I
Had such an amazing week all four hometowns
Went so well
I have four great guys who have pushed through this crazy journey so far
And put up with me and so fuck them now like me
But I have an extremely difficult decision to make tonight because after meeting their families
I could see a future with all four of them
So I just need to talk it through with the people who know me the best
And hopefully they can just give me some clarity
These girls have been through the journey before and so to have all five of them back
Before the rose ceremony tonight means the world and I could not be more excited
Much to catch up on assembly. Cheers Cheers. I
Can't imagine what everything that's happened with tell us first of all
Can you see yourself marrying one of these men
But you guys I have a huge night ahead of me it would love any advice
I can get I reckon potentially be engaged. Does it seem like it really could happen like you're really gonna be engaged
Yeah, so my core the point who were the four the four? Okay, so we did hometown
Yeah
So I first went to Garrett who I gave the first impression rose to we planted tomatoes and he drove me on the tractor
Which is actually pretty sexy
Smiley like yeah, and then we went to Jason's hometown in Buffalo
I felt like going into Jason's family
it would be like my mom's side of the family cuz he's just loud and crazy loves games loves today on loves to sing and
That's how my mom's side is and so after I met his family he walked me out and doing that. He's in love with me
But you guys Jason is the best kisser in the entire
After New York, we went to Colorado and
I have my hometown date with Blake and
what I always loved about Blake is that he is so open and tells me
So much about him and it shows me just like why he is this amazing man?
And then we stayed in Colorado and we had Colton some time
We went shopping for children for the Children's Hospital and then brought them gifts. So it was a really special day and then
That night I met his family
It kind of felt like mine. Yeah, and they were all
Just good to talk to and you know, I dressed the fact that you guys had seen each other
Because I didn't want it to be awkward anything. Like I knew that thing new. Yeah, and
Can you talk for a second right now? Yeah, yeah
Here all the way yeah
Turn and go here sir over here
Okay
I just need a minute
so
Like obviously this is like hard for me and I'm like nervous to even have to talk to you about this right now
But I just had to like be fully honest and just kind of put it out there because it's been like weighing on me
yeah, I
Just feel like I am just so excited like to hear you. Talk about Blake and Garrett and
Jason and like when I think about Colton
Like if I'm being completely honest with myself like I do feel like I still have feelings for Colton
and
When I think about Colton being at this point now like in it makes me sick in my stomach
Yeah
Knowing that you got to meet his family and like knowing that he's still here and this makes me like sick
Yeah
Well, I wish I would have known that I know I'm so sorry
Obviously, these are two of my best friend Cory's like I love them both work so hard because I can't tell you how many times
She has texted me being like I'm sick to my stomach here in this position
You know like what would you do if
You're actually having feelings for this person. You have to with your heart
And right now she has to listen to oh man. This sucks this
Is like this is so hard
You know, obviously I did think I would put that behind us and I do want to support one another and we do want all
of us to find love and to find happiness and
Obviously, I struggled the first couple weeks with everything because it was so hard
and yeah, I told you I was ready to send them home right but I've gotten to know him these past weeks tonight and
care so strongly for him like you did just me is family and you obviously do have
Feelings for each other, but it's just it's crazy. Like I don't like
really realizing that I do care for him, but
It's there right and like I just couldn't leave without you knowing that
It's just good to be honored ya know and that's all I want
I'm gonna sit up here for a little bit. I'll come by the girls soon
I never saw that coming. I thought we put it to bed weeks ago. I thought it was done. And so
The fact that she still does have some feelings and isn't Ron bored with me being with Colton
Makes me frustrated. It makes me angry. It hurts to hear. I
Don't want to lose any friendship over a guy
but the last time I saw Colton it was a wonderful night with his family and he told me that
He loves me and so now I don't know what to do
this is a huge rose ceremony tonight and
I have
way more to think about now and
It's weighing on me and it kind of leaves me with a heavy heart
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