-Are you swallowing them whole? You're eating them so fast.
Are they even touching your tongue?
-Yes. -Brownies, is it?
Hm. Pastry cubes made of sugar and fat?
No, thank you, I'll stick with my jerky.
-So why'd you come in here?
-To socialize. And inform.
-Ooh, brownies!
I'm taking two so I can parcel them up
and eat them at my leisure later on -- much healthier.
-You're taking two? -Yeah, um,
but one of them is for Toby.
-Yeah, why don't you send that to him in Costa Rica?
-Um, I'm just gonna hand it to him right now.
-Heh, okay, weirdo.
-Why is that -- why is that weird?
-She said she was gonna give it to him right now.
She's probably going to because they sit next to each other.
-Yeah, they used to.
-Toby works here again.
-Oh, can you imagine?
-Oh, no. You don't know. -[ Groans ]
-I don't know. What?
-You should probably just meander back there.
Take a look. See if he's -- see if he's back.
-Hmm, dare I? [ Laughs ]
You know what? I'm going to, for old time's sake.
Great practical joke Jim.
Got me to go to the annex.
-Hi, Micha-- -No! God!
No, God, please, no! No.
No!
Nooo--
Okay, well...
I did not get the job in New York.
But I got the real prize -- domestic bliss.
Jan made me breakfast this morning.
Well, she bought the milk.
It's soy.
This is why I do it.
-[ Snoring ]
-That's what I have to come home to.
[ Sighs ]
She probably won't be up for a few hours.
This is going to be a very good year.
Very good.
Jan is at home. Jim is back.
My protege, Ryan, is at corporate.
Good stuff.
Um, Andy and Dwight are rocking the sales team.
I feel very blessed.
[ Thud, shouts ]
-What about this one? It's kind of badass, right?
Just seems kind of crazy in a way I might need right now.
-I don't know -- oh, that's not...yours.
Stanley just drank OJ out of my mug
and didn't seem to realize that it wasn't his hot coffee,
so the question has to be asked --
is there no limit to what he won't notice?
-What's a seven-letter word for "purse"?
-[ High-pitched voice ] Satchel.
-No, starts with an "H."
-Handbag.
-Hmm, thank you.
-Shh. Shh, shh, shh.
[ Sniggers ]
-Alright, everybody, take a seat.
As you may have heard,
our branch on the planet Jupiter is up 8,000% in sales.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Hold up. That clock is slow.
It is 5:00. I will see you all tomorrow.
-Bye, Stanley, love you.
-So long, Stanley. -Night, everybody.
[ Door opens, closes ]
-Yeah, that's no problem.
-Pam. -Sure. Uh-huh.
-Pam, knock, knock. -[Whispering] I'm on the phone.
-[Whispering] I know you are. Knock, knock.
-[ Normal voice ] You can fax it over.
Yeah, 570...
5-5-5... -[ Normal voice ] 4-9-1...
-...0-1... -...7-4...
-...7-5. -[ Mumbles ]
-0-1-7-5. Thank you.
Bye-bye.
That really makes us look unprofessional.
-They would never know it was me doing it.
Here we go. Knock, knock.
-[ Sighs ]
Who's there?
-Buddha. -Buddha who?
-Buddha this bread for me, won't you?
-[ Both laugh ]
-Great.
-I need something to wipe my hand.
-Yeah, there's -- there's butter on my desk.
-That wasn't helping. It was a classic.
-I got a knock-knock joke.
-No, God. -Okay -- Michael, please.
Please, please. Please.
Please let me. -Alright.
-[ Clears throat ] Knock, knock. -Who's there?
-KGB. -KG--
-[ Russian accent ] We will ask the questions!
-What the hell was that?!
-[ Normal voice ] What are you doing? -What are
-Hey, hey! Stop it. -You like that?
-Stop it. Hey, come on. -You like that?
-What are you doing, man? It's part of a hilarious joke!
-Mine was retribution! What are you doing?
No more knock-knock jokes. That's it.
-Ding, dong.
-Who's there? -KGB.
-Dwight, get the door. -I'm not answering the door.
-Answer the door. -Ding, dong.
-No, way. It's the KGB. -Ding, dong.
-I'm not answering that. -Yes, you're going to.
-You answer it. -I'm not gonna answer.
-I'm not gonna answer. It's the KGB.
-[ Russian accent ] The KGB will wait for no one!
