Welcome to our Mother's Day show.
Yay, today the audience is full of first-time moms,
and for the first time this year,
we have first-time dads, surrogates,
and adoptive parents in the audience.
Yay.
There are all different kinds of families.
We want to celebrate them all.
I wish you could be here in the studio.
This is one of my favorite shows,
so I'm really bummed, because I love
having all the pregnant women in here,
and seeing you dancing when you're pregnant.
And it's exciting because the baby might fall out.
So exciting.
But I'm glad you're here virtually,
and it's good that you're home because you
know where your bathroom is.
That's important I guess.
Boy, you're expecting during a pandemic.
While some people were baking a banana bread,
you were putting a bun in the oven.
I guess the pandemic wasn't stressful enough for you,
you decided to add another human into the mix.
I hope you like them because they're
going to be living with you for a long, long time.
So I can only see your faces.
Hopefully someone is at the other end massaging your feet,
because the only thing that gets bigger than your boobs
during pregnancy are your ankles, so I hear.
I am not going to tell you that having newborn
is hard, even though I've heard it's hard.
I've heard it's so, so, so hard.
So hard.
I won't mention it because it's too late,
you know, no going back now.
You're in it.
So me telling you how hard it is it's not
going to help you right now, so I'm not
going to say anything about how hard it is to have a newborn.
Because it's hard.
So mums the word.
Nothing.
A lot of you been working from home,
and no one has seen you for a year and a half,
and now you're going to show up with a baby.
It's like in the old days when they would send pregnant ladies
away to have their babies in a convent,
but your version is a lot better.
Unless you want to have a baby in a convent,
I'm not judging you.
I'm not a mother.
I've never been pregnant, so I've always
been able to see my toes.
But I have a mother, and I know mothers, so I get the gist.
It's incredible.
You're bringing new life unto this planet,
and it'll be like a love that you've never ever known
in your life, even though it's going
to be hard, hard, so hard.