[music]
This week's Music Monday is the 1 Year Anniversary.
Yay! It's so scary!
I can't believe it's already been one year!
So today we're gonna review Music videos that we want to review
Starting with UV!
DUH NUH DUH NUH ITAEWON!
[music]
Let's be honest here: crappy CGI Tigers,
Horrible shoddy sets, bad costumes, horrible hair.
This is the greatest video EVER CREATED.
Why didn't I think of it? WHY?!?!?!
This song is so freaking addictive that we were singing it for months,
In our videos, in public, in our showers, in our sleep,
non stop. Itaewon Freedom, Duh Nuh Duh Nuh.
And the video is unfathomably awesome.
Take all the best dances of Super Junior,
wrap them up in all of Big Bang's fashion sense,
wrap THAT up in all of 2PM's sexiness,
Drizzle that with some U-kiss,
with some Mordney, with some B2ST and B1A4
and you wouldn't even have one tenth of the awesomeness of this video,
That's how epic this is.
And, as you all know, Face Arousal Raunchy Thrusting
is a very critical part to Kpop Music Videos.
We've seen SS501, Seungri, and MBLAQ, all Face Arouse and Raunchy Thrust,
but none of it is nearly as epic as what you see in this video.
Rubbing your own lips? That's old news, son.
UV is so sexy that they rub each other's faces. Right on the face!
And yes, we've all seen raunchy thrusting in various Kpop videos,
but that was all child's play.
JYP's raunchy thrusting is so epic, and so powerful,
they had to censor out his crotch.
I mean really. Have you ever seen a Kpop guy's crotch censored out?
No. Itaewon Freedom -1, all other Kpop videos - 0
Really, it's hard to think of what Kpop can do
to overcome the giant shadow of awesomeness that Itaewon Freedom has cast upon them all.
Anyways, our favorite part of this whole video is that even though this was made in 2011,
it's set in the 80s in a super hilarious and perfect way.
I always wonder, in the year 2040, how will other people make fun of our generation?
[Future Kpop Music Monday Music!]
Hey Simontron
Yes Martinatron
Who am I: I am apologetic, I am apologetic, I am apologetic.
HAHAHA. Whoever thought that 13 would be a good number for a boy band?
The perfect number is clearly 127.
Oh Topotrong, you make my circuitboards overheat.
Hey Martinatron
Yes Simontron
Hey who am I:
There is a glass panel device between me and the female robot that I desire.
I will now commence to lower that glass pane device.
I request that you maintain that glass pane device between us.
It protects me from you and your creepiness.
What is wrong with your peripheral?
She seems to be corrupted. Her social media software is inoperational.
HAAAAAA
Simontron. Simontron. Oh no!
He is infected with the Kanye virus.
The second video that we want to review has a very special place in our hearts,
it's Xiah Junsu's "Intoxication"
Is that how you pronounce his name?
I don't know. It's an X. How do you pronounce an X?
CSIAH. CSSSS
To be honest, I totally hated this song at first.
But Martina played it on loop and giggled like a schoolgirl every time she heard it,
and eventually I got infected by the Intoxication.
Technically, this isn't really Kpop, because it's sung in Japanese and English
and it was released in Japan, but Xiah is Korean so I consider this Kpop.
Let me say this about the video: holy banworthy Batman!
I can fully understand why this was not released in Korea.
This video has some of the raunchiest thrusting
and some of the sexiest lyrics which were supposedly written by Xiah himself,
All I know about the lyrics is this:
as soon as pen touched paper,
Xiah released a sexy cloud of naughtiness that infected all of Asia.
Squeege you baby. Let me feel...
Ooooh!
Bananas!
Yeah, that's good.
Ooooh!
What was that?
I just got the most horrible foreboding ban-shiver!
TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT. HAY HAY HAY!
BUHHUHUHUHUHUHUh
What is this tingle emanating from the depths of my groin?!
We must prepare!
Give me the biggest banstamp available!
And the freshest blood of 15 virgin bunnies!
Stroke you like an arpareggio!
OH OH!
Oh back foul beast!
You shall not pass!
Oh! What is that horrible feeling? Brrgghhh!
On second thought, I think I'll just release this in Japan.
Only they can appreciate the true spirit of true nastiness!
That's nice.
Yes my faithful steed! We have weathered the storm,
but I feel that it's only the beginning.
Winter is coming.
Bubble Bubble Bubble Pop.
Bubble Bubble POP POP!
So, for those of you who haven't seen the video yet,
how have you been living up to now?
Junsu and his dance crew do some epic-ly raunchy and thrusty dance moves
in what looks to be a museum.
I can only presume that this made some very board grandmas very happy.
So, Sir Spudgy donated these spoons when he was out fighting in the war,
Next, let's head over to the antiquing room.
Where we can find some...
oh merciful cupcakes!
Them janitors are getting frisky in there!
Oh yeah! That's good!
You guise can finish the tour here. I'll be right back.
Oh yeah: Junsu and his dance crew brought cleaning to a whole new level.
He polishes the ground with his floor grinding
and he steams those windows clean with his mini-striptease.
and when he's done with that, he polishes himself. With his hands.
Seriously. He touches himself. A lot.
I mean, like, a lot a lot a lot.
Like that golddust room which is pretty much just dedicated to him touching himself.
Like his ears and his face and his hands and his hat,
it's like a lot of self touching going on there.
You think Hyuna's "Bubble Pop" was bad?
Junus makes Bubble Pop look like High School Musical.
So, in the spirit of sexiness,
get ready for Simon to ruin another dance for you.
From the chest to groin rub.
Oooh you so nasty!
To the buttefly groin.
Ooooh yeah that's so nasty!
To the airkick bunny hump.
Oh yeah! Hold my thighs while I shake my junk at you.
MMM!
I hurt my thigh.
[mumbles]
[music]
Last week asked you who made the better savior:
the guy from "I Remember" or the guy from "Sign"
and the winner was the guy from "I Remember"
which is surprising, because I feel like he went up against
5 terrible police officers
while the guy in "Sign" had his butt kicked by like a thousand different people,
but anyways that's fine mumble mumble mumble.
For this week's showdown we ask you which video you preferred:
UV's "Itaewon Freedom" or Xiah Junsu's "Intoxication"
Leave your votes in the comments, or in our Facebook poll,
and we'll announce the winners next week.
Also thanks to everyone who requested these videos for this week's Music Monday.
If there's a video you want to see us do for next week's Kpop Music Monday
head on over to http://www.eatyourkimchi.com/requests
and tell us who we should do a video for.
[gong!]
It's giveaway time! For our one year anniversary special
we'd really like to thank all of our subscribers for supporting us.
So we're giving away lots of Kpop swag
including CDs, Big Bang T-shirts, and
- probably most awesome of all - KPOP SOCKS! YEAH!
For our YouTube subscribers. If you haven't subscribed,
you can do so by clicking the link here,
and then answer the question in the comment section.
Question is: which Kpop Music Monday segment was your favorite and why.
For our blog readers: you can answer the same question
in the comment section of our post. Boom!
For our Facebook fans: answer the same question in the contest thread,
Not on the wall: the contest thread.
Not the wall, the contest thread.
Please do not spam our wall.
For our Twitter followers, all you gotta do is retweet this link. Bam!
For our Tumblr followers, like and reblog this post. Bam!
and we will announce the winners next week.
And lastly, thanks to all of you for supporting us
with your awesome pictures, comments, and messages,
and - most importantly - your sexiness.
If it wasn't for you guise,
we wouldn't be inspired to keep on making these videos,
and Spudgy wouldn't be inspired to dance.
Take it away, Spudgy.
[music]