-Your new Netflix special,
"John Mulaney & The Sack Lunch Bunch."
-Yes. -I'm very excited about this.
This is sort of a variety show with kids involved.
-Yes. This is a show for kids, by an adult, with kids present.
It's a children's musical special,
and I am a man with no children and no musical ability,
but I wanted to do a variety special
and I wanted to do it with kids.
-Yeah.
-And kind of -- It's a nod to the shows I grew up on.
-Yeah.
-And I wanted to do like the "Sesame Street" I grew up on
and you probably grew up on, which was that, like, funky,
like, Art Garfunkel and Grover and a girl named Gina
would be, like, leaning against the stoop, smoking a cigarette.
And there would be, like, music, but then someone would come over
and be like, "Did you hear about Mr. Hooper?"
And they'd be like, "What?" They'd be like, "He died."
And they'd be like "Oh, no. What's death?"
And they'd be like, "It's when you die."
And then they'd just cut to an industrial video of
an orange crayon being made, and we forget about
that we just learned the existential dread of death
and we're watching a weird industrial of
orange wax becoming crayons.
And then you cut back, and it's Smokey Robinson.
And he's like, "Near, far."
And then it would cut back, and it was like, "Alright."
-Yeah, what a weird show. -Yeah. Yeah.
-It is bizarre.
-Yeah, I don't think there was a script to that.
-No, not at all.
You start the whole special with a quote.
Do you mind... -Oh, yeah.
-...reading the quote or saying the quote to everyone?
-The special begins with a maxim that I find
to be quite true, which is, "Do you know who tells the truth?"
"Drunks and children." -Yeah, that's --
-Yeah. -And -- Yeah.
Whose -- [ Cheers and applause ]
They agree. -It's true.
-They agree. -Wise words. Wise words.
-Who is that quote from?
-That is from Erika Jayne of
"Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" --
Season 9, Episode 20.
It's right after they go to the wine-tasting thing
where Kyle and Teddi get way too drunk.
The next day, Erika says, "You know who tells the truth?
Drunks and children."
I was working on the special at the time
and I was in one of those moods where I went,
"That's going in."
-Yeah. Absolutely.
-And kids are kind of -- They're not like drunks.
Well, they can't drive. They shouldn't drive.
But they are very blunt and truthful,
the way some people are after they've had a few drinks.
-Yeah. -They've come up to me on set.
One kid came up to me the first day and he said --
'Cause the special was directed by a great director,
Rhys Thomas, who I've worked with many times.
And he said, "So, you're not the director?"
And I said, "No."
And he said, "Oh."
And I said, "Do you think I have less authority now?"
And the kid said, "Yeah, I do."
And he walked away. -Just honest.
-Yeah, just blunt.
-But you talk about, like, some --
-They got into their fears. Yeah.
I wanted to know what they were worried about.
-What scared you as a child, John Mulaney?
Little John Mulaney.
-What scared me as a child was not just Robert De Niro
from "Cape Fear" breaking into my house,
but it was that I, being the only one
that was prepared for Robert De Niro from "Cape Fear"
to break into our house, that I would be the lone survivor.
And so it was on me -- It was my burden,
because of none -- My brother, my sisters, my stupid parents --
they weren't prepared for Robert De Niro.
And he kicked the crap out of Nick Nolte,
and, Dad, you are no Nick Nolte.
-Alright, alright.
-So I had to sleep with --
I slept with a crowbar under my bed.
-What?! -Yeah, yeah.
I just found it recently. It was kind of sweet.
And... -It became like a toy of yours?
-No. It became a crowbar,
'cause I was ready to roll at any time.
And I had a bat, and it was like,
"If I hear Robert De Niro downstairs
ha-ha-ha-ing it, you know --
-Yeah. You were ready to attack. -Yeah.
-I got to say, the celebrity cameos
are fantastic in this special, as well.
-Yes, yes. -It's, like, Richard Kind...
Yes. Jake Gyllenhaal.
-Jake Gyllenhaal is in this. David Byrne.
-Yes, David Byrne, André De Shields,
who just won the Tony from "Hadestown,"
and Annaleigh Ashford.
A lot of great Broadway and film people
came together, which was super-fun.
-Is there any guests that you wanted have on
that you couldn't get?
-Stevie Nicks. -Ooh.
-I wanted Stevie Nicks. -She's tough.
-A hush fell over the room
unlike any I've ever heard before.
-Yeah, 'cause she's a magical being.
-She is a magical being, but she --
When she passes on a TV project, she really passes on it.
-What do you mean?
-Well, I was looking for her for like a month.
You know, I can't catch her.
You know, she's a ghost in the wind, right?
-Yeah.
-So, I finally called her manager
and I said, "This is John Mulaney."
And she went, "Oh, you're that guy."
And I went, "Yes, I am."
And she said, "Listen, Stevie heard about the project,
but she's on tour and she has a limited break,
and so it's just not something she can do."
I said, "I totally understand.
Thank you so much for considering it."
And then she continued.
She said, "Also, Stevie listened to the song,
and she doesn't think it's funny."
And I said, "Oh, okay.
Yeah, you know, the first answer was good enough."
And she said, "Stevie's confused,
because this is not one of her songs."
And I said, "Oh, no, I know.
It's a parody song that she would be singing in.
But if she doesn't like it and is not available --"
And she said, "Yeah, she doesn't like it."
And I said, "Okay."
And I started laughing really hard,
because this was the longest pass I'd ever heard,
in about a decade of entertainment.
And she said, "You know, she did do TV once with Ryan Murphy."
I said, "Yeah, she was on 'American Horror Story: Coven.'
She did 'Seven Wonders,' that song."
And she said, "Yes, but 'Seven Wonders'
is one of Stevie's songs."
And I said, "I know that. This was a parody song."
And she said, "But she doesn't find it funny."
And I said, "I get that. I get all of it."
-Oh, my God! Wow!
-I said, "I want to say -- I want to let you know --"
I said to her, "I've been passed on many times.
This is the greatest pass in my career,
and please thank Stevie for me and just tell her I said 'hello'
and basically tell her I wrote the part because
I want to hang out with her."
And her manager said, "Well, then come hang out.
We have people in the backyard all the time."
-So, are you going to hang out with Stevie Nicks?
-I don't know. She didn't like my song.
-Come on, man. Come on.
She invited you over to the house.