A troubled marriage to a famous rockstar. An untimely loss of a loved one. A dark
childhood tragedy. The passing of a beloved coworker and friend. Valerie
Bertinelli has had a pretty tough life; here are some of the most tragic details.
The dynamic of Eddie Van Halen and Valerie Bertinelli's relationship was typical of many
young Hollywood couples. Their whirlwind romance was riddled with ups and downs,
though the pair lasted longer than many might have expected.
Van Halen and Bertinelli were married for 20 years and had a child together,
before separating then divorcing 6 years later. So, it is no surprise that Bertinelli
was greatly impacted by her ex-husband's death; Van Halen died of cancer at age 65.
Bertinelli spoke out about her grieving journey in an Instagram Live, telling her followers:
"We had some very difficult, very challenging times, but we had some beautiful times too.
And the lovely thing about grief — the gift that it gives you — is that it's
so much easier to remember the beautiful moments,
than the challenging and the difficult moments that you have with that person."
The actor also revealed that she was shamed for grieving Van Halen's death,
even though she was married to him for decades and they shared a child.
In an interview with Today, the actor had this to say:
"It's weird. Grief shame is something I never thought would happen to me.
And I miss him. And I'm allowed to miss him. He was a huge part of my life."
Although the One Day at a Time Star speaks mostly positively about her and Eddie Van
Halen's relationship, she admits the marriage had its tumultuous moments.
"We went through a lot of hell as well. We weren't really good to each other at
a lot of points in our lives because we met so young.”
The pair tied the knot when Van Halen was 26 and Bertinelli 20, so they went through the
struggles young couples typically endure all while living high-profile lives. In her book, Losing It,
Bertinelli discussed the factors that led to the breakup, writing:
"It wasn't one thing or another as much as it was everything together. There was a lot going on:
Ed's fights with [David Lee Roth], Ed's drinking and coke, his obsessive work habits."
Despite toxic moments throughout the relationship, however,
Bertinelli remained on good terms with Van Halen over the years. The two even attended each other's
subsequent weddings and successfully raised son Wolfgang Van Halen together.
Although Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen had a troubled past, they didn't let that get in
the way of their friendship. Bertinelli managed to work through her heartache to maintain a positive
relationship with her ex-husband. She spoke about their deep connection on the Today show, sharing:
"When I think of soul mate, I think of souls that
come here to experience this life on Earth together again and get to a higher place.
I definitely, definitely know that was part of Ed. I loved his soul deeply."
Perhaps it was this undeniable connection that helped the couple settle their differences,
something Bertinelli is seemingly grateful for. Bertinelli said on Today:
"I'm so happy that we were able to come to a beautiful place by the end of his life, and,
um I just, I wish he was still here."
The Hot in Cleveland star also wrote about her post-divorce
relationship with Van Halen in her book, Enough Already. Apparently,
the actor and her ex-husband agreed they needed to stay in each other's lives. Bertinelli wrote:
"The love we have always had for each other proved stronger and
more resilient than anything else. We chose to remain friends and family."
And while they mended their relationship, they ended up having to say goodbye too soon,
a fact that still hasn't settled with Bertinelli yet. She told the Today show
that she has tried to text Van Halen "a few dozen times" since his death.
"Love is just so important to remember. Even when you're going through all of the pain."
While pregnant with Valerie Bertinelli, her mother, Nancy, lost her 17-month-old baby boy.
As a result, the star had to watch her mother grieve as she grew up.
The actor detailed the tragedy in an interview with People, telling the outlet:
"He died in the most horrible way. They were visiting a friends' farm
and he wandered off unsupervised and drank poison out of a bottle that
wasn't supposed to have poison in it. It was a soda pop bottle."
Bertinelli was not informed of her baby brother's passing until later in her life.
Her family kept the death a secret in hopes of protecting their daughter.
In her interview with People, Bertinelli went on to explain that motherhood
allowed her to better understand just how resilient her own mother must have been,
being able to care for a newborn while mourning the loss of a child. Bertinelli told the outlet:
"[My mother] had to keep going and I learned that from her. She had to carry
on. She had a very hard life. She always tried to make the best of everything."
In Hollywood, many women fall victim to the unrealistic expectations placed upon their
appearances — and Valerie Bertinelli was no exception. The actor has opened up about the
struggles she's faced with her body image and food. Bertinelli shared in an interview with ET:
"It's a very toxic relationship and I think that being judged on your size is never OK.
But I learned at a very young age that I was unlovable if I gained weight — and that's a lie."
Bertinelli also took to Instagram to share a video she recorded during a time when she was struggling
with confidence. In it, she explains she began "spiraling" after seeing a photo of herself she
wasn't happy with. She explained to ET how she was able to overcome that moment of hardship:
"I felt myself spiraling and I think that's when we stop
ourselves and start to look at all the beautiful gifts we have in our life."
Over the years, Bertinelli has managed to repair her relationship with food, telling ET,
"I used to just [have] such a difficult relationship with food and I'm not going
to do that anymore. It started off as love and now it's back to love again."
Although the Touched by an Angel actor still has bad days,
she is seemingly on the road to recovery.
"There's always a loving way to look at yourself as opposed to beating yourself up."
