JESSIE: Before we get into this week's video,
we need to acknowledge:
there's a LOT going on in the world right now.
We're still mourning and protesting the deaths of
George Floyd,
Ahmed Arbery,
Breonna Taylor,
and, sadly, these are just a few of the names
on the too long list of other Black Americans
that have been killed through police brutality.
It's been a difficult few weeks, but
we've been listening, learning, and committing ourselves
to ACTIVELY supporting the Black community..
because all lives CANNOT matter
until Black lives matter.
I also wanted to say thank you to everyone who sent in their donation receipts.
Because of you, we were able to match $10,000
to support Black Lives Matter and other organizations.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
You can find a link to a blog post with more details and resources
in the description box.
I hope that you are all staying safe and healthy
since, not to mention,
we're STILL in the middle of a global pandemic
and that this video brings you a little bit of light and love
during these trying times.
My BIGGEST fear in life..
is spiders...
Just kidding!
It's FREESTYLING!
[horrific scream]
JESSIE: Every time there's a freestyle circle,
or, someone asks me to
"show me some moves!"
I literally FREEZE up!
and then, I exit the situation
Homer Simpson style..
This is all ironic as HECK because..
LOOK WHERE I WORK!
As a Director of Content here at STEEZY,
I work hands on with top-tier instructors
to create the biggest, most diverse library
of the BEST online dance classes in the world!
Any dance thing that anyone could ever want..
we make it all!
So, in theory..
I, of all people,
should be REALLY good at freestyling..
But I'm NOT..
WHY am I not??
You can tell this is coming from the heart
[laughs]
F*** I f***ing suck!
I wanna talk about a few reasons why I suck at it,
and a couple of baby steps I've taken to overcome my insecurities!
HERE's my first problem:
I started dancing by learning choreography.
Generally, we can split WAYS people dance
into two main categories.
I would say that there's choreography
and freestyle.
Choreography is premeditated and mapped out.
It allows you to think about
and carefully craft your movement to the music.
Most performances are choreographed and rehearsed.
Freestyle is unscripted..
It's raw, it's personal,
unfiltered, and relies heavily on YOUR past training
to be able to translate the music ON the spot.
I strictly went down the choreography route!
When I was little, I took classes at local studios and performed at their recitals.
Then, when I got to college,
I joined different dance teams where we would practice the same pieces
over and over again to perform at competitions.
Looking back, it's no surprise that I gravitated towards choreography.
I am 1000% a private creator.
I like to make my mistakes and decisions BEHIND closed doors
and THEN shift to a big audience exactly the way I wanted.
Like right now! THIS is scripted!
Even the line I'm saying right no–
this VERY lin–
I WROTE it ahead of time!
And, honestly? I'm really good at picking up choreography!
I spent more than 10 years doing it!
So, it's still really weird to feel like I'm a bad dancer because
I'm not comfortable freestyling..
But, once I identified that I simply don't have the experience
in this completely different approach to dance,
I started to feel better!
It also blew my mind to hear my friends, who are primarily freestylers,
talk about how much THEY struggle with choreography!
So, that discomfort you feel?
You're REALLY not alone.
Now here's my second problem:
Imaginary people judging me..
You all know and love my STEEZY counterpart, Claydohboon,
and you probably also know what a phenomenal freestyler he is.
So Clay used to hold these freestyle sessions after work
at STEEZY where he would invite his dopest dancer friends.
One time, he asked me if I wanted to come,
and I was like
"Thanks! But–"
"f*** no!"
No, seriously Clay, thank you for always including me,
but I'm.. just not ready.
I can't even imagine how EXPOSED I would feel..
Everyone whispering to each other..
"Why does she suck?
"Isn't that Jessie from STEEZY??"
"Yeah, isn't she supposed to be really good or something??"
To which, I would have to reply
"YES! But I'm NEW to this and I'm INSECURE!"
Granted, NO one actually cares if I suck!
Literally EVERY single dancer I've met is SO nice and encouraging!
BUT in my head?!
They're JUDGING me..
and that's REALLY hard to get over.
So, I started hosting my OWN sessions with my closest friends
who already know that I suck and that I'm trying to improve..
I tried my hardest to make fear of judgement a non-issue..
I asked my friends for songs that they like and prepared a playlist ahead of time
and I let them know that, if we form a circle,
PLEASE don't pressure anyone to "go in,"
because that is my
"worst nightmare."
My goal was to create an entry point where I could just start to feel comfortable
dancing in front of other people!
My point is that if existing ways of freestyling aren't working for you,
then YOU have the power to create new ways that DO work..
THAT way, you're not paralyzed by just the idea of freestyling!
Give this video a thumbs up if you agree!
So after ALL this time and work,
I'm FINALLY..
still in the process of working on it..!
And.. I will ALWAYS be because the process never really ends!
If YOU share my insecurity around freestyling,
know that it's POSSIBLE to work on it,
and I urge you to train WITH me!
I'm taking some foundational classes on STEEZY Studio
and, I gotta say, even just one class a day has made me so much more confident already!
AND I'm gonna be more involved in the local freestyle scene!
What I REALLY want is to feel the heart and soul that dance is made of
from the dancers around me!
So let's do this together!
And eventually battle Clay..
Just kidding..!
[laughs]
..or am I?
Or AM I..?
[blows hair out of face]
Now, why are YOU so scared of freestyling?
And what are some things that you're going to do to overcome that fear?
I would LOVE to read your stories, so please share in the comments below!
We release new videos every single week
so, subscribe to STEEZY's YouTube channel and continue your dance journey with us!
Thank you, as always, for watching
and I'll see you soon!
[Earney cheering in background]