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- [Instructor] Hey, Psych2Goers
and welcome back to another video.
Thank you so much for your love and support.
Enabling us to send your way another wealth
of everyday psychology.
Let's explore.
Have you ever given someone the silent treatment
or maybe you've been on the receiving end
of someone's silent treatment?
It feels uncomfortable, right?
Stifling even, George Bernard Shaw once said,
"The worst sin to our fellow creatures is not to hate them,
but to be indifferent to them,
that is the essence of inhumanity."
There are many psychological reasons to explain
why you may feel that way,
but even more that shows how harmful
giving someone the cultural there can be.
Many people believe that giving the silent treatment
is a dignified response to an argument, but it's not.
The silent treatment is a form of ostracism.
The perpetrator often deflects, evades, subverts
or rejects your input.
Thus freezing you out completely.
Their withdrawal leaves you feeling confused and hurt
until you eventually get used to it.
According to the professor of psychology
Kipling William at Purdue University,
"It's a form of passive abuse.
It's employed with the intent to punish someone
and thus yields harmful repercussions."
Here are six reasons why the silent treatment can harm you.
Number one, it dehumanizes the other person.
Did you know early civilizations
equated ostracization to death?
Because it was interpreted as exemption from humanity
and even exhaustion from oneself.
We are social beings designed to form
and maintain relationships, social ostracizing
via silent treatment frustrates these relationships.
According to a 1976 study,
treating people as less than human
also tends to dehumanize the perpetrator."
Therefore, being ostracized leads to people
feeling less human and seeing the person alienating them
as less human as well.
Number two, it emotionally manipulates the other person.
If you've been a victim of the silent treatment
have you ever begun to doubt your own understanding
of reality?
Many psychologists classify the silent treatment
as a form of manipulation.
It's a way for the perpetrator to maintain control
over the conversation or argument.
The silent treatment is equivalent
to gaslighting in the sense
that it makes the person receiving the treatment
question what they did wrong
hence, it's a form of emotional abuse.
Number three, it denotes rejection.
Do you hesitate to reach out for their hand?
Does it feel like there's a good chance of being turned away
or even made to feel ashamed of the effort.
During an argument,
it's easy to justify your cold shoulder.
It might seem like a good deescalation tactic
but, in reality it's exacerbating the problem.
The silent treatment serves to deny
partner's basic communicative needs
and therefore the person on the receiving end
may feel rejected
especially if there a physical aspect to the ostracization.
Withholding of physical content
from a spouse or partner can make the partner doubt
the stability of your relationship.
Number four, it instills self-esteem issues.
Have you begun to constantly criticize yourself?
Are you apologizing for every little thing?
A cold shoulder is a very active way of demeaning someone
and telling them that they're worthless
regardless of the intention
it invalidates their opinions, thoughts, and emotions.
This in turn can produce anxiety and reduce self-esteem.
A study from the University of Sydney
shows that, "Repeated ostracization
can lead to the development of depression,
eating disorders and even suicide."
Number five, it produces physical pain.
Do you often feel physical discomfort?
Scientists have shown
that when you experience the silent treatment
the anterior cingulate cortex
a region that distinguishes levels of pain
becomes activated.
As a result of someone's cold shoulder
you may experience digestive issues, headaches
or aches in your back or joints.
And number six, it destroys relationships.
Communication has been called the fuel that keeps the fire
of your relationship burning.
The silent treatment often denotes
an inability to communicate and low emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence lends a relationship
with the sensitivity to figure out
when something is wrong and resolve it
rather than climbing the high horse of the silent treatment.
As a result many of those who perpetrate it
are not aware of its own harm.
Repeated ostracization closes lines of communication
and subsequently destroys a relationship.
Whether you're the receiver or the perpetrator
trying to find a way to talk
is always a good place to start.
when feeling too overwhelmed
or heated during an argument, just cool down
you can say something like, "I don't want to talk right now
but we can discuss this later."
And actually talking to that person later does the trick.
Don't let it be a lip service,
making sure that you keep the lines of communication open
and avoiding using accusatory phrases
can help in talking your problems out.
And we hope we were able to give you insight
into some of the ways the silent treatment can harm you.
Do any of these describe your experiences
or did any of these points describe you?
Leave a comment down below
about your encounter with it if you'd like.
Please feel free to share any thoughts you have as well.
If you found this video helpful
be sure to hit the like button
and share it with those out there
being served in the silent treatment.
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Thanks for watching and we'll see you soon.