- [Interviewer] Hey, Dan.
Another question, if you have the moment.
So I have a mentor, and I feel like
they're really teaching me a lot of stuff
and I'm really learning and progressing myself,
but we butt heads and sometimes I feel like I'm
really sacrificing my own values and morals
just to make sure that they're happy
because I'm so grateful to have them as a mentor.
But how do I know if the mentor's right for me?
- Over the years, I've learned from
a lot of different people.
I've read thousands of books, I've read audio programs
study audio programs, attended hundreds of events,
so I've learned from a lot of people
and talked to a lot of successful people quote/end quote.
But in my mind I've only had two mentors
so far up to this point in my career.
My first mentor, his name is Alan,
and then the second mentor which is Dan Pena,
the 50 Billion Dollar Man.
Two mentor.
I think sometimes people, you get confused
in terms of exactly what is the mentor/mentee relationship.
Does that means you watch my video, that I am your mentor?
Maybe you see me as a mentor, and that's perfectly fine,
but I am more old school,
because of my martial art background.
I think a mentor/mentee relationship,
there has to be interaction, meaning it's not just
you watch a video and you comment below.
You're consuming my content,
but without interaction, I don't see that myself
as a mentor/mentee relationship.
I'm teaching you, I am impacting your life,
I'm giving you some ideas, I'm helping to maybe even
shift your perspective on certain things.
But a mentor/mentee relationship is something
that is very, very special.
So how do you know your mentor's right for you?
First of all, I think you need to find a mentor
that you truly, deeply resonate with.
Not just because he or she is successful,
not just because he or she is financial well-off,
or they're cool, or they're whatever.
It is, is this person where I want to be
five, 10 years, 15 years later in my life?
Do I look up to them?
I think this is very, very critical.
Not just because he's got a penthouse,
he drives a fucking fast car, or whatever, Ferrari,
or cool shit, or it's got lot of social media following.
No, do I resonate with this person?
Would I see myself learning from this person?
Not just buying a course, but long term.
Long term.
That's why a lot of my students they call me sifu
out of respect.
Because it's not just, oh Dan, it's just I learned
something from him, I take a course, I watch his video
But we have that long-term relationship.
We go deep.
Are you willing to go deep?
Because if you're not going to go deep,
you're not going to get mastery, period.
You're not going to get mastery by watching
a few, even a hundred videos.
That's not how you get good at anything.
Then the second thing is, the values of you
and your mentor, does it align?
Example, if your value is you like to have lots of
kind of like other mentors out there,
you have 10 girlfriends, right?
You're gonna have the laptop lifestyle,
and you're gonna be a punk kid and all of that stuff,
then I may not be the guy for you.
There's certain things I believe in,
there's certain values I believe in,
there are certain things I do that if that resonates
with you then maybe there's some synergy, some connection,
but hey, you know what?
If that's what you believe in, that's great.
If you believe in just hustle, hustle, hustle,
you work your face off, and you're gonna get your goal,
that's not what I believe in.
I think you need to work hard,
but also think you need to work smart.
There's specific ways that you need to work, right?
So does it align?
If that doesn't align, that does not work.
So then you know is that mentor right for you.
I know it's a little bit like asking is this girl,
is this man, is this woman, are they right for me?
Can I get married?
The truth is, you know if he or she is right for you,
you will know.
You will know.
It's like, you know what?
We get along, we connect.
He or she is like my best friend.
We talk about everything.
We can travel together, we grow together,
we learn together, our values are aligned.
Just like any human relationship, mentor is no different.
I truly believe mentor is no different.
You have to ask yourself, when I found my mentor,
and both of them, to this very day are still my mentors.
So it's not like oh, I learned from them back then,
but now I'm Dan Lok, I'm so successful.
I don't, no, no no.
I still respect tremendously,
I just respect them tremendously.
So that relationship is very special.
Then when you find that person,
you can see it is much more like this.
Here's how you know.
And it's not like oh, here's someone I can learn
something from.
That is cool; he does some cool shit,
let me buy his thing.
No, when you find a mentor, you will feel like you're home.
You'll feel like I don't need to look anymore.
Just like relationship.
I don't need to go on another date anymore.
This is it; I'm home.
I can be with this mentor, I can be with this person,
I can learn from this person for a long time.
Not three months, not six months, not one year.
You could see yourself learning from this person
for like 10 years.
Because you can see this person has depth.
Problem is, most mentors you see online,
I hate to say it, they're very shallow.
Very surface level.
They have no depth.
And that's why when you talk with them,
when you communicate, when you consume their content,
when you their videos, listen to podcasts,
you fee like aren't you just saying the same shit
again, and again, and again in hundred different ways?
Or the experience, the way that they communicate,
or where they're coming from is very shallow.
You feel like it's tasteless.
You feel like, come on, this must be more.
It doesn't feel there's any depth
because they have no fucking depth!
But they have depth, you can always go back to them
and again, and again, and again, how do you know
it's a good mentor?
You always have more, more, more, more lightbulb moments,
more breakthrough, more aha,
and every single time you think, oh yeah, I got it,
there's an other lightbulb moment,
there's an other deeper level,
and there's an other deeper level,
and there's an other deeper level.
And this, when you find that person,
whoever that person may be, maybe me,
it may be somebody else, but when you found that person
then you know you have the right mentor.