hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're going to learn about the 10 rules of
dating now let's begin number one the 90 minute rule so how long should you spend on a first date
should you waste away the hours talking about everything under the sun or should you cut your
date short before the conversation gets too personal according to relationship experts the
ideal first date is 90 minutes long an hour and a half is more than enough time to get to know
someone you can see their personality and you can enjoy their company and at the end of those
90 minutes you have enough information to make a decision is this the end of the road or will
you be seeing each other again the 90-minute rule also spares you from those nightmarish first dates
you meet up you start talking and you realize oh this person isn't your type but you don't know
how to leave so you're stuck with this person for hours on end that's why experts recommend
a hard 90-minute boundary so before you go on your date tell the other person you have plans
about 90 minutes after your date starts now this boundary serves two purposes if the date's going
badly then it gives you an easy escape but if the date's going well it creates a perfect opportunity
to express your interest in seeing them again so keep your first dates short and sweet if the
two of you have a strong connection then you'll have plenty of time to dive deeper in the future
number two romantic initiative taking the initiative is a tricky subject there are lots
of rules about who should take the initiative and when are guys responsible for the first dates and
who proposes the second date if things go well we have all these jumbled expectations and standards
but here's the truth if you want to connect with someone it's always your responsibility to take
the initiative alright let's say you meet someone online and you want to go on a first date you sit
around waiting for them to ask you out but they never do you wait so long that your connection
fizzles and your plan falls flat so what if you took the initiative instead yeah it's scary to
put yourself out there but you may discover the other person is feeling exactly the same
way people who take action find much more success in the dating world initiative shows confidence
which is an attractive trait all on its own more importantly initiative expresses both interest and
enthusiasm by putting it out there you're telling the other person that they're worth the risk
number three conversational boundaries imagine you just made a romantic connection it's very
early in the relationship but you're imagining what the future might look like you see all this
potential in your new connection and you want to speed up the process you want to get to know them
faster and you want them to get to know you so you start spilling all kinds of private details
about your life in the dating world this is called over sharing when you're dating someone new there
are some subjects you should talk about and some you should always avoid surface level subjects
like jobs hobbies likes and dislikes are all fair game these subjects keep the conversation
light lively and fun but if you start telling painful stories from your past you run the risk of
scaring them away your first date isn't the time or the place to spill your darkest secrets over
time if you two have a strong enough connection those awkward conversations will happen naturally
number four the first date taboo speaking of boundaries there's one subject you
should never mention on a first date you can probably guess what it is your past
partners comments about your ex are incredibly awkward mentioning your ex can create disinterest
and ruin the atmosphere of your date to other people it feels like you're talking about your ex
because you're still interested in them and that discourages your date from getting to know you
so keep your past partners under wraps when the two of you connect on a deeper level
then you can share those awkward stories and at that point you'll have a strong enough
connection to explore those messy details until then just keep your romantic history to yourself
number five upfront investments all right let's say you're talking to someone new and
you find yourself wondering are they looking for something serious or casual most people shy away
from this sensitive subject you may be worried your answer will scare your new connection away
but this is an important conversation to have early in the relationship just imagine you're
looking for something serious but your date wants something casual you may be developing feelings
for this person but they're not on the same page so if this relationship ends you're going to be
the one who gets hurt so don't be afraid to protect your feelings and express what you're
looking for be upfront about your intentions otherwise you may be investing in the wrong person
number six dress to reflect what should you wear on a first date traditionally people have dressed
up women wore dresses and guys wore pants and blazers but in recent years the dress code has
started to change instead of dressing to impress people are dressing to reflect in other words
they wear what they wear in real life and that way their style reflects their everyday persona
so you don't have to wear your fanciest outfits of course you shouldn't wear sweatpants and
baggy clothes either you should wear clothes that make you feel attractive and confident
and that way you can show your date the most genuine version of yourself
number seven paying the bill after a nice meal who pays the bill should men always pay for their
dates should couples split the check everyone has their own set of rules when it comes to money
traditional men like to show romantic interest by footing the bill but many women prefer to
split the bill and pay for their own food so which one's right and which one's wrong
years ago men were almost always expected to pay a guy with manners would volunteer to pay for dinner
that was just the way things were but recently standards have changed
more and more couples are splitting the check but it really doesn't matter who actually pays
the bill what matters is your intention no matter who you are you should offer to pay
your offer shows respect for the other person's time and money they may turn you down they may
volunteer to pay for dinner themselves but you should always make an effort to pay your share
because if you don't there's a good chance your partner will notice you should never assume your
date's going to pay for everything they might but that should be their choice not your expectation
number eight defining your interest at the end of every date what's the one thing you want to know
you want to know where you stand is this person interested in me
do they want to go on a second date or will this be the last time we see each other
after a first date tell the other person whether you're interested or not
you don't have to say i like you or let's be a couple but you should say something like i had
a great time let's do this again comments like these demonstrate your intentions
once you've laid out your intentions the balls in their court either they're going to pull away or
they'll express interest of their own before that can happen you have to make your interest clear
the best time to express your interest is right at the end of your date before you say goodbye
let them know where you stand because chances are that's the first question on their mind
number nine the zero day rule how soon is too soon many people live and die by the three day rule
they say you should always wait three days before asking someone on a date but that rule has become
less and less popular dating trends are changing and the three-day rule is going out of style
so instead of waiting three days show your interest whenever it feels right to you
if you want to ask them out the same day then go for it ultimately your confidence is far
more important than the number of days you wait there's one more big reason to skip that
three-day waiting period in the early stages many people talk to several partners at the same time
you may have made a connection with them but you don't know who else they're talking to
with the availability of dating apps there are plenty of other options available
so if you wait too long your crush may move on to someone else so ditch the three-day rule and start
using the zero-day rule if you like someone you don't have to wait just summon the courage and go
for it number 10 individual flexibility we've covered a lot of dating rules but there's one
rule that stands above the rest no matter what rules you follow you should always be yourself
because that's the most important thing in any new relationship the other person wants to see you for
who you are they want a clear picture of your values your mannerisms and your priorities so if
you're a traditional person then be traditional if you're quirky and make your own rules then don't
be afraid to let your personality shine the rules of the dating world should never suffocate your
personality don't worry about whether you're doing the right things at the right times
instead focus on being yourself because that's what the other person wants to see most hey thank
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