hey guys today's video is gonna be a
little bit different than my other
videos mostly because I actually have
something substantial to talk about so I
recently got a lot of requests on tumblr
to do this video there's really no
casual way to just waltz into this topic
so I should probably just say it
shouldn't I
I should just I should just say alright
there's no one there movie magic
um um um I don't know how to say it I
told there's still going there mmm that
part probably shouldn't go in you guys
are gonna think I'm crazy just kidding
you ready do I'm about to answer the
most asked question I've ever got in my
entire life and you guys are about to
hear the answer you ready 1 2 3
I'm gay that just happened before
everyone just explodes with either
happiness fury or confusion um that's
what this video is about I'm gonna
explain it what yeah so I figured I
would tell you guys the story of me
finding myself I thought I had a
storyline going down but I didn't I I'm
just improv at all this other than the
fact that I don't care who knows and I
figured you guys would want to know this
the reason I'm doing this is because
I've spent a lot of time in the past
watching other youtubers that were gay
and I feel like it helped me a lot so
maybe it'll help somebody else so let's
take a little trip backwards and I'll
certain in the beginning after the first
day I dated I never wanted to date a guy
again it was five years and it was rough
and even after that I still tried dating
guys but I just couldn't get it together
I've also always had major girl crushes
this is a normal girls girl crush these
were my girl crushes I loved them my
last boyfriend got me a giant poster of
and Stewart's face for my birthday if
that's not suspicious so up until the
time that I actually acted on the
decision of being with a girl I had a
rather different experience than most
most people contemplate within their own
headspace as to whether or not they want
to be with a girl but for me it was
different because almost two years ago I
posted a love song to a girl and from
then until now I have been surrounded by
nothing but constant do you like girls
please like girls you're totally gay I
think you're gay gay please be gay so to
see that constantly it actually helped a
lot so thank you very much for that
because it's a lot better to have to
come to that realization knowing that
you have all that support behind you so
last year is when I decided I was
actually going to explore my sexuality
and luckily I had a friend who is now a
close friend Brittany Joyal who recently
just came out on YouTube to talk about
it with and I just realized I think
she's the first person I ever told
Brittany you should feel so proud of
you'll fail one night there was a party
at her house and she was with her
girlfriend at the time and I went up to
them and I said can you please take me
to some gay bars so the next weekend
they took me to West Hollywood which if
you don't know about that place it's
pretty gay there crosswalks are painted
rainbow just to give you a preview and
nothing really happened mostly because I
think people can't tell if I'm giving
them the death glare or I want to talk
to them
see looks like I'm gonna kill you
doesn't it I gotta work on that but
after that I started talking to a girl
that was gay and then we hung out so the
first time that we hung out we went to a
party and no more than five minutes into
the party is when she asked me what are
you what are you into what and my answer
was I don't know yet so then she said
would you be mad if I kissed you and I
said no I would not and then she kissed
me and I'm pretty sure that everybody
that is out has this exact same story
and that is that that first kiss it's so
different but it's a great feeling so
after that I was like I think I like
girls mmm-hmm yep I think I do so after
that we hung out more and I went on
dates with other people and I still
wanted to wait before I said anything
and a little bit more in the ways down
the road I said if somebody asks me I'm
gonna say that I'm bisexual
because I was still too afraid to admit
it the only problem with that was that I
just liked girls I wanted to tell my
parents because I knew it would just be
so much easier but because it was so
scary to me I waited to me
it was not that hard for me to actually
hide it the hard part for me was that I
felt like I was lying and I just felt
really uncomfortable knowing that my
family didn't know my rule for myself
was that once I find a girl that I
actually care about I have to tell my
family so recently I found a girl that I
actually care about so I spent a couple
weeks thinking oh my god I gotta tell my
family hey random times like we'd be at
the grocery store and I think I'm just
cool say it I'm just gonna say it right
now and get it over with but I realize
it's not something you can just blurt
out I feel like a lot of people know how
their parents are going to react they
either know my parents are gonna be so
chill with this they don't care or my
parents are gonna kick me out of the
house the thing with me is that I had no
idea what my parents were gonna say and
now is the scary part for me I also come
from a very normal very traditional
Emily so I felt almost as though I was
going to disappoint them and I remember
the exact moment that I was a hundred
percent sure that I was going to tell
them I was out to dinner with my entire
family and under the table I was texting
the girl I liked and I just felt so bad
I looked around and I thought this is
going to ruin my normal family but right
as I was thinking that I saw a couple
walk into the restaurant and it was a
lesbian couple and when I saw them I
thought they do look normal I watched
them and I thought this is OK this is
going to be alright so the day before I
was going to tell my parents I thought
to myself nope I'm doing it today so I
went to go upstairs to tell my mom but
she was on the phone so I came back to
my room so I sat there staring at the
ground trying to figure out exactly what
it was that I was going to say so she
saw me just staring at the ground and
she asked me what was wrong and I said
nothing and that never means nothing she
kept asking me over and over to tell her
what was wrong and that entire time I
was trying so hard but the words just
don't come out yo they don't come out so
about 10 times went around where she
asked me what was wrong and I said nope
no no no and either she caught on or she
didn't but she said I'm gonna go
upstairs and you text me what it is and
I texted her saying I've been trying to
tell you this for awhile but I'm pretty
sure I'm gay and her response was I love
you no matter what so an hour later my
dad came home my dad is very he came
home and she said I will tell him for
you if you want but if he wants to talk
to you you got to talk to him about five
minutes after he had gotten home I hear
him upstairs yelling turns out I have
some cookies downstairs my mom hadn't
said anything yet he just wanted cookies
so about a half an hour later he came
down to my room he walked in and
he said so your mom tells me about you
being happy
[Music]
that's my dad for you guys that's my dad
and he asked me some really awkward
questions about guys not working out -
it's great but he said we love you no
matter what and we just want you to be
happy it was so nice and I don't think
that they know how grateful I am to have
parents that are so understanding like
that so it actually went pretty well so
well but it's probably not that
interesting of a story but like I said I
wanted to tell you guys it because it
might give other people the courage to
tell their parents or to tell their
friends or to tell anybody that they
want this is the most asked question
I've ever got in my entire life
especially from you guys so I figured
you should know anyways bye