-It's great to see you. I don't get to see you enough.
-I know. I should be on your TV show more.
-Yeah, yeah. Whenever you want, please.
-It's on you. -I want to -- I want to --
Yeah, I guess it is. -Yeah.
-There's lots to talk about, but I do want to say congrats
on -- I know you did a sequel to "Zombieland."
-Yes, yes, yes. -And all the fans are buzzing.
Congrats. [ Cheers and applause ]
Hopefully we'll have you back when that comes out in...
-Yeah. -...in October.
-Okay, great. Then we'll be even.
-How's Woody Harrelson? Is he -- -He's the best.
He's, like, exactly what you would expect.
Like, an amazing fun, nice, curious person.
-You've done a bunch of films with him.
-Yeah, we did, like, four movies together.
You know, he's really like -- he's really like
a borscht belt comic, but in the body of somebody from Texas.
[ Laughter ] And so I think that's why
he likes me 'cause he, like, loves, like, nerdy Jewish jokes,
basically. [ Laughter ]
But he's just like attractive and has a twang.
And so we're like -- We can't, like, figure out,
you know, who he is. -But doesn't he --
doesn't he introduce people to, like, famous friends of his
and, like, hook people up? -Yeah.
-And he's, like, good at that. He's gifted.
-Yes, like, your day that you described in England with,
like, Paul -- he knows all of those people.
In fact, on the first "Zombieland" --
like, the last day of filming he said to Emma Stone,
who's in the movie, "You know who you'd be great friends with?
Paul McCartney." And she was like,
"Oh, cool. Thanks. Yeah. We should all hang out."
[ Laughter ]
And I was, like, sitting in the car thinking like,
"How does he know I would not like Paul McCartney?"
[ Laughter ] And I mean, and I don't.
I mean, I don't. -You don't?
-No, no. I never got their music.
-No, no, of course. [ Laughter ]
If course. -Of course, of course.
-I love The Beatles. Yeah, we love Paul McCartney.
-Obviously even if I didn't like -- Yeah, of course.
Even if I didn't like The Beatles, he's English.
-Who did he introduce you to? -Oh, so, you know he's like,
"Jesse, you should meet my friend Oren Moverman."
I was like, "Is he in The Beatles, too?"
He's like "No, no, no, no. [ Laughter ]
He's a writer no one ever heard of
who sits alone and he's depressed like you."
I said, "oh, okay. Great." [ Laughter ]
Like, anytime he goes to, like, a rock concert or something,
takes Emma.
If he's going to, like, a bar mitzvah, takes me.
[ Laughter ] -That's very thoughtful of him.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. -I want to --
I want to talk about your new film.
This is a very cool take on, I guess an action movie,
or I guess so. It's called "The Art of Self-Defense."
-Yeah. -And it's like a cool take
on a sports movie. -Yeah, kind of.
It, like, takes like, the sports movie genre and kind of, like,
twists it on its head to be like a brilliant satire
of, like, masculinity.
So, like, my character is this kind of, like, meek,
timid guy who gets attacked on the street.
So I sign up for this karate class to learn self-defense.
And then the movie just turns into this bizarre satire
on, like, cults and the absurdity of, like,
you know, crazed masculinity.
-Do you -- Do you know karate at all?
Did you have to learn it for the role?
-Like, everything you see in the movie is, like,
the very extent of what I know. [ Laughter ]
Which is to say, no, I'm not good at it.
-Yeah, no. [ Laughter ]
But you have to look, like, a little bit like you know
what you're doing? Right? Kind of?
Well, I guess you're learning in the movie.
-I'm like a yellow belt. And, like, I had, like,
three weeks of intense training with, like,
one of the best martial artists in the world.
This woman, Mindy Kelly.
And it was, like, stressful
because she was trying to, like, train me to be great like her,
which I don't know how she didn't realize I would never,
you know, be good even. [ Laughter ]
And by the end of the training, I just said to her, you know,
"Listen, I'm a yellow belt.
I don't have to be good in this movie at all."
And then she was like, "Okay, okay, that's fine."
So we stopped. -Yeah.
-Then I finally got a break. [ Laughter ]
-You got -- but everyone else, it's great.
And if seen -- if you've seen your scenes in the movie,
you look like you know what you're doing?
-Yes, I do. I do, I do.
-And you have your own action figure.
I don't know if you know this. -I -- they told me,
"You're gonna have an action figure."
I said, "This is amazing."
So, like, every young boy in America
is gonna have an action figure of me.
And they said, "No, no, no. We're making 10."
[ Laughter ]
I said like "10? 10? How do you know?"
And they were like, "Well, we -- we're actually aiming high.
We gauged the interest, and we think 10 is enough."
[ Laughter ] -You think --
"We did the research." -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-"We're hoping we can sell 10 of them."
-Yeah, exactly. -Well, I happen to have
one of them right here. -I've actually not seen it.
-You have not seen this?
You guys want to see the action figure?
[ Cheers and applause ]
Quest, drum roll please. Drum roll.
-Yes. [ Drum roll ]
-"The Art of Self-Defense."
Here's Jesse Eisenberg's action figure.
Wow.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
-Can I see it? -That's for real, man.
-This is amazing. -That's unbelievable, right?
-Yeah, that's really -- we actually -- we weigh the same.
Yeah. -Yeah, we weigh --
[ Laughter ] -You know what made me laugh?
It says -- -What?
-"With fists --
fist kicking and foot punching action."
-Yes, like the bare minimum of action.
-Yeah. But it has action there. -Yeah.
-Yeah, no, it's not gonna do those things.
[ Laughter ] Yeah, it's this, like,
cool small company, Death By -- Death by Toys.
-Yeah. -And they make, like,
limited batch action figures.
-That's one of 10 action figures.
-Yeah. -That's you, buddy.
-Now there's only 9 left, sorry. -I mean --
[ Laughter ] -It does look --
I mean, can we -- -Yeah.
-Do we have a shot of it? -Uncanny. It's uncanny.
-It's unbelievable. [ Laughter ]
-Yeah. -That is amazing.
-Yeah. [ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah. -Congratulations.
-Thank you, so much. -That's a big deal.