[beeping sounds]
Noooo!
Luigi!
Oh, no!
[singing] I am Dr. Mario and I am saving lives!
In the Mushroom Kingdom I'm the finest doc by far!
No!
I won, I won! I won, I won, I won!
Oh, HELL no!
I am-a Luigi, NUMBER ONE MOTHERF**KER!
Comin' for ya n*gga.
[BOOM!]
Oh, yeah!
Go Weegee!
Go Weegee! X4
[screaming then CRASH!]
[also BOOM!]
Ohh... [sad music]
LUIGI! [runs over Luigi]
BULLSH*T!
Mario, is there-a racing, in-a heaven?
No!
Awa. [flatlines]
You are dead. GAME OVER YEA!!!
Luigi! LUIGI! [cries]
[buzzing]
Hoo-ooh-ooh!
Hello!
Luigi is dead!
Hey, shut up!
YOLO!!!!!
Captioned by Happy Doggy
My beautiful pie.
INCOMING!!
Hmm?
You darn kids get off my property!
Oh, you are so ugly! Oh, good-bye! Good-bye!
WHAT THE F**K IS A HELLO KITTY???
Lucky me! Oh yeah!
OH!!!!
That's-a gonna stink like a Super Scope to the nuts!
Hurry up, will ya?!
I'm learning!
Oh my f**king good...shank it!
Ohh!!!
[intense screaming]
[Shy Guy noises]
[eating noises]
[and THIS is what happens to Mario when HE eats a mushroom , but there's dancing spaghetti instead of shy gals.]
[And this shy gal's hair is NOT a ponytail , but instead a normal long hair.]
[And now he is in love with her (Truly in the sexual way).]
BRING ME THAT A*S!
Okie Dokie!
NOOO!!!!!!!
[Lands on the Shy Guy]
Sh*t.
[intense farting while a Koopa child laughs]
That's not funny you sick f**k.
[screaming]
Howdy there Chuck!
Top of the morning to ya John!
You know, I'm hungry, what should we eat?
Some of that good ol' watermelon!
Oh, yeah!
[singing] Eat that watermelon, eat that watermelon, eat that watermelon
Sure is good!
Eat that watermelon X3
Sure is GOOOOOOOO!!!!!
[important message from SMG4]
[Japanese song]
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! [punch]
S**K MY MUSHROOM D*CK YOU F**KING SON OF A B**CH!
Somebody kill me!
NO DON'T DO IT!
But I wanna die!
Stop that. [arguing]
Why won't you let me DIE?!?!
Suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem.
You have so much to live for, you're still young. You have so much to accomplish, so much to experience. Step away from the ledge no- [condor grabs Toad]
[BOOM!]
Hmm? Hmm...
You darn kids get off my property!
God damn it old man!
Y'know...
I've been...
Looking at your butt for...
And I was wondering if, y'know...
Can I have it?
No!
Just...just gimmie your butt.
No!
Gimmie that butt!
NOOOO!
[Mario says GIMMIE THAT BUTT and Bowser says NOOOO!]
[lands on Mario] Buttscratcher!
[Macho Man plays]
One day in Teletubbyland...
Laa-Laa decided to give all the other Teletubbies a big hug.
Wow! A big hug! Yay, a big hug! Eh-oh!
WHAT IS IT?!?!
First of all, Laa-Laa gave Po a big hug.
No no no no no no! [screaming]
[gibberish]
NOOOOO! [boom!]
[Mario Kart Blue Sheel noise] The f**k?
[crazy gibberish]
[Squidward scream then BOOM!]
Oh god, oh f**k! Oh f**k! OH F**K!
Tinky Winky...
AHHH! F**K THIS SH*T!!!!
OH, JESUS CHRIST!
You're not going anywhere motherf**ker...
Next, Laa-Laa gave Tinky Winky a big hug.
Ah, p*ss.
[roaring]
PINGAS LAUNCHER!
[BOOM!]
[Steve and his girlfriend, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!]
[making out]
G*y s*x is G*Y!
ARGH!!!! [ting!]
Hi guys!
Hi Steve...
I won, I won, I won, I won, I won!
Oh, HELL no!
I am-a Luigi, NUMBER ONE MOTHERF**KER!
Luigi!!!
Comin' for ya n*gga.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
[singing and other Mario screaming]
[BOOM!]
That's a spicy meatball!
Ha ha ha! I won!
I won, I won!
I won I won I won!
Mama Mia...
Yeah! Ha ha ha!
Hoo hoo hoo! Oh yeah!
[buzzing]
Mama Mia!
Hey Luigi! Hey! Yoohoo!
Luigi! No...
Oh yeah! [giggles]
AHH!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Nice job d*ckface!
No!
[FLASHBACK: That's a spicy meatball!]
MOTHERF**KER!
[screaming then CRASH!]
LUIGI!
OH HELL NO!
WWWAAAHHHH!
[Better love story than Twilight]
Mama Mia!
Mama Mia...
HAVE A ROTTEN DAY!
WHAT?
BF...I am pregnant!
OH, GOD!
NOOOO!
[intense yelling and screaming]
Okie Dokie!
[resumes yelling and screaming]
BRING ME THAT A*S!
[intense stuff happens]
Uh Oh!
Hmm?
Mario!
Luigi!
Mama Mia...
Mm hmm?
ARGH!!!!
Ohh...
[this is way too retarded for me to subtitle] .o.
I give up, that's it.
Captioned by ThatGuyInYourLoft
you can leave now