Let’s not forget that there’s only one candidate in this race that’s under FBI investigation
and that has the potential of going to jail and that’s not Donald Trump.
That’s Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
Public face of the Trump agenda,
the second and current press secretary in the administration,
and the source of Jim Acosta’s nightmares.
ACOSTA: I’m tired of this.
Sarah was born in 1982 to a conservative family in Hope, Arkansas.
Home to the world’s largest watermelons,
skilled saxophonist Bill Clinton,
her brother who reportedly hung a dog at summer camp,
and Sarah’s father - two-time presidential aspirant and bass-God Mike Huckabee.
[Huckabee bass vibes]
Sarah’s first stint in politics came when her bass-playing pastor father ran for senate in 1992.
A ten-year-old Sarah stuffed envelopes,
knocked on doors, and put up yard signs for her dad’s campaign.
But Sarah’s hard work on the trail ended up resulting in nothing but a fulfilling envelope-stuffing experience.
Her father came up short, losing 60% of the vote to real guy named Dale Bumpers.
But in 1996, Mike eventually had his win, becoming the state’s unelected Republican governor.
He was elected to full terms in 1998 and 2002.
It was a gig that had power both over the state and over teenage clubs.
Sarah attended high school in Little Rock- where she was selected as Secretary of the Arkansas Federation of Teenage Republicans.
A member of the group said,
Following graduation, she attended her father’s alma mater: Ouachita Baptist University,
a liberal arts college that focuses “on a love of God and a love of learning.”
She majored in political science with a minor in mass communications.
She was named ‘outstanding senior woman’ and worked on her father’s 2002 re-election campaign as a field coordinator.
The same year, she fought for college students’ voting rights.
As Sarah’s father was up for reelection and her mother was running for secretary of state,
a local judge tossed out over 900 votes from out-of-town students,
including Sarah’s.
Along with the ACLU, and her dad’s encouragement,
Sarah sued her father who was technically the defendant in the case.
She won the battle, giving many students at the Christian conservative school the opportunity to vote for the first time.
Funny enough, the Christian conservative ended up winning.
Upon graduation, Sarah worked for the Department of Education in the George W. Bush administration
and on his reelection campaign in 2004
before moving on to work for her dad’s first of two failed presidential campaigns in 2008.
As a field director on her father’s presidential campaign,
she once bribed a police officer with pies and Chuck Norris after being pulled over.
After picking up 20 pies for the campaign staff, she was pulled over and caught without a license or any form of identification on her.
She explained to the police officer that she was delivering the pies to her famous dad and his buddy Chuck Norris,
who was stumping for him at the time.
Instead of giving Sarah a ticket, the officer asked if he could meet Chuck Norris and bassist Mike Huckabee.
Sarah — along with white privilege, 20 pies, and Chuck Norris leverage — was of course let off the hook.
That recipe won over the officer, but it failed to win over the country.
Huckabee would drop out of his first of two presidential campaigns.
Sometimes even Chuck Norris loses a fight.
[Norris and Huckabee laughing]
In 2008 and 2016, Sarah worked on behalf of her father who said that
homosexuality is a sin,
reportedly advocated for AIDS patients to be quarantined,
and once said he wished he could have said he was transgender in high school so he could shower with girls.
And now Sarah’s working for former steak salesman: Donald J. Trump,
a man who has questioned whether Obama was born in the U.S.,
thinks there were good people on both sides of the white nationalist rally in Charlottesville,
and of course:
TRUMP: If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.
A former Huckabee campaign manager said,
Sarah either really loves the president, or just wants to be considered a daughter so he won’t try and fuck her.
Regardless, she signed on as a senior advisor to Trump’s campaign after her father dropped out of the 2016 race.
She didn’t miss a beat and went to work for her new ‘family member’ right away.
After Trump bragged about grabbing women’s genitals without consent in the notorious Access Hollywood tape,
Sarah went on CNN and said the Christian thing to do would be to accept his apology.
As the press secretary in the administration,
the new Christian thing to do seems to be to ignore the First Amendment.
ACOSTA: The president of the United States should not refer to us as the enemy of the people-
his own daughter acknowledges that.
All I’m asking for you to do, Sarah, is acknowledge that right now and right here.
SANDERS: I appreciate your passion, I share it.
I’ve addressed this question, I’ve addressed my personal feelings.
I’m here to speak on behalf of the president, he’s made his comments clear.
While cardiologists everywhere probably agree,
Sarah believes the president “has a bigger heart than some people give him credit for”
— a heart that is in line with Sarah’s views one hundred percent of the time, according to Sarah.
SANDERS: Look, if there was ever a moment where I wasn’t comfortable doing something, I wouldn’t do it. That’s part of who I am.
Sarah hasn’t felt uncomfortable sticking up for someone who openly endorsed an Alabama senate candidate accused of child molestation
and once referred to African nations as “shithole countries.”
Despite popular belief, she does, in fact, possess the ability to feel uncomfortable because she did one time when a comedian made a joke.
SANDERS: You brought a comedian up to attack my appearance and call me a traitor to my own gender.
If only Sarah’s stance on the president’s words was as strong as her stance on comedian's.