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11 ways to deal with toxic people
Everyone encounters toxic people throughout their lives. A toxic person can be anyone
from your coworker, closest friend, or your family member. That is why you need to learn
how to deal with them properly. Here are 11 tips on how to deal with toxic people.
No1: Limit the time you spend around them One of the basic and more important pieces of
advice when it comes to dealing with toxic people is to limit the time you spend with them. It would
be ideal if you could avoid them entirely. But sometimes that is not possible. A toxic person
could be your coworker whom you see every day or a family member. You cannot cut those people out
of your lives completely. But, you can spend less time around them. That would be great for
you. You will limit their negative influence on your life and start feeling a lot better.
No2: Be aware of their destructive traits and patterns
Another useful thing you can do is observe toxic people so you could figure out what
their particular toxic traits are. Maybe they spread malicious gossip. Or they use their sad
life story to guilt you into doing them favors. Once you understand their behavioral patterns,
it will become a lot easier to deal with them. You will understand what they are trying to
achieve and you’ll know what to expect. If you understand a toxic person’s intentions
and reasons, it will be harder for them to get to you. You will easily see through them.
No3: Don’t expect them to change A very bad thing you probably do
is to expect toxic people to change. That sets you up for disappointment from the beginning.
People can indeed change, but they have to be willing to put in the work to do so. And toxic
people are rarely willing to do that. The more likely scenario is that they will always try to
take advantage of you, no matter how good you are trying to be to them. Don’t waste
your time and energy expecting them to change or, even worse, convincing them to change.
No4: Learn to say no Decent people often have trouble
with setting boundaries and saying no when people are being hurtful and crossing the line. But,
that is exactly what toxic people are counting on. They want to push you around. And that is
exactly why you need to learn to say no without feeling guilty. No is a great and
powerful word. It protects you against all the things you are not comfortable with. When you
set boundaries and say no, you are making it clear to toxic people that you are not ok with
the way they treat you. And you shouldn’t feel guilty for taking care of yourself.
No5: Ignore their attention seeking behaviors
One of the prominent traits of toxic people is that they are always craving attention. They
seek validation from other people. And they are prepared to do almost anything to be the
center of attention. They will create dramatic situations or speak loudly and you will have a
hard time interrupting them when they start talking. Everything has to be about them.
But, if you want to deal with them successfully, you should ignore these pleas for attention. If
you don’t, you won’t hear the end of it. They will suffocate you with their endless stories
because they know if you listened once, you may be willing to listen to them again.
No6: Don’t share your secrets with them Toxic people often engage in gossiping,
oversharing personal details, or using personal information to provoke reactions. This is why you
should never share any personal things or secrets with them. Keep your conversations with toxic
people superficial; otherwise, you are very likely to get hurt. A toxic person will use anything they
know about you to manipulate you whenever they want. You can protect yourself by simply being
cautious about the things you share with them. No7: Demand straight answers to your questions
Toxic people are masters of vague answers and useless conversations. They know exactly how
to talk without revealing anything that actually matters. While they are dying to know everything
important about you, they are reluctant to talk about things that are important to them.
They are aware that makes them vulnerable and they don’t like that. The trick you can use is
to ask them closed questions. A question with a yes or no answer will force them
to make their intentions clear, and prevent them from manipulating you or other people.
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No8: Don’t be fooled by their false kindness
Toxic people can be very kind and pleasant on the outside. They may greet you with joy
albeit a little exaggerated. That is how they succeed in their intentions. They are almost
never openly malicious. Their toxicity is hidden behind a façade of kindness and care. This is how
they trick you in the beginning. But, if you know what signs to look for, it won’t take long until
you manage to see their true nature. So, don’t let them fool you with their fake kindness;
that is how they lure you into their web. No9: Seek support from caring people
While dealing with toxic people, another good and healthy thing you can do for yourself is
to seek support from genuinely nice and caring people. They will help you protect yourself from
the harm toxic people can cause. Honest friends don’t let you forget what it feels like to be
loved and cared for. True friendship is one of the rarest and most valuable commodities
you can have in life. Don’t let toxic and untrustworthy people ruin that for you.
No10: Don’t try to please them One mistake people often make when dealing
with toxic people is that they try to please them. Many people who manage to be friends with toxic
people have a "people pleaser" personality. They want to be liked and want to feel like they're
supporting others. Toxic people are well aware of this fact and they have no trouble taking
advantage of it. The problem is you will go to extraordinary lengths to please a toxic person,
but you will never succeed. And you should stop trying. You are not solely responsible for other
people’s feelings and happiness. No11: Don’t explain yourself
As well as there is no need to feel guilty, you also don’t need to explain yourself to anyone.
Especially not to toxic people that make a habit of poking their nose into other people’s lives.
They go as far as to ask you very personal things so you feel the need to explain your relationship
status, living arrangements etc. Resist that need. Nobody has the right to ask you why are you living
alone or why you are in your 40s and don’t have any children. There are some things you should not
explain even to your loved ones let alone to toxic people. Don’t let them convince you otherwise.
Do you have any other tips on how to deal with toxic people? Let us
know in the comment section. We love reading your comments.
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