BILLIE: [Breathing sounds]
CRIS: Keep breathing! You're gonna be fine, Billie, just push through.
BILLIE: You got this.
You've got this.
C: Just breathe in and out.
C: You're doing great.
C: And voila! You've done it.
CRIS: Alright! Well done, Billie!
C: Let's round off the tour.
B: Sorry. Thank you, rather. Thanks for the breathing thing.
C: Oh, you're cute! And you're great with kids. You're gonna be a real asset for...
[Sings] The place where dreams come true! Happy Playland!
[Spoken] The Wellington branch.
You think so?
I know so!
[Sings] Oh, it seems like your head is screwed on straight to me. You've got passion drive and energy.
And a winning personality.
It's clear. I think it's gonna be happy here.
B: [Sings] I think you're talking me up a bit too much!
C: Oh, don't be so down on yourself! It's lovely to have you around.
I know Zara thinks so too.
B: You do?
C: But I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you!
So you've seen the jungle gym, the main attraction.
The nets are patchy, so limbs get caught, and sometimes kids fall through.
But don't worry, you'll learn to catch them.
B: But what if I don't and they die and their parents sue me?
C: You won't, it'll be fine. We've only had one serious injury
Well, at least recently.
C: So, there's the blow-up slide, there's not much to it.
But keep an eye on the ballpit.
In case kids try to bury their friends alive!
B: Does that often happen?
C: More often than you'd imagine
But kids don't need to breathe for like three minutes, plenty of time to intervene before they're finished.
B: I don't know if I'm cut out for this.
I don't know if my nerves can take the hits.
And my spacial awareness is...
And I'm slow as molasses..
Maybe I should quit while I'm a-
C: Hey now, I know it's a lot to take in.
Just give yourself a chance, you'll find that once you learn the dance it'll be just fine.
C: So, finally! Behold the blessed break room, our sacred place of refuge
From kids, and parents, that don't behave.
A broken dishwasher, microwave, anyway!
Welcome to the land of happy play, my dear. I think you're gonna be happy here.
B: [Spoken] I'll do my best.
You mentioned the dishwasher's broken?
C: [Spoken] I might have put my takeout through a washing cycle.
B: How'd you manage that?
C: I don't know!
Oh! And before I forget,
Don't eat the lollies, they're for the kids. I learnt that the hard way.
Do you have an Instagram?
B: No.
C: Mmm. Shame. Do you want mine?
Do you want mine?
ZARA: She doesn't want your Instagram, Cris.
C: Zara! Shouldn't you be at the front desk?
Z: Sheelah's waiting on the phone for you.
C: She's not canceling my leave, is she? I'm all booked for Queenstown! She isn't, is she?
Z: How should I know? The boss is waiting!
C: Alright, um...
Can you finish up telling Billie about cleaning up duties? Don't get into too much trouble, you hear me?
C: Oh, it's Cristagram. 1, 2, 3. On Insta. Okay.
I'm watching you!
Z: [Sings] Hey.
B: Hi.
Z: Your first day.
B: Yeah.
Z: How's it going for ya?
B: Not much to say so far. Cris is showing me around.
Is she always this...
Z: Yep. Always.
Is she getting you down?
B: Oh, no she's fine
for now...
And you're fine too, so...
I mean, you're nice!
Z: Right.
B: I mean...
It's going alright.
Z: So I don't know what Cris has told you about the chore roster already, but would you mind cleaning the microwave?
B: Um...
Is there always a tiny cat living in the desolate wasteland?
Z: It's Cris's. She calls it fiddle cat. Chuck it here?
I figure if Cris won't clean the microwave, we're allowed a little revenge.
Don't worry. I trust you.
B: Um. I'd be... I'm happy to clean the microwave.
Z: Perfect. Do you want to see my favourite spot?
Z: So, if you're an actor, what are you doing here?
You're gorgeous, you must have tons of roles lined up.
B: [laughs]
Yeah.
Oh, no. I'm not. I mean, I am!
I, uh... I don't. I don't have any other roles at the moment.
B: Well, paid roles.
"It's not a real job if it doesn't pay the bills, Billie!"
But this is a great place to start! I'm really keen to get my teeth into Papura Pukeko, actually.
Like, it's something.
Z: It's a kids mascot.
B: I think we should make her a bit more true to life!
I mean, she's a bit cheeky, yeah? She might steal a lolly from a kids hand?
Z: That's really more Kewa the Kiwi's schtick.
So. Why here then?
Z: Why am I working at Happy Playland?
Well, I like looking after kids.
I mean, obviously I'd rather be advocating for improving the education system.
But I mean, in the meantime getting paid to look after these kids, it's not bad.
CRIS: Hey guys.
C: Here's the deal.
B: Uh, what's up?
Z: They haven't got you rostered on while you're in Queenstown, have they?
C: Worse.
Z: Things can't possibly be worse than your boss dicking you around?
C: Oh, our boss is one hundred percent dicking us around.
B: Sorry, what's going on?
C: They're shutting us down. We've got six weeks left.
Z: What? No!
They can't, they literally just hired Billie!
C: Exactly the kind of mismanagement that got them into this fix.
Oh - no, offense, Billie.
Z: Well, we'll do promotion. We'll get the place earning money again.
Z: We'll fight this.
C: No! That's it.
Sheela already sold the building.
C: I think we're going to go a supermarket.
C: The slide. The ball pit.
It's going to be replaced by rows and rows of tinned beans.
And Happy Playland will be but a mere memory
in the hearts and minds of the very few children that actually came here.
We should have seen it coming.
People love beans.
BILLIE: Shit. Shit. Shit. Shiiiiit.
[Sings] Why can't I catch a break?
Every move I make is out of time.
I find a new place and it's at the end of it's life.
Well, this sure turned out great.
Why is every choice a mistake?
I meet some new people, maybe friends.
I'll probably never speak to them again.
Well, that depends on me,
But I don't have a lot of faith!
Does it ever get better than this?
Where's my suburban bliss?
Do I ever get a chance to put my feet up?
I'm running just to keep up.
And will I ever get a chance to know you better?
I'm sure I'll think about it, but somehow I doubt it,
Even though there's nothing stopping me but fear.
What a shame that it's about to disappear!
I was starting to wonder if I could be happy hear.
I guess I'll wait and see.
Z: [Spoken] Hey, are you alright?
B: [Spoken] Alright! Six weeks left. Better make most of it!