Transcriber: Cihan Ekmekçi Reviewer: Leonardo Silva
So, I'm one of those people that like to analyze other people.
I like to observe their facial features, vocal tones, body language
and most of the time I can see through personas,
remove masks and bring truth to light.
Yep, I'm a therapist.
I work in the area of engineering relationships and human development,
and for the past 10 years I've worked with couples to master their potential.
You see, most people think that love is all you need
for a successful relationship.
But I'm here to tell you that it's not.
It's what I'd like to call erotic IQ, but I'll get to that a little bit later.
See, relationships don't come with a manual.
There's no Bachelor's degree of love or master's of marriage.
And, let's face it,
most of us haven't had great examples to go by, either.
Right now, we fall in love, we get married,
and we think we're going to live happily ever after till death do us part.
But it generally doesn't work that way, does it?
We are constantly surrounded by love.
Constantly. It's everywhere we go.
We see it in the movies we watch,
the song lyrics that we listen to, it's everywhere!
The Internet, social media...
So it makes us wish for it, we live for it, we long for it.
So, love is set in our minds to be a certain way.
In effect, we are programmed from childhood,
so that as adults, we hope that it plays out like a Disney movie.
See, if we were Greek, there are seven different types of love.
In Italian, there are over 10 different ways to say it.
In French, over 15, but in English, just one.
We use the same word to describe how we feel towards our partner,
as well as how we feel towards our morning Melbourne latte.
But let's be honest:
the emotions around love are not only temporary,
but can be explained by basic science.
What we call moods or feelings, science calls neurochemicals.
Sexual drive is dopamine and pheromones.
Romantic love is oxytocin and serotonin.
And once attachment kicks in, it's bye-bye sanity.
(Laughter)
So, the future of love isn't looking very promising.
If anything,
the social conditioning of love is now also a global problem.
Fifty percent of marriages are ending in divorce.
Divorce is costing the Australian economy 14 billion dollars a year.
In the US, it's 112 billion dollars a year.
Workplace productivity decreases significantly
when there are problems at home,
that in turn affects the economy.
And those same problems contribute
to what the World Health Organization states
is going to be the leading cause of disability worldwide: depression.
The failure of love in itself is a multibillion-dollar industry.
So, the future isn't looking promising for relationships,
but there is something we can do about it.
So, let me tell you a little bit about erotic IQ.
So, erotic IQ isn't about sex, arousal, excitement, no.
It's intelligence brought into our attitudes, our aptitudes,
our perceptions and projections
around how we think, relate and behave in our relationships.
It's a system, a spectrum of cultivating a relationship,
so that it's at it optimal best.
So how does erotic IQ work?
The foundations lie in reverse-engineering what Jung calls "the shadow,"
and what Reich calls "the body armor."
The shadow is that unconscious, deeper part of yourself,
that still holds onto past memories, resentments, disappointments,
mistakes and failures, that, in turn,
become part of your current attitudes and behaviors in relationships.
So, for example, you may have been in a relationship years ago
that ended, maybe, because of some sort of betrayal.
You think you're over it, it's done and dusted,
but today it still shows up as major trust issues.
The body armor is the physical manifestation
of emotions related to that shadow self,
sometimes appearing as an unexplainable pain,
a psychosomatic symptom
or an emotional blockage.
So, once you've worked through the baggage that you're carrying,
and you're moving your way up the erotic IQ spectrum,
you come to a clean slate, so you can begin again.
Here, you can start to reprogram yourself with new ways of connection
through intimacy and learning new ways of passion and desire for one another,
while still maintaining the safety and the security of your relationship.
And from here, as you progress higher up the erotic IQ spectrum,
you enter into the advanced levels.
Now, these advanced levels on the erotic IQ spectrum
are a type of symbiosis;
it's called the symbiotic flow state.
So when you're in the symbiotic flow state,
neuroscience calls it neuro synchronicity, physics calls it quantum entanglement,
you may call it being on that same wavelength.
Now, this brings your relationship to being at its optimal best,
and when your relationship is at its best,
you're amongst the happiest people in the world.
But what's most exciting is that from here
erotic IQ goes that one step further than flow states,
entering into what's called the plateau experience;
the plateau experience, as coined by Maslow,
and Maslow called it a transcendent state which is always turned on.
So, unlike flow state, when you go in and out of peak and altered states,
when you enter the plateau experience,
your optimal self is maintained and sustained,
and when synchronized in with your partner,
your relationship lifts up to be at its supreme best.
So, the neuroplasticity of the brain means
that identity is not hardwired.
We can take the plunge into mastering this human potential.
We can make a change.
We can evolve our relationships to be at its supreme best.
Erotic IQ is an evolution of love.
This is the future. This is in itself a revolution.
So, let's biohack into our own biotechnology
and bring our relationships to be successful once again.
And let intelligence be the primary core value of your relationship.
Let's do this for ourselves, let's do this for the future generations,
let's do it for the world.
Because erotic IQ has never been as important or as needed as it is today.
(Applause)