Now, Andy.
[Andy] Yeah.
I've something very important to talk
about here at the top of the show.
[Andy] Okay.
Before Jay Pharaoh comes out,
I think you know what I'm talking about.
I think I know too. Ladies and gentlemen,
this is crucially important.
There is a song that's trending right now on TikTOK.
That caught my attention.
Now it's a song that normally probably
wouldn't have caught my attention
but it's by Starboi featuring Dojo Cat.
Not that I don't love those two when they work together
but it's not really my thing.
And they put a song out
that's doing quite well right now.
And it's entitled Dick.
Yes and no.
It's not about the great actor, Richard Harris.
(laughing) Or Nixon.
Or it's not about Nixon.
It's about, as some of you can probably guess a penis.
Dick slang for penis, AKA Dick.
Dick penis, penis dick.
Dick is penis and penis of course cock, but also dick.
Now, the reason I bring all this up is because,
well, the song is absolutely filthy, okay?
But I wanna read you a very important part
of the lyrics that goes,
"Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick"
as you would expect,
"I'm goin' in tonight.
"She actin' like an addict.
"Thicker then Andy Richter."
Yeah.
That's a lyric in the song.
You're called out by name.
Finally Impacting the culture.
Yes.
Finally.
Well, tell us, first of all how do you feel
about being name-checked in the song, Dick?
I mean, I am kind of, you know, it's fun.
to be, being checked,
but I wish that in the song, Dick
that I weren't being name-checked to refer
to the voluptuousness of a woman
which is essentially what they're saying.
They're saying that the woman who's lining up
for the, or, you know, who's anticipating.
What?
Yeah, she say, she's thicker than Andy Richter.
No, I thought the dick was thicker than Andy Richter.
No no.
Wait a minute.
No, no.
Hold on a second.
First of all, what a dick that would be?
No wait a minute, no, no, it's clear.
Here's what I took it to be.
And this is, you should be proud of this,
that a penis with girth is an Andy Richter.
And that's how I think of it.
See, I thought she was saying
She's an addict, meaning she's addicted to dick
and that, and then to further describe her,
she's thicker than Andy Richter.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I have studied this text
Okay.
Quite, quite seriously.
And I've consulted with friends.
Who've also spent a lot of time studying literature,
"them bitches just gotta
"cause I took the gym,
"Give him a job and he gave me a rim."
Gave her something for the tires on his car.
Right.
"It was too long so he gave me a min'"
I think that's a minute of your time.
"How was that possible, give me a Kim."
No idea what's going on there.
"I can't describe it, just give me a pen.
"And why he in ya tummy,
"but windin' my wrist?"
Well, that's open to a lot of interpretation
(Andy laughing)
but I think,
"she actin' like an addict,
"Thicker than Andy Richter.
"I met the boy in the 6 but
"measurements was in the 6.
"I like the side of the pickle.
"I just got Morty and Rick'd uh."
And please let me stress.
All of this sounds better coming from Dojo Cat.
Yes.
This is her milieu.
Yeah. It is not mine,
but I heard this song
and I thought, hey, wait a minute.
If it gets out there in the culture,
that someone with a large unit, so to speak,
is thicker than Andy Richter.
You're, you win?
You win big time.
No, one's gonna ever say whip out that Conan.
Let's see what you got.
(Andy laughing)
You know, no one gonna ever say he cornered me long
into the night.
All right.
I can't ride a horse today cause I was Conan until night.
That's not gonna happen.
Right, right.
None of that's happening.
You, you don't get it.
This is huge for you.
I'm now synonymous with chode.
Yes.
But just listen to some of the song
we're gonna play it right now
with all the beats beeped out
with all the accepts, the crucial part, check out.
♪ Dick, dick, dick, dick ♪
♪ dick, dick, dick ♪
♪ I'm goin' in tonight ♪
♪ She actin' like an addict, uh ♪
♪ Thicker than Andy Richter ♪
Yes, that is huge.
♪ I met the boy in the 6 but ♪
♪ Measurements was in the 6, uh ♪
♪ I like the side of the pickle ♪
♪ I just got 'Morty and Rick'd uh ♪
I, you know what?
I've never been happier for you.
(Andy laughing)