Dark Squidge (Cute voice)
Hey you! My name is Thomas ‘TomSka’ Ridgewell and I don’t have a fandom. Let’s talk about why.
First things first I wanna be clear that I’m not complaining in this video. I love the relationship
with you, the people who watch my videos and I am so grateful for the genuinely feel respect
and concern from you. But what I wanna talk about though is why I don’t
consider my audience to be a fandom specifically and how that affects my relationship with YouTube.
I think a huge part of YouTube fandoms are based on cliques or clicks?
Where one YouTuber can steal the hearts of the masses, a group of them together spawns some
sort of fandom feedback loop that spirals out of control and straight into the
bank. Apparently it’s interesting observing one YouTubers life but even more interesting
watching them interact with each other in a pack is just fascinating. Like some kind of dystopian human wildlife show.
There are a lot of cliques on YouTube and I think it’s pretty safe to say their their
internal relationships to each other are undeniably mutually beneficial and also instrumental
in the generating the intensity of their respective fandoms. Words. Basically you all ship it really hard.
I used to have a clique but now… I don’t. I am effectively back to being a YouTube lone ranger.
Changes in my social habits and friendship circles and the kind of content the people
around me are doing now kinda put me in a little box of my own. Honestly I think my
awareness of how beneficial it would be to socialise with other YouTubers is one of
the reason I don’t even try - like Im so afraid of being insincere that I just kinda
keep myself away. Yeah that’s kinda sad.
Another reason why there isn’t exactly a “TomSka fandom” is because I stopped treating
you like one. A few years ago I decided to get in on that sweet sweet fandom action and
took some of the necessary steps to creating one. I gave you a name, I started treating
you as a collective but then I stopped doing that because I hated what was happening.
People stopped thinking like individuals and mob-mentality kicked in where people think it’s
okay to do anything because everyone around them is doing it.
One time this kid said something completely harmless in the comments of one of my videos like “I don’t think this was your best video”
and then hundreds of “turbofans” started attacking him to the point where he deleted his own account and
it was like “oh shit no thank you” and after that I started addressing you as…
You… The individual. I am far too lazy to operate an army.
Now the final reason why I don’t think I have a fandom on YouTube is because of how outwardly
flawed I am - and I don’t just mean fat and hairy because I think YouTube genuinely
makes it possible for anyone of any appearance to generate an intense personal connection with
their audience. No, there is an art to “exposing yourself”, if you will, which I do not do.
A lot of YouTubers almost exclusively put their best foot forward in their content and
it can turn them into this… Godlike, infallible, figures. Even their weaknesses are so carefully
exposed that it adds to their perfection which is impressive. It's like when you goto a job interview
and you list your flaws like “I’m just too much of a perfectionist.”
(Blows Raspberries)
I however have a gift which is really driving home my flaws. It’s like “Guys, I’m not happy all the time”
“Aww, Tom”, “No really I’m like so miserable”
“Aww Tom, we love you , “No, you don’t understand. I am a train wreck.
Last night I drank 3 pints of yogurt and cried whilst masturbating to pictures of sad clowns please kill me"
“oohkay byeee”
(Falls over)
Now I won’t lie, sometimes I do wish I had more of a fandom. Maybe it’d be nice if
teenage girls would scream and run towards me instead of… The opposite of that
happening. Maybe it’d be nice to have people write creepy fan fiction about me and set
my face as their profile pictures. Maybe it’d be nice to have ten thousand people retweet
me saying “good morning!” And it’d definitely be nice release a TomSka t-shirt and have
more than 4 people buy it in its first month and don’t tell me it’s the design because
the amount of people I’ve seen wearing this astoundingly underwhelming shirt is mind blowing.
That said, I’m very happy with the relationship I have with you. It’s what
I want and it makes me feel good. The times when I meet you at conventions or gatherings
and truly feel like I’ve made you happy are some of the best moments of my life and
if there were a horde of screaming tweens clawing to get at me I probably wouldn’t
be able to experience those moments. Sometimes I get jealous of the YouTubers around me who have
this godlike status. But when I see my friends get dragged in for a selfie with someone who couldn’t
give less of a shit about them as a person I stop envying that. I like this. I like you. This is good.
Anyway, thanks for watching my videos and being cool. Well not like cool cool, but a lame kind of cool.
But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Until next time... TomSka out.