In 2009, Valerie Bertinelli's One Day at a Time co-star, Mackenzie Phillips,
sat down with Oprah Winfrey for an interview that shocked the nation. In the interview,
Phillips discussed the sexual abuse she endured at the hands of her own father,
John Phillips of the Mamas & the Papas, and how it led to her drug addiction.
"I felt like I was trying to climb up a cliff. I felt like I was trying to make you believe me."
Although Phillips admitted those closest to her didn't know about the sexual abuse, Bertinelli —
who surprised Phillips during the interview — seemed to feel guilty for not helping her
co-star through those difficult times. According to a story in TV Guide, Bertinelli told Phillips:
"I had no idea what you've been through. I feel regret that I wasn't there for you
as much as I could have been. I was so wrapped up in my own life and my own,
you know, drama of being in my life, because I've dealt with substance
abuse. And so I wasn't paying attention to my sister, and I feel bad for that."
Valerie Bertinelli's son, Wolfgang Van Halen, is taking care of his father's legacy. Wolfgang
played as Van Halen's bassist in the early days of his career before starting his own band,
Mammoth WVH. The rock band was nominated for a 2022 Grammy for their song "Distance,"
which pays tribute to Eddie Van Halen. Wolfgang spoke with the publication
about his reaction to seeing the song's music video for the first time, saying,
"I wanted to show what an amazing father he was,
and not just the guitar player everyone thought. I remember the first time watching
it with my girlfriend, I was sobbing so much I had to hand her the phone."
Luckily, Wolfgang seems to have a strong support system around him.
Aside from his girlfriend, Bertinelli has been with him as well, and she shared
they're mourning Eddie's death together. Bertinelli said in an interview on Today:
"We're doing okay. We spent the holidays together. I'll see him later today.
We've been spending a lot of time together."
While they seem to have always had a close bond,
working through this hard time appears to have solidified their relationship even more.
Valerie Bertinelli has been very open about her battle with body image issues and her relationship
with food. Despite her candidness about these struggles, however, internet trolls have been
quick to take jabs at her physical appearance. Luckily, the TV icon is not afraid to put bullies
in their place. She once posted an Instagram video calling out the users who made these insensitive
comments and explained why rude commenters should be more sympathetic. Bertinelli said in the clip:
"Because when you see somebody who has put some weight on,
my first thought is, 'That person is obviously going through some things.'"
She added that these insults are particularly hurtful to her, because she's been struggling
with her relationship with weight for years. Bertinelli said in the clip:
"But since I haven't been successful with that my whole entire life,
at 61 I'm still dealing with [it]. You think I'm not tired of it, lady? Where's the compassion?."
On The Drew Barrymore Show, Bertinelli spoke about how she's taken on a new outlook for
her body image, despite hateful comments and internal struggles. Bertinelli told the host:
"My body is not what makes me lovable. It's my heart and my mind, and how I treat you."
"Am I leading with kindness? Am I being respectful
to another human being? Am I treating them the way I want to be treated?"
The star seems to be rather resilient after enduring years of public scrutiny.
After Valerie Bertinelli's divorce from her first husband, Eddie Van Halen,
she was able to find love again with Tom Vitale. The two married in 2011 and remained
together for 10 years. There were perhaps signs of trouble from the start, however,
as the couple had difficult relationship histories with past partners. Vitale told AARP:
"Val and I were coming from a tough time and wanting to
move on but didn't want to trust anyone."
The businessman had just gone through a divorce and Bertinelli was still healing
from her past with Van Halen when the two got together. Although neither partner has
spoken publicly about the reason for their split, People reported that Bertinelli listed
"irreconcilable differences" as the cause for separation on legal documents. It is also worth
mentioning that news of this separation came to light a year after Van Halen's passing.
While it is disheartening to learn the actor's second attempt at marriage did not work out,
it seems that there is at least no bad blood between her and Vitale.
They are keeping the split lowkey and are adhering to their original prenuptial agreement.
Betty White's death put millions in a somber mood — but Valerie Bertinelli was among those
who were most impacted by the actor's death. The co-stars worked on the set of Hot in Cleveland
together for years and became close throughout their time on the show. Bertinelli revealed in
a Today interview that the time she spent with White off-camera was particularly memorable.
"My favorite Betty memories are when the four of us — Betty and
Jane and Wendy and I — we would go out to dinner and we would just enjoy ourselves."
It seems White knew all of the best eateries in town because Bertinelli also shared:
"We would usually go to one of Betty's favorite restaurants and
just [be] hanging out with the girls. It was relaxed and she's just so lovely and
so funny and real. [...] She's just one of the kindest people I've ever known."
The Losing It author also paid tribute to her beloved co-star
with a heartfelt Instagram post. Bertinelli wrote in the caption:
"Rest In Peace, sweet Betty. My God, how bright heaven must be right now."
The actress later announced in another Instagram post that she had come together
with the Food Network to re-air two episodes of Valerie's Home Cooking
that featured White, Leeves, and Malick. Bertinelli wrote in part in the caption:
"I'm so happy about this!"
This sweet sentiment shows just how much Bertinelli cared for her dear friend.
If you are struggling with an eating disorder, or know someone who is, help is available. Visit the
National Eating Disorders Association website or contact NEDA's Live Helpline at 1-800-931-2237.
You can also receive 24/7 Crisis Support via text (send NEDA to 741-741).