- WHAT UP, HOMIES? - WELCOME TO...
both: CUNNILINGUS CLASS. - I'M SHABOOTS MICHAELS.
- I'M T-RAY TOMBSTONE.
- AND WE'RE HERE TO TEACH Y'ALL HOW TO...
both: GO DOWN ON BITCHES RIGHT.
- NOW BITCHES AIN'T BEING SATISFIED, SO CHECK IT.
- QUIT SUCKING ON THAT [bleep] SO DAMN HARD.
- BITCHES DON'T LIKE THAT NONSENSE.
- THAT'S LIKE PUTTING THE TIP
OF YOUR PENIS IN THE VACUUM.
- Y'ALL NEED TO... both: CHILL ON THE [bleep].
- GO AROUND THAT BUSINESS. - THAT'S LIKE A BUTTON
MADE OF A MILLION PENIS TOPS.
- NOW EVERY BITCH LIKE HER CUNNILINGUS
A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT. - VAGINAS ARE LIKE SNOWFLAKES.
- SNOWFLAKES IS DIFFERENT. LEARN YOUR BITCH'S SNOWFLAKE.
- ASK YOUR BITCH WHAT SHE WANTS.
both: THEN DO WHAT SHE SAYS.
- SOME BITCHES LIKE IT IN CIRCLES.
- SOME BITCHES LIKE IT UP AND DOWN.
- SOME BITCHES LIKE IT HARD.
- SOME BITCHES LIKE IT SOFT.
both: COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR BITCHES.
- MAKE THE ALPHABET WITH YOUR TONGUE.
- A-B-C-D...
- AND WHEN SHE GRAB YOUR HAIR
LIKE SHE GONNA PULL YOUR DAMN HEAD OFF...
both: STAY WITH THAT LETTER.
- I'M TALKING ABOUT B... [blathers]
- OR D... [blathers]
both: VAGINAS DESERVE RESPECT.
- YOU DON'T WANT SOMEONE SLAPPING AROUND
YOUR LITTLE HOMEY. [yelping]
- YOU WITH THE HAT. - YO.
- HOW YOU LIKE YOUR BJs?
- DAMN, DOG, ALL THE TIME.
- SHUT THE [bleep] UP!
THAT'S 'CAUSE PENISES IS EASY,
AND VAGINAS IS HARD.
THEY'RE... both: CONFUSING!
- IMAGINE THERE'S AN EXPLOSION AT THE ENVELOPE FACTORY.
- FLAPS EVERYWHERE. A WORLD OF FLAPS.
- AND YOU NEED TO LICK YOUR WAY OUT THE FACTORY.
- BUT EVERY BITCH'S FLAPS IS DIFFERENT.
- LEARN YOUR BITCH'S PARTICULAR FLAPS.
- FLAPS BE... both: CRAZY!
- EVERY FLAP NEED TO BE LISTENED TO.
- AND THEN YOU WILL GET OUT OF THAT FACTORY ALIVE.
- STAY DOWN THERE.
both: PLAN YOUR BREATHING LIKE YOUR SWIMMING.
- YOU GOTTA BE TALKING ABOUT... both: STROKE, STROKE, BREATHE.
STROKE, STROKE, BREATHE.
[gasping]
- ALL RIGHT. LET'S TAKE A FIVE-MINUTE BREAK.
- AND WHEN WE COME BACK, WE GONNA TALK
ABOUT WARMING YOUR BITCHES UP BEFORE YOU GET BUSY.
- AND HOW TO LAST FOR MORE THAN TWO DAMN MINUTES.
- TAKE A PEACH AND PRACTICE.
- PRACTICE ON A PEACH. - TAKE A PEACH AND PRACTICE.
- PRACTICE ON A PEACH.
- WELL, I THINK IT'S GONNA WORK.
- 30 DOWN, 3 BILLION TO GO.
[maniacal laughter]