Dating Apps SCREW-UP Your Chances With Women STOP This #1 Problem!
[0:00:00] Antonio: Guys, I hear you.
You’ve been asking me a lot of questions about online dating.
Now, I’ve been off the market for quite awhile, but it is something, okay, I can go
off and I can do the research, I can see what the latest studies were talking about.
And what I found actually is that there is one huge problem.
What is that?
Gentleman, that’s the subject of today’s video.
[Music] All right.
So, before I reveal the problem, I want to share with you a little bit of research coming
out of Columbia University by Sheena Iyengar.
This is a classic study that’s called the Jam Study.
If you can imagine you’re walking into a grocery store and you’ve got two tables
in front of you, one table has twenty four types of jam, the other one has six types
of jam.
Now, assuming a hundred people went by these two tables, you’re going to find that sixty
percent are going to go to the table with twenty four types of jam, forty percent to
the table with only six types of jam.
And, if I would say who do you think sold more, most people are going to say, well,
yeah, they had sixty people check out this one, they have a lot more options, so they
probably bought more.
That is not true, only three percent of the people that went and look at the twenty four
types of jam actually bought, while on the other side thirty three percent and eleven
times multiple actually bought when there were less options.
And that’s the problem, gentlemen, is that you’ve got too many options too many choices.
I know sounds like a bad problem and many of you guys are saying, Antonio, that is not
a problem, I love the fact that I’ve got access to ten thousand or a hundred thousand
different options out there when I’m looking for a mate.
But, if you’re looking to build a deeper relationship, you want to actually have success
and take this online dating to the next level to actually form a relationship, understand
that you’re biggest barrier is not having the right profile picture or what to wear
on that first date, but it is actually dealing with the complexity of choice.
All right, Antonio, let’s say I believe you and the complexity of choice is the biggest
problem that men face, how can I overcome it?
Well, guys, I’ve got a five-step decision-making process that you can follow and so, that you
can go out there and you can make the right choice for you when you have almost unlimited
options.
Are you ready?
Let’s get into it.
Tip number one.
Stop serendipidating.
So, serendipidating is when you take the dating process and you leave it up to chance.
Remember the movie Serendipity?
I watched it with my wife.
It’s all about chance.
The movie, Serendipity, she takes a book, she puts a note in there, she closes the book,
she puts the book up on the shelf randomly in New York, and if by fate they’re supposed
to come back together when he finds the note.
It took years for that to happen.
And if you’re okay with waiting ten, twenty, thirty, forty years for chance to bring you
your soul mate, well, this video is probably not for you.
But, I would say if you want to take dating seriously, you want to put in a little bit
of effort, you want to apply a little bit of work to it, then I think that you’re
got a great chance and that’s going to take us to tip number two.
Tip number two.
Know your values, know your rules, and when you’re looking for a partner make sure that
they align.
And, you may say, oh, I do that Antonio.
Understand that men were bad at doing this.
I know I’ve seen the research on this in speed dating where men would go in with a
list of what they’re looking for in a partner, but as soon as they start talking to a pretty
woman, they ignore the list.
Do not ignore the list.
And that’s why if you look historically why things like arranged marriages have actually
worked out because they ignore the emotion, they actually look at, okay, what is important
for that family, is this a good union for our families.
And they look at it from that perspective, but if you just go into this with your emotion,
think about it, you met her in a night club, how do you know what her values are, what
is important to her.
And, yes, you may both like to have fun at night and stay up all night, but if you don’t
agree on whether or not you want to have children, then understand there is not much potential
here for a long term relationship.
You’ve got to get those key points down first before you look at secondary factors
which are I think a lot less important.
Tip number three.
Figure out what your goals are.
And this is easier said than done because most of us we lie to ourselves, we’re listening
to our parents, they’re saying, yeah, you want to go get married, but you don’t want
to get married.
Be honest with yourself because that right there is going to save you a lot of pain.
And ask this person that you’re developing this long term relationship with, look at
their finances.
If this person is financially irresponsible, understand that this could be a huge issue
and if your goal is to be financially successful, to have children, you’ve got to make sure
that this person you’re looking to partner with has the same long term goals.
Tip number four.
Examine your options through the lens of your goals.
So, it’s kind of like a camera, you’re going to use your goals as the camera and
you’re going to look through and you’re only going to look at a section of all the
options that you have.
So, you’re purposely not looking at what’s behind you and you’re not looking at what’s
to the left what’s to the right, you’re looking and taking a picture of what is directly
in front of you.
So, let me give you a real world example.
What to do on a Saturday night?
Now, if your goal is to find a partner find someone that you can build your life with
who has the same values as you, well, look at your options, you could stay in and play
for a night which, yes, you do meet people, but are you going to meet – you’re going
to meet that person?
Probably not.
[0:05:05] Maybe you’ve got a church youth group that meets up on Saturday nights, that
would be a great option.
But, maybe you want a party girl, you want just – and you’re honest with yourself,
you want a wife for the night, you want to go out and have some fun.
Well, there are plenty of clubs disco techs and things like that to go to and that is
an option.
But, be honest with yourself, frame it through