- Hi, music time!
Mommy and I came across a Mother Goose book.
- I actually started singing
some nursery rhymes to our children
and I realized they are incredibly violent and terrible.
- Like R rated horror movies, right?
Here's a song Lola learned in French class, ready?
(light upbeat music)
(sings in foreign language)
- You know what that means?
- No.
- It means...
♫ Bird, gentle bird
♫ Bird I am gonna pluck you
♫ I am gonna pluck your head
♫ Oh it's about torturing animals
♫ Torturing animals
♫ Three blind mice
♫ See how they run
♫ They all ran after the farmer's wife
♫ Who cut off their tails with a carving knife
♫ Never seen such a sight in your life
♫ As three blind mice
- That's violent.
(laughter)
- This one's sweet.
♫ Rock-a-bye baby in the tree top
♫ When the wind blows, the cradle will rock
♫ When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall
♫ And down will come baby cradle and all
- I didn't know it was that violent!
- Yeah, it's like a sweet song
to go to sleep about a baby falling out of a tree.
♫ Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
♫ Jack fell down and broke his crown
♫ And Jill came tumbling after
- Does that mean that Jack had a traumatic brain injury?
- (father) He had a TBI
- (mother) Yeah...
- (father) and probably is dealing with some major, like...
- Concussion, memory loss, depression...
- There are some other really random,
grotesque nursery rhymes out there.
So here is the challenge:
you guys have to listen to the song
and tell me whether this is a real nursery rhyme
or a fake nursery rhyme that I wrote.
How does that sound?
- I know a lot of nursery rhymes, so bring it on.
- Okay.
♫ A farmer went riding on his horse
♫ Bumpety, bumpety, bump
♫ His daughter behind him, so rosy and fair
♫ Lumpety, lumpety, lump
♫ A raven cried croak and they all tumbled down
♫ Bumpety, bumpety, bump
♫ The mare broke her knees
♫ And the farmer his crown
♫ Lumpety, lumpety, lump
- You wrote that.
- So, a horse is gonna have to be euthanized
and the dad has a traumatic brain injury?
- Yes.
- You wrote that.
- I wrote that?
- Fake.
- Fake?
I wrote that? Fake?
- That is a real nursery rhyme.
(buzzer plays)
Called "A Farmer Went Riding."
- It's terrible.
- Yeah.
- I feel like the nursery rhyme industry needs...
Needs some help.
♫ Little baby wincelot
♫ Left alone at home
♫ Wife and farmer in the field
♫ Left baby with a bone
♫ The baby gnawed and cried and moaned
♫ Until his knees were red
♫ And mother came in from the field
♫ And slapped him in the head
(laughter)
- You wrote that.
Because here's why:
you had me until "slapped him in the head."
Because a real nursery rhyme would've been like...
Would've been like "tapped him in the crown"
or something like that.
- Right, crown and head are...
Okay, it's too bad.
- You wrote that?
- Yeah.
- I feel like you have a gift.
- Thank you, yeah. I feel like I- Okay, ready?
Here's another one. This is like a lullaby.
♫ Hush little child
♫ In your nighttime gown
♫ To calm you I'll be hanging you upside down
♫ The blood to your head
♫ Will be a quick fix
♫ So mommy and daddy can watch some Netflix
- You definitely, no you wrote the last part.
- And the rest of it was real?
- Yeah.
- You think there was a nursery rhyme
about hanging somebody upside down?
What do you think Mommy?
- You definitely wrote that.
- You wrote the whole thing.
- I think that because, I have to say that was very catchy.
How have I never heard this before?
And then... it yeah.
- Okay alright.
♫ Three princes from London town rode to the countryside
♫ One prince he fell off his horse
♫ He broke his leg and died
♫ Another prince so full of thirst
♫ He fainted by a tree
♫ The final prince took all their things
♫ The final prince stole all their rings
♫ The final prince became the king
♫ And ruled happily
- Three princes...
- I feel like it could be either one.
- Basically like robbed each other?
- Well no, one of them fell off his horse and died
one of them had dehydration and passed out
and the last one took all of their stuff
and became the king.
So it was about who was about who was gonna be the king.
- That's a real story.
- That's real.
- Penn Charles?
- Real.
- Written by Penn Holderness!
(laughter)
- Really depressing!
- The selfish prince!
- That's horrible!
- You know what, I'm writing a book.
- I know, I feel like Mother Goose step aside!
What are some of your favorite nursery rhymes
and what nursery rhymes...
- ...Do you wanna make up?
- Do you wanna make up?
- It has to have death.
- Blood, crowns...
- And child abuse.
- Child abuse.
- Heres another one!
- Gross negligence.
Yay!
Okay, good job guys.
- Subscribe!