- We're on holiday, - yeah.
- We're in Minorca for this press/blogger trip,
hashtag must see Minorca, so the sun is all outside,
but sometimes it'll appear, sometimes it'll go away.
- Don't mind it, don't mind it.
- So the light is gonna change throughout this video.
Also, I'm with Melanie! - Yay!
I'm back on your channel.
- I know it's been so long, oh that's the sun.
(laughing)
- Another day of sun.
- So I wrote this blog post recently, about how I've gained
weight in the last, kinda like six to ten months,
and how I feel about that and how I had to buy loads of
new clothes 'cause none of my clothes fit me and around
holiday and it was just like, aaahh, and we were talking
about this and Mel was just like, oh yeah that happened
to me a year ago. - Literally.
Same, exact same story as well, so Hannah's documented
her coming off the pill and um,
- Yeah, that's pretty much where I can like, count it from,
which is really strange 'cause a lot of people say,
oh I went on the pill and I gained weight, and I'm like
I came off the pill and I gained weight.
- Yeah, yeah, I think it's just cause it messes your
hormones so much, it throws them so out of whack that you're
like, you've no time to adjust, it's like your body goes,
boom, boom, pphh, but you are in such a nice proportion
that I didn't notice, and you were saying like,
- But like I didn't notice the weight gain at all.
My old denim shorts, I do not fit into, and I was like,
I can't even picture myself like a year ago when I fit into
those shorts, I'm like how am I different?
- Yeah, have you noticed it if you look back on photos,
cause I can, I can see it in my face and in my body.
- I haven't looked back on photos, I'm like too scared to.
- Oh no! - yeah.
I think one of the main things, with kinda like where I'm
at on my body, is that naked, I'm like I look great,
- Ssssss.
I look the same I didn't notice the weight gain at all.
And then, in clothes, I've had to go shopping recently
and I hate shopping and I don't fit into a lot of dresses,
- That used to fit you, that you loved.
- I had a proper cry when I like, tried on a dress and
then couldn't fit into it, I was just like, what has
happened, like my old clothes that used to fit me,
that to me is like proof and evidence in a confrontation
of the weight gain, - yes.
- Where as like, if I just look at my body I don't,
I didn't realise.
- Yeah, it makes it really a measurable.
It's the clothing thing that was my main thing I realised
like, you know the way as women, we're almost taught to
rank ourselves by our fucking dress size.
Everyone's always aiming for that UK size eight, size ten,
so in my head then, everyone will talk about UK 12 plus,
or 14 as like curvy or whatever as a negative thing,
and I, I've been now a size 12 plus-ish for over a year
and like, I'm in a really good place now, so this is where
we're talking about Hannah's kind of at that point where
she's just going through it.
- I'm like, Mel I need your advice.
- Help me, cause it is, it's like so jarring, you're
when you wake up in a body that doesn't really feel like
your body anymore and you only notice that because of like
outside, like the clothing thing, cause your boyfriend
doesn't notice, like your boyfriend loves your body.
- No!
- How are you feeling about adjusting to having a new body
like in your mind, are you like I want to change it
and get back to what I was, or in your mind, are you like,
I kinda would like to just accept where I'm at,
do you know yet or have you decided yet?
- I think I have decided, but like, so at first I
automatically went to, I have to lose the weight, I have
to get back to where I was before, I have to be able to
be able to fit into these clothes because I love these
clothes, and I'll be happier cause I'm not happy right
now because these clothes don't fit me.
And then someone actually tweeted me being like,
go shopping, just buy new clothes that fit you.
- Get new clothes.
- Like I had to buy a few items for this trip, like
bikinis and the shorts and even that I was just like,
oh, like I look the same, and I'm not sad because
- And you're not uncomfortable and
- Yeah, it's like oh, like those size eight shorts
that don't fit me anymore like, at all can't even get
them over my ass, I have my new shorts which are a size
12 and they fit me, and I look just as good in them,
- Yeah, you do, you literally do!
- And so I had to kinda like, be like oh,
- Ha ha, but you look stunning like it's literally
like, it's like your body expands a little bit, all over.
- Yeah, I've gone like outwards everywhere, ha ha.
- But it's like, all these things are like telling
us that we need to not be happy about that kind of
a change and it's like you do, you get to this point
where you're waking up every day, kind of aware of it.
