Ok, don't adjust your monitor. Â It's not you, it's me. Â Well, it's actually my inner
12 year old, which occasionally comes out and dyes my hair a ridiculous color. Â And
today, that color is ... um, super-hero -- super-villan, yeah, super villan red.
And speaking of my inner 12 year old: Â Today, I'm going to talk about porn. Â Well, I'm
actually going to talk about a particular story involving porn. Â It's been sent to
me by a number of people. Â It's apparently - a woman claims she got pregnant from 3D
porn.
The story goes that a white american woman got pregnant, despite that her white, soldier
husband was off in another land at the time, and then she had a black baby. Â As a means
to explain this, she said that it was a 3D porn she had gone to see. Â And her husband
accepted this. Â Because movies are so realistic these days. Â It's like they are thrusting
into your vagina.
So when I first got this story, I thought, there is no way that this is true. Â Because,
first of all, there is no such thing as 3D porn. Â And then I looked it up.
Oh, my God. Â there is 3D porn! Â How did I not know this? Â Why is this the first
I've heard of 3D porn? Â It's like, a window has opened into a whole new world. Â A world
of thrusting penises, coming at my face. Â I'm just gonna ... I'm just gonna close that window,
and walk away. Â And never go near that window again. Â So yeah, there is 3D porn.
But then I thought, there is no way that anyone can be that stupid. Â That stupid to believe
such a stupid stupid lie. Â But then, today, I saw this video and uh, it made me believe
that there may be people that stupid. Â It was an attack ad focused on a republican candidate
for Govenor of Alabama, who apparently believes in evolution. Â And I realized, that not
only do his opponants not understand science and evolution, to the point where they think
it doesn't exist. Â But they also believe that their entire voter base, their electrates,
are also that ignorant. Â And they celebrate this fact in an attack ad.
So I thought, yeah ... maybe, maybe people can be that stupid. Â So, I was ready to
accept this one, and then I looked it into a little bit, and actually it turns out that
this article comes form a Brazillian website, that's kind of like the Onion, but in Portequese.
Â So it's just a completely made-up story, and of course as Mark Twain said, "That a
lie can travel half-way around the world, while the truth is still putting on its shoes."
Â So, we all think it's true, while the Brazilians are now laughing at how stupid
we are, for a different reason. Â So, you know, in conclusion, yes there is such thing
as 3D porn, yes people are that stupid, but no -- 3D movies probably cannot get you pregnant,
but just to be sure, you should probably wear a hair net the next time you watch Avatar.