Jessica and I moved in together about five months ago, and everything was going great.
We just have this chemistry together that's really beyond anything I've experienced before.
We cook together.
We salsa dance together.
We drink.
We laugh.
Until one night, about a month ago.
We got in this blow out fight.
Like, we are yelling at each other, and I put my foot down and I said, "No.
I might live with you, but I'm not living my life this way."
She wanted me to watched The Bachelor, and it might now just be my favorite show on television.
Here's what I've learned from watching that insanely entertaining show.
Keep watching.
Now whether or not The Bachelor is a guilty pleasure for you like it is for me, this video
is going to be extremely helpful for you.
You're going to be learning the three mistakes that most women make on this show, and they
also make it in real life.
If you do watch The Bachelor, I hope that this video is going to give you some added
depth to your viewing experience.
The thing about that show is there is a formula there, and the producers literally create
an environment that makes these mistakes explode into this fury of entertaining television,
whereas in real life these mistakes are usually just a little bit more subtle, yet equally
important, so here are those mistakes.
The first one is constantly comparing themselves to other women.
In dating and in life, you need to play your game.
What are your strengths?
Are you funny?
Are you smooth?
Are you interesting?
Are you intellectual?
What are you?
Are you just a really fun, loving person?
Focus on being the best at what it is that you're just naturally good at.
Don't focus on every other woman's strengths.
It's going to make you more insecure and it's going to drive you crazy.
For example, - I don't know if you guys know this - I do not have a six pack.
I never have and never will.
If all I ever did was compare my abs to other dudes back when I was single, and just walked
around and thought, "Man, that guy's got a six pack.
That guy has a six-pack.
I got nothing," if I kept doing that, I'd sit at home every single night eating Ben
& Jerry's, watching Netflix, which would make me even chubbier.
Instead, back when I was single I realized that one of my strengths was my extroversion,
so I continued working on that and being even more extroverted because it came naturally
to me in the first place.
For you, find your strengths and continue to work on that, and don't constantly compare
yourselves to other women.
The reason that the show is so crazy is because it makes love a competition, but love isn't
a competition.
You have got to play your game.
Be your best self whenever you're going out there because if you're always comparing yourself
to other women, you're always going to lose in the end.
The second mistake is being far too affectionate early on.
There's always those like, cringe-worthy moments when early on in the show, and also in relationships,
where the girls get really excited about a guy and they continue to tell the guy how
great the connection is, and how much they really like him.
He's sitting there being like, "Yeah.
I feel it too" but he's not really feeling it.
I'm a firm believer in authenticity in relationships, being real about who you are, but at the same
time it's so important to restrain yourself from even diving into those emotions, especially
early on.
If you don't know someone yet, you shouldn't be giving them that much affection, because
again, you don't know them that well.
Whether or not you're on The Bachelor or whether or not you're just living your real life,
it's really important to hold back on that, and from just diving in and giving him all
this affection early on even if you're an affectionate person because you know what?
You're not really sure if it's going to turn into a relationship yet.
As I was saying, never invest more in a man than he's investing in you.
In this season of The Bachelor there's this painful scene where Raven tells Nick that
she's falling in love with him.
You can see it.
You can see it in his eyes that it's like, it's way too early on.
He's not sure how feels yet either.
The reality is, she's not really in love with him.
How do I know this?
Because she doesn't know him yet.
You can be in lust with someone or you can be intensely attracted to someone, but until
you've had those moments to really just sit with someone, and get to know them without
the television on and behind closed doors, and be able to have those raw moments with
someone, you'll never really know if you're truly in love, but it's not really until that
initial honeymoon phase is over, where you really know if you're truly in love with someone.
Of course, in The Bachelor they might think that they're in love with a guy because a)
he's the only guy around, b) his status is insanely high because every other girl is
completely obsessed with him as well, and c) you just might find him physically attractive.
But it doesn't mean that they are actually in love.
A good rule of thumb is that unless you've smelled that person's bad breath or farts,
then you're probably not in love yet.
I want to hear from you.
What is one big mistake that you've made in your past that you have vowed never to make
in the future?
Let's hear right in the comments right there below.
Also, if you enjoyed this video, please share it with your friends.
I'm sure they'd enjoy it.
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You are.
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They're going to help you through dating, through flirtation, through commitment with
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Thank you so much for watching, and I'll speak to you next week.
Bye, bye.