I really like my body right now, and you know we were in
the pool all day yesterday just being children
and I know so many girls who are like even smaller
than me who are terrified of getting in the water in
front of people. - Yeah.
- It's like, it's a legit fear that a lot of people have,
I'm sure people are watching this and sitting at home
going, oh I'm horrible.
- Yeah, when I was at my smallest, I was actually really
ill, and so I lost a lot of weight and so I was at my
lightest but I knew it was unhealthy, and then I like
gained it back, I think I gained like half of it back
and like part of me was like secretly pleased that I didn't
regain all the weight, and I was like, hmm hmm hmm.
- It's like this evil little voice at the back of your
head - yeah!
It's like ooh look, you like got ill and you're skinnier
now, mmm hmm.
- Oh it's such a dangerous mentality isn't it?
- Yeah, there was a certain amount of weight to me in
my head that I was just like, I am never going over that
weight unless I'm pregnant. - Same.
- But the thing is, is that we've talked about this
and your number is different than my number,
- Different yeah. - And so it's like,
- And we're different heights, we have different body
types as well, Hannah's like hourglass, I'm more apple
shaped and stuff.
- What does that even mean?
- The number thing, like I had the same thing, I had this
weight where that was like my, if I ever go over this
weight, I'm in danger zone and I have to get back under it.
- Yeah, I'm way over my marker now, of like what I set.
- Same.
- I'm like way over that now and
I'm definitely not pregnant.
(laughing)
one thing that I do want to change is, exercise,
- Me too.
- So I love exercise, and so I really love sport,
like, but since like being an adult, and having like
work, when I was in school and I was like I do tennis
every Wednesday and I do Capwear every Tuesday, Thursday
and Sunday, whereas now, my life is not like that, I can't
- You have no structure like that.
- Like I can't just be like, oh this is the day that I
do this and so exercise and sport has really like
- Taken a back seat. - Yeah.
And that's a shame cause I know that I will never be able
to restrict my diet, food is one thing that I'm
- Yeah, and don't, this is the thing like it's oh.
- Like, I'm not going down that route, at all.
- It's so difficult, cause I sympathise and empathise
so much where anyone who has to lose a huge amount
of weight for health reasons, because I've been there
I used to be very overweight.
At one point I was semi, borderline underweight,
so this is what I was trying to say to Hannah, it's like,
I wasn't any happier really, in my life I was not a
happier person when I was at that goal weight that I set
myself, like so.
- Yeah yeah, that you've been all the weights in your like,
but my mental health was like, still shit.
- Yes, cause and the food stuff, like I love food,
you love food, me and Hannah, every time we're together
we eat all of the food, for us it's just not an option
to restrict and to cut out food groups and all that crap,
because, and all those things are so temporary, they're
not good for your brain to be walking around all day
thinking about that stuff.
- Where as exercise gives you endorphins
- Exercise, sex, just have more sex.
- Yeah, sex there we go.
If you exercise more and if you do sport, even if your
weight doesn't change or your body doesn't change,
you will feel happier about yourself.
- Absolutely.
- Because of like the mental health benefits of exercise.
- It's proven scientifically.
- Uh huh, I'm away a lot like from this trip, and then
I've got a family holiday, and so I'm kinda like
once I get back, I'm gonna do a big clear out of my
wardrobe and see what I need and then shop, get stuff
that like makes me feel good, so I can be like,
this is my weight now, but then also I did,
I just really need to figure out what I want to do
for exercise, I feel like I might sign up for 10k.
- Oh, I used to love running, yeah I miss that.
- Yeah, I like running, the last 10k I did was like,
maybe a year and a half ago, it was like a Santa fun run.
- Oh, I did the Santy one before in December, I just did
five though and I was like dying at the end of it.
- So since you like gained the weight last summer,
like what happened, like just some little hacks and tips
that you do to like make yourself like feel better about
your new body?
- It sounds really silly, and like you'll have this
with your boyfriend as well, but it's like when you're
in any sexual situations, or whatever like, like
believing the other person when they compliment you,
- Yes!
- You taking compliments that are given, from people
in your life are nice to you, and I think as well, like
positive self talk, which is a very difficult habit
to get into, but just like you were saying about you feel
good when you're naked and stuff, keep doing that, like
keep-
- So I should just be naked
all the time. - All the time, no clothes.
Like, but like yeah focus on the parts about your
body that you like and don't focus so much on the parts
that everyone has things that they don't like about
themselves, like even supermodels.
Going for walks and stuff, start looking after myself
even, not for weight loss, but just like you were saying,
if you exercise you feel better anyway, those things
make me feel a bit better about my body and I follow
body positive role models on the internet,
like I love like Body Posi Panda on Instagram,
- Yes I need to follow her.
- I stopped following all of the people who, like their
whole Instagram is just about looking, like perfect.
It's not about fit shaming or skinny shaming,
or anything like that, it's when you're in a phase of
self comparison I think, it's I think it can
kick off like a negative thing.
- I find it difficult, okay this is like another body
thing that I have, like cause I also recognise that I
have got like an hourglass figure, I've got voluptuous
curves, and I'm - oh yes you do.
- And generally quite slim, like even though I'm bigger,
like I'm still slim. - Teeny.
- But I am only five foot, so I'm really short, and that's
another thing that I'm like massively insecure about because
what it means is that like, I'm squashed.
Me sat down right now, like it goes vagina, belly button,
bottom of my tits and there's like, an inch in between
like each thing, - yeah your body's not long
- I don't have a long body and like that is another thing
that I'm like really insecure about because I'm like,
oh I literally have like no skin in between my belly button
and my boobs, it literally is just like belly button
and boobs, like ha ha.
- But you're pint sized, I love it.
- You should take compliments, but it's hard when like,
I'm like this is what my body looks like to me,
and then even though you're like, it's two sides to the
same coin, I'm like I'm little and I hate it because I'm
squashed and I want a longer body.
In my head I'm like, oh my god I'd be like so beautiful
and so skinny if I was just like four inches taller.
But you're like other side of the coin, you're like
you're tiny and pint sized and it's really cute and like
dadadada. - I love it.
- That's really important to remember as well like,
the stuff that you don't like about yourself, there's
always a flip to it, like there's always a positive that
you can find out of that thing, that someone else will
see that you can't.
- If you have this like longer body that you're talking
about, you would focus on something else.
So it's like reminding yourself of those things,
because nothing anyone else says is gonna make you feel
differently about it, it's a process you have to through,
and time does help it, like you have to adjust.
- It's definitely getting used to the fact I'm like,
oh this is like, my body now.
I managed to go through a small amount of my wardrobe,
like my summer wardrobe before packing for this trip,
but there's a lot of other stuff in my wardrobe.
- Yeah you've a lot of nice clothes as well.
- That I'm like, oh I don't know if I fit into that
anymore and I'm gonna like have to, I'm gonna have to like
confront it and find out and I'm really like, not looking
forward to that, cause I think as long as I keep clothes
that don't fit me in my wardrobe, have to look at them
every day and see them, I think I'll get into the mindset
of like, - when I fit them again?
- Yeah, like one day I'll fit into that again, and I just
have to like, actually just like, get rid of them,
and buy clothes that do fit me so I look at my wardrobe
and I'm like, all of these clothes fit me and I look great
in them.
- I love that attitude, I love that you're not killing
yourself right now to try and get back to what you were,
I love it.
- I just don't see the point, cause every time I've tried
to lose weight, I've just, I've just kept gaining.
What are your last words of wisdom for people who are
maybe struggling with like, body confidence and stuff?
- So you'll have people like me saying to you, you don't
have to fit into a mould, la la la la, and you're not
gonna want to listen to any of those people, because
your brain is the way it is, and so genuinely,
give yourself time to adjust to it, please do not do
any extreme diety type stuff, and follow people online
who put out a lot of positive stuff about their own
body and people who clearly are very comfortable and
happy in their naked body or in their bikini
or in their underwear or whatever, and just surround
yourself with that and accept compliments when you're
given them because you do start to believe it after a while.
- Thanks Melanie.
- You're welcome.
- Thank you guys so much for watching, please give
video thumbs up if you enjoyed and let us know like,
your own body positivity, body confidence tips,
- Tips yes.
- In the comments.
- Cause everyone else can read them.
- And we have done a video over on Melanie's channel
all about the pill, and our experiences on the pill,
so definitely go and check that out and watch it and
subscribe to Mel, don't forget to subscribe to me
cause I make new videos every week,
and I'll see you soon, bye!
- Bye!