Heya playa, do you have a friend that you're super close with?
Someone that you just vibe and connect with,
the two of you just get each other on such a deep and personal level.
The question is why aren't you dating them?
Should you be dating them?
That's what I want to really explore in this video to help you figure out
if that's the right choice you should be making.
There is definitely a line between who are your friends and who you want to date but
sometimes that line can be a bit blurred.
You start to look at a friend in a different way, something about
them just stands out or you start to find out you have feelings that you never had before.
Instinctually, you might be drawn to asking them out but I want you to
ask yourself this deep question, do you feel like the two of you have a genuine
connection with one another that you can build on and date or are you just horny?
There ain't no shame in it, look sometimes your friend just looks really hot that day and just
it flips that switch in your mind to the point where you want to pursue them but
that might be your horniness speaking.
You might just be thinking, wow I want to get with them just for the sake of getting with them.
And I would say that is not a good enough reason to try to transition from friends to dating.
You might be throwing away something that's really valuable to you in that friendship
just for a one-night stand or just one experience with that person.
But if you feel that deeper bond and deeper connection with that person
then it might be worth pursuing.
I'll give you an example, over the years I've had lots of female friends,
and the times I've gone out with them they've gotten all dressed up I thought to myself.
Dang, I know I would.
But then I had a deeper thought and realized you know what it's
really not worth it because I know them on a deep and personal level.
I understand how we connect and how we vibe and I just know that it's not going
to romantically lead to anything that I would really want to build.
It's probably best not to lead every interaction with your raging hormones.
Sometimes you just gotta bop yourself in the head when you're horny and say no.
Plus you gotta think about the bigger picture here.
Are you looking for something serious or more casual?
If it's serious then yeah, if you feel that deeper connection they might be the person to go after
but if it's just something casual that you're pursuing don't go after your friend at any cost.
People always glorify this idea of F buddies like it's a super common thing but the reality
is that your F buddy is probably not going to be your super close friend.
A person that you see and interact with every single day.
It's going to be someone that you have a bit more distance with.
Someone you don't talk to as often.
Someone you only hit up when you want to hit that.
Having a fling with a super close friend only increases
the chance that things are gonna get awkward.
Let's say you pursue it that night, you decide I'm just gonna go for it.
You hook up with them.
Well, the very next day you're asking yourself that question what do I do now?
Do I address it?
Do I not address it?
Do we continue this thing?
Do we let it go?
Do we pretend like it never happened?
You have to understand by pursuing that you're putting that friendship at risk.
Let's say you now have deep feelings for them but they don't feel the same way,
they just viewed it as a one-time casual hookup.
Well, now things are going to be awkward.
Now both of you are not on the same page as to how you want to interact with each other
and that's a real case of getting friend-zoned or
just having deep feelings that aren't reciprocated by that other person.
So if you're gonna make that move you better be bold in how you feel.
You better know what it is that you want with that person going into it because if they don't
agree with you if you're not on that same page it might just be the end of what you know with them.
But despite all that is it possible to you know
hook up with them once in a while and to still maintain a really close friendship?
Absolutely, people do that all the time.
The key piece is really going to be that the two of you are on the same page
as to how you want to move things forward.
Sometimes the best thing you can do when you're in a friendship with someone that
you're deeply attracted to is to not pursue them.
You're thinking bigger about the friendship overall.
You recognize that any kind of whiff of leading into potentially dating them
might ruin everything so you really decide what works best for you and that's the friendship.
But in other cases, beautiful relationships can blossom from deep friendships.
The two of you are just on that same wavelength.
They get you in every which way so why not try to just add the romantic piece to the equation?
All in all, if you're caught in the middle and you're just not sure which direction to pursue,
you just need to stand by what you feel.
If you really like that person and anytime you're around them those romantic feelings
totally overtake any other friendship feelings you have then yeah, take your chance.
It might mean losing your friend but you're standing by how you feel.
Either way though, these situations are pretty complex.
They're not always straightforward and the answer is not always right there in front of you.
Sometimes you have to make a decision and that decision might not work out for you but as long
as you're putting yourself out there and standing by your feelings you're doing the right thing.
If you're someone that might be in the friend zone or just in this ambiguous place of mystery
with someone that you like or are friends with, check out the videos over there on the
side where I'm going to talk about how to maintain a friendship if you like someone.
It is possible, it's not easy, but you can do it.
On that note, I'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.