Do you want to know what
who think they have all the answers
Stay tuned, and I'm going to tell you what they are.
Hey, so I'm Rebecca Zung, and I'm an attorney,
I've been recognized as a top attorney,
I've written a couple of best-selling books,
"Negotiate Like YOU M.A.T.T.E.R"
and "Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide"
and I help people like you negotiate with narcissists.
Yeah, that's pretty much everybody in the world.
So if you want to have real tips and tricks
on how to get the edge over these people,
then subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell,
and I'm going to tell you how to do it.
Okay, so let's talk about
So, the first one is anything that involves
They can't answer anything that involves the truth.
And here's the weird thing about them,
is that they're pathological liars,
and I think you've probably figured that out already by now.
But what I find really strange about narcissists
is that they will lie about anything,
including things they don't even need to lie about
and including things that are readily verifiable.
It's so strange for me to,
as a person who I would say that integrity
is my love language,
but I don't understand, but I've seen it happen.
I mean, I've seen situations where...
I saw one time where a wife
actually kicked the 14-year-old son out of the house
at like one o'clock in the morning,
'cause she lost her temper on him,
threw all his stuff outside, all out on the lawn,
the husband, soon to be ex-husband,
had to go pick up the son, pick up all his stuff,
gather stuff up off the lawn,
put it in the car at one o'clock in the morning.
And the soon to be ex-wife
then writes an email to the husband saying,
"This is probably for the best,
give everybody a chance to cool down.
You should probably contact the school bus service
so that they know to pick him up over by your house,
and we'll all just take a break."
Next thing you know, she files a motion,
and writes under oath,
that the husband stole the child from him
and basically kidnapped him
and took him without her permission and all this stuff.
When it's like readily verifiable
because of the email that she sent to him that same night.
It's kind of crazy,
but anything that involves the truth
are questions that they can't answer.
Like if you asked her why she did that,
she wouldn't be able to give an answer.
So anything that involves the truth,
anything that involves calling them out on their behavior,
they like to deny deflect it,
project, making sure it's not coming on to them,
and or anything that shows that you know what's going on,
again, part of the truth.
And if you want to know more, by the way,
on what narcissists do, when they get caught in a lie,
you should definitely check out my video
on what happens when you catch a narcissist in a lie,
but they just can't answer any questions
that involve the truth.
So the next thing is,
anything that involves
You know, if you ask them,
who was responsible for creating this amazing party
or coming up with this incredible idea at work
or something like that,
they can’t bring themselves to give credit to anyone else.
If you ask, "What is this person contribute
or what benefit do you get in your life from this person?"
They can't answer it.
Because they live in scarcity mentality.
It really is scarcity mentality at its most extreme.
And as I've said before in my opinion,
narcissists are, there's the pathological ones
that are actually diagnosed
with narcissistic personality disorder,
and it's an actual legit personality disorder.
But I believe that it's a continuum, it's a spectrum.
All of us want to feel seen, heard and know that we matter.
So, there are times when we all feel sort of selfish
or we've all been guilty of behavior
that's not the greatest, right?
But this is like all the time.
These are people that they're so living
in scarcity mentality,
that to give anything to someone else
would mean that somehow they don't exist or they collapse
'cause their sense of self is so fragile.
So anything that involves giving credit to someone else,
it's just something that they can't do,
it's really hard to say
that this person is really great at this
or my life is so much better because of this person
or whatever.
It's really, really hard for them to do that.
Number three is anything involving them
If you ask them questions about their loss
or failing at something, they can't accept it.
I mean, they distort reality.
They have this magical thinking
which is all part of the DSM-5,
which is how they actually diagnose narcissists.
They distort reality, they just live in their own world.
And so anything involving them
being called out as failing at something or losing
is just something
that they can’t have a conversation about.
The fourth thing
is anything involving
They are protecting that with their lives.
I mean, they have an enormous sense of shame actually,
because they have this fragile sense of self
that they're constantly trying to protect,
and they want the world to think that they're this person.
So there's this dichotomy that they're constantly living in
where there's a scared fragile little person
that's hidden somewhere deep inside,
and on the outside, they want you to believe
that they are strong and powerful or confident,
or if it's a covert narcissist,
then it's more like they are a victim maybe
or that they're kind, but there's this underlay of rage.
If you want to know more about covert narcissist,
definitely check out my video
on covert narcissism in relationships.
But you know, that some of the things that you'll see.
And then the next one is anything that involves
because they're not great at interacting with others,
they're not great at maintaining friendships.
If you've seen this by the way,
I want to see agreed in the chat below,
that you've seen this before,
but they they're not great at maintaining close friendships
or intimacy or anything like that.
So they don't want to be asked
about how well they interact with others.
So that's the fifth thing.
Those are the five questions they can't answer.
Anything that involves the truth,
anything that gives credit to anyone else,
anything that involves them failing or losing,
anything involving shame or vulnerability
or anything that involves
how well they interact with others.
So if you do ask them these questions,
what will you see instead?
You'll see vague answers, you'll see gas lighting,
you'll see lying and denying,
and you'll see projection,
you'll see blaming and shaming others.
They're going to want to throw you off the scent
'cause they want you to be uncertain,
they want you to be unstable,
and you will see this, especially in negotiations,
because remember with the narcissist,
you're either for them or you're against them.
So once they know that you're no longer for them,
then they're going to go after you with guns blazing,
you're going to become public enemy number one.
And they want you to be unstable,
they want you to be uncertain,
they want you to think,
they want to believe that you don't see
what's actually going on.
All right?
So, and when the narcissist knows you know,
that's another one of my videos
you should definitely check out.
So those are the questions
that narcissist just, they can't answer.
And if you are dealing with a narcissist,
you know that they can't answer those questions, right?
And make sure if you are negotiating with a narcissist,
that you get my free "Crush my Negotiation" prep worksheet
And if you want to join my free private Facebook group,
you can do that too.
Narcissist Negotiators With Rebecca Zung.
If you liked the video, give it a like, give it a share,
drop me a comment.
Let me know that you agree
that you've seen these things before.
And make sure you subscribe to my channel
and hit that notification bell.
I am so glad that you stopped by,
remember today is a great day
to start negotiating your best life.
And I'll see you in the next video.