Somewhat literally, us humans are split right down the middle, divided by the dichotomy
of our own nature.
On the left side, our brain generally operates out of reason and logic.
And on the right, it generally operates out of emotion and feeling.
Both sides work for their cause and typically, depending on the brain and the situation,
both sides can work together.
But what is most interesting and potentially very problematic is when they do not.
When both sides are unable to find common ground, leaving us, the experiencers of our
brains, hopelessly confused and distressed.
When working together, our logical brain rationalizes our emotions and our emotional brain inspires
our logic.
Often times this can be successful and create great synergy.
But other times, there seems to be no successful bridging between the two.
One example of this that can cause us to feel a sense of deep confusion and alienation from
our self is when our emotions and feelings become so layered and complex that they cannot
be rationalized with or successfully articulated by the logical side of our brain.
When we experience the paradox of feeling two or more conflicting emotions at the same
time.
As strange as it may seem, it is possible to experience two very conflicting feelings
simultaneously.
It is possible to feel both angry with someone for saying something cruel to you but simultaneously
sad that they feel that way about you.
It is possible to feel both excited about a career opportunity but scared of it at the
same time.
It is possible to feel both happy about an amazing moment or memory but also sad that
it is or will soon be gone.
It is possible to love someone for being perfect for you, but simultaneously hate them for
not loving you back.
And each pairing creates its own separate unique feeling, very different from the feeling
of their individual counterparts.
It is like tasting a sweet and sour sauce.
Although there are both sweet ingredients and sour ingredients, the blended flavor is
really neither sweet nor sour.
It is its own separate and unique flavor.
And the blending of our emotions works just the same.
Furthermore, it is possible to feel a mix of several emotions that don’t really distil
down to a this and a that, but rather an array of pushes and pulls and ups and downs in every
which direction, creating a feeling of indescribable numbness that can not even be pinpointed on
a reason for feeling it.
A feeling of confusion, despair, or overwhelm for no apparent reason.
From a logical perspective, how is it possible that we can feel two or more opposing emotions
at the same time?
Simply, it is because we can and because we do.
Life and our emotional experience of it is not always black and white.
And it is not always logically discernable.
There are innumerable shades of emotional grey area.
Some that our logical eye can distinguish.
Some that it cannot.
And when we cannot discern or classify a feeling, what do we do?
Quite naturally, we become confused and overwhelmed.
Our ability to make decisions, changes, or simply understand our self and feel normal
all become impaired.
But we must accept that despite how hard it tries, our brain does not yet fully understand
itself, and therefore neither can we.
As we continue to evolve and learn as a species, perhaps we will be able to better understand
and define the depth of grey area that resides between our left and right self.
Perhaps we will better understand what we feel, why we feel the things we feel, and
how to better articulate and deal with them.
But until then, we must acknowledge and accept that there are things that we cannot control
or understand about our self, and as a result, sometimes we are going to feel confused or
overwhelmed.
Sometimes we are going to feel two or three or however many emotions at once that may
seem as though they don’t make any sense and cannot be sourced for meaning or reason.
But we should not feel alone or abnormal because of this.
And we should not let it dishearten us.
Instead, we should instruct our left-brain to rationalize with the fact that the left-brain
simply cannot always rationalize with everything we feel and experience in life.