can say things, you can put on an act, you can posture to a certain degree,
but your body is not going to lie. At least not as readily as the words that come out of your
mouth or the act that you tried to put on. If you like someone, your body is going to be naturally
receptive and open to that person. And [inaudible 00:09:34] to take some
complicated body language course or anything like that, just look at their body and just see,
yeah, does that seem open and receptive to me or is it closed of? And just look at it that way to
tell you where they're at emotionally. Okay? And so, the main takeaway with all of this,
is that you have to look at where your ex is at on an emotional level.
You have to look at what's going on with them emotionally. And if you do want to swing them
around to not just secretly missing you, but overtly missing you and overtly wanting to
get back together with you, you have to connect with them on that emotional level, validate how
they're feeling on that emotional level, and guide them through their own emotional journey towards
actually wanting to get back together with you. That's where the course, The Ex Solution Program
comes into play. It goes through this process of your ex's five stages of emotionally learning how
to trust you again. And it goes through how to connect better with your ex through what
we call advanced relational skills. So, if that is something that you want to learn more about,
if that is something that you're curious about, again, we have that course down below.
Once again, I hope you found this video helpful. I hope you found it useful. If it's been giving you
some things to think about, or if you're starting to see some of these signs in your ex's behavior
that make you think that they might be missing you, go ahead and share those in the comment
section below. And if you liked this video, give it a thumbs up, help a guy out with his YouTube
channel, right? And yeah, if you do want to learn more about your ex's five emotional stages,
you might want to check out this video series over here, or you might want to check out this
video right here. Anyway, my name is Clay. Take care, and I'll talk to you next time.