Hey, I don't know if you know this or not.
But September is International Women's Friendship Month.
[CHEERING]
Apparently Cardi B and her shoes were not aware of that.
[LAUGHTER]
This is the second week of our new season.
I was on vacation all summer.
I wrote a Netflix special.
I saved some gorillas, no biggie.
[APPLAUSE]
I tested out some of my jokes for my special on the gorillas.
They didn't like them.
They were-- sat there and looked at me.
At first, vacation is a lot of fun.
But after a while, it can get boring.
I don't know if you agree.
But after a few days, it's boring.
And I got so bored I almost wrote a book.
[LAUGHTER]
But then I remember I had a TV, so--
yeah, it was so close though.
I was like staring at it.
But I'm one of those people--
I like to work.
I really do because of, what's it called, money.
[LAUGHTER]
It's very good to be back at work.
I love working because I get to be back in the swing of things
after a break.
And I'm very fortunate I get two months off during the summer,
which is a long time.
That's eight weeks or a three Trump lawyers.
So--
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERING]
It's funny because he goes through lawyers.
[LAUGHTER]
So Monday morning I woke up early.
I drove to the office, and I parked in my parking spot.
And I washed up, and I put my gloves on.
And I made a small incision above the belly button,
and then I thought, I'm not a surgeon, you know?
I'm getting out of here.
So I hope that guy's OK.
It's so great being back at work though.
I get to catch up on all my e-mails,
and I get to show off my tan.
And I get to meet my new employees.
And then I get to hear them say, Ellen,
I've worked here for years.
And-- so I mentioned over the summer
I wrote a stand up special for Netflix.
And it's called Relatable, and it comes out
December 18th on Netflix.
And--
[APPLAUSE]
Thank you.
So Netflix asked me to shoot a promo for it.
And so here's the promo I shot.
I got to take this call.
All right.
Yeah, you too.
Well, I didn't even mean that.
I just said it.
Anyway, all right, Bono, I'll talk to you later.
Bye.
Hello?
Hey, Reese.
Hey.
Hey, girl to you, too.
Yeah, oh, thanks for asking.
It's December 18th on Netflix.
It's called Relatable.
Yeah, yeah.
No, thanks, girl.
No, you're hilarious.
You're hilarious.
You are.
Yeah, oh, I've got to take this call.
All right, see you later.
Hello?
Hey, Barack.
Hey.
And hey, girl to you, too.
Oh, Michelle told you about the Netflix special.
I love her so much.
It's December 18th.
It's called Relatable.
Yeah.
Yeah, I-- well, thanks.
I hope so.
I think-- yeah, OK.
Yeah, I've got to take another call.
OK, bye.
Hello?
Oprah!
Yeah, December 18th.
[APPLAUSE]
Because it's called Relatable, and then I'm talking to them.
So usually when I film something, I shoot something,
I usually just do one take and that's all I need.
But in this instance, the promo was--
I shot the first one, and I wasn't really talking
to people.
I don't know if you know that.
But I was pretending.
I was acting.
I was a thespian.
And-- thes-- and so I was pretending.
And I was using my real phone.
And this happened on the first take.
Hello?
Hi, Reese.
Hey.
Hey, girl to you, too.
Thanks for asking.
It's December 18th.
Yeah, Netflix.
It's called Relatable.
Thanks, girl.
Yeah.
You're hilarious.
No, you are.
[PHONE RINGING]
Oh, Jesus.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERING]
I didn't turn it off.
That was my mistake.
I didn't turn it off.