-[ Laughs ]
-It's true.
-So, Phil recruited me to sell these cards,
and now I am recruiting you.
-Who is this guy again? -Don't worry about Phil.
He drives a Corvette. He is doing just fine.
Okay, calling cards are the wave of the future.
These things sell themselves. -Who uses calling cards anymore?
-You know what? That's a nice attitude, Ryan.
I'm just helping you invest in your future, my friend.
-This sounds like a get-rich-quick scheme.
-Yes, thank you. You will get rich quick.
We all will.
-Didn't you use a lot of money on that other investment?
The one from the email. -You know what, Toby?
When the son of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you directly
asking for help, you help!
His father ran the freaking country, okay?
Alright, so, raise your hand if you wanna get rich.
Alright. -No, um...
how is this not a pyramid scheme?
-Alright, let me explain. Again.
Phil has recruited me and another guy.
Now, we are getting three people each.
The more people that get involved,
the more who are investing,
the more money we're all gonna make.
It's not a pyramid scheme. It is a --
It's not even a scheme, per se.
It's...
I have to go make a call.
[ Door opens ]
Coat.
-Michael just rented "The Devil Wears Prada."
He has his Netflix sent here to the office,
and he watches them in pieces when things are slow.
-Steak!
Where's my steak?
-He's a big Meryl Streep fan, so I shouldn't be surprised
that he's identified with her character.
-Get me Armani. -A suit?
-On the phone. -Like, the main company number?
'Cause I'm gonna have to call information.
-Where's Armani? He's on the phone.
Too slow. You are not going to Paris.
I'm so much better than you are.
[ Laughs ]
[ Door opens ]
I owe you an apology.
-You finished the movie.
-Yeah, it was awesome.
Big surprise ending. Won't ruin it for you.
-No, go ahead.
-Meryl Streep is the bad guy. Never see it coming.
Anyway, if I was mean in any way to you, I am sorry.
I just want what's best for you, Manushka.
-Mo Cuishle!
He's watching "Million Dollar Baby."
He's gonna try to kill me.
[ Elevator dings ]
[ The Human Beinz's "Nobody but Me" plays ]
-♪ No-no, no, no, no, no-no-no, no ♪
♪ No, no-no, no, no, no-no ♪
♪ No-no, no, no, no-no, no, no ♪
♪ No-no, no, no-no, no ♪
♪ Nobody can do the ♪ -♪ Shing-a-ling ♪
-♪ Like I do ♪
-♪ Nobody can do the ♪ -♪ Skate ♪
-♪ Like I do ♪
♪ Nobody can do ♪ -♪ Boogaloo ♪
-♪ Like I do ♪
♪ Nobody can do ♪ -♪ Philly ♪
-♪ Like I do ♪
♪ Well, don't you know I go to skate, I do ♪
♪ Ain't nobody doin' it but me ♪
-You're falling behind.
-♪ When I go to Philly, I do ♪
♪ Ain't nobody doin' it but me, babe ♪
♪ Well, let me tell you nobody ♪
-WUPHF.com! -Ryan, we're doing a dance.
-This is how you build a business.
-We're doing a dance.
-This is how you make it in this country.
-♪ Let me tell you nobody ♪ -♪ Nobody ♪
-♪ Nobody ♪ -♪ Nobody ♪
[ Guitar solo ]
[ Ear piece beeping ]
-You find opportunity... -You got Creed.
-...and you jump in front of them.
-You make it so hard to love you sometimes.
-Still behind.
-I said I didn't want to be on the internet!
Go, go, go, go!
-♪ No-no, no, no-no, no-no-no-no ♪
♪ No, no-no, no, no, no-no, no-no, no-no ♪
♪ No-no-no-no, no-no, no, no-no, no ♪
♪ Nobody can do the ♪
-♪ Shing-a-ling ♪ -Streamers!
-♪ Like I do ♪
-♪ Nobody can do the ♪ -♪ Skate ♪
-♪ Like I do ♪
♪ Nobody can do ♪ -♪ Boogaloo ♪
-♪ Like I do ♪
-Dwight! -Dwight! Are you crazy?
-Aah! -♪ Oh, yeah ♪
-♪ Nobody, nobody ♪
♪ Nobody, nobody ♪
♪ Nobody, nobody ♪ -Toby, how'd we do?
-Well, that -- that was better.
[ All cheering ]
-Yes!