-The coronavirus is wreaking havoc on the world
as there is still no vaccine for it, but lately,
scientists have developed antibody tests
that can help determine a safer plan to reopen the country.
I saw a PSA last night that explains
how these antibody tests work. Take a look.
[ Laughter ]
-Well, here's to yet another Zoom happy hour.
Cheers!
-[ Together ] Cheers!
-Mm!
-I love our little get-togethers.
-And I love not having to wear pants for them.
[ Laughter ]
-Well, you know what I don't love?
-What? -Not understanding everything
that's going on with the world today.
-Tell me about it.
-Like, for example, what's all this I'm hearing on the news
about antibodies?
-I'm pretty sure an auntie's body is what you get
when you turn 50. [ Laughter ]
-Not quite.
An antibody is simply a protein that your body develops
to fight a foreign pathogen, like the coronavirus.
-Well, that clears everything up.
I'm gonna go take a hot yoga class at a retirement home.
-No, Margaret. Don't do that.
So, how is an antibody different than a vaccine?
-Well, antibodies are created internally to fight a disease,
while vaccines are created externally
as a preventative treatment.
-Oh! My favorite "treat-mint" is a peppermint patty.
-Focus, Margaret.
So, if I have coronavirus antibodies,
does that mean I'm immune? -Not necessarily.
We don't know yet if they mean you're immune to coronavirus
or if they just provide additional protection.
In fact, doctors still don't know if people can get it twice.
-Oh, I got it twice last night. [ Laughs ]
-Gross.
So, what is the antibody test?
Do I self-swab?
-I self-swabbed twice last night. [ Laughs ]
-I hope you're washing your hands, Margaret.
-[ Chuckles ]
-The antibody test is just a simple blood test that tells you
if the coronavirus has been in your system.
-Great! So I just have to get a test,
and then I'll know if I could be immune.
-Not exactly.
A recent study showed that 3 out of 14 antibody tests
provided unreliable results.
-The tests don't even work?
-I don't work, and I got a $1,200 check.
[ Laughs ] -Send it back, you fool.
So, why even have antibody testing
if it can only inaccurately tell us who's already had it?
-Because once doctors figure out
if the antibodies confer immunity,
then widespread testing can be used to determine
who's least at risk to go back to work.
-If I have the antibodies, I could go back to my normal life?
-[ Scoffs ] I hope so.
I miss being able to brush my teeth. [ Chuckles ]
-Absolutely no one said you should stop
brushing your teeth, Margaret.
So, can we go back to normal if we have antibodies?
-Sadly, no. Experts say until they know more,
we should continue to socially distance.
-My therapist says my husband is socially distant.
-That's "emotionally distant."
So, does having the antibodies do you any good?
-Well, if you have them,
you may qualify to help people who have the virus
by donating convalescent plasma.
-Oh, I saw Convalescent Plasma
open for the Grateful Dead in '76!
-Margaret, I swear to God.
So, should I or shouldn't I get the antibody test?
-Only if you think you're recovering from the virus.
-Oh, I still haven't recovered from injecting all that Lysol.
-What?! Are you insane?
Why would you ever do that?
-Because I couldn't figure out how to inject the sun.
[ Laughter ]
-We're all screwed.
-Mm!
-Brought to you by soap --
We're literally the only thing that's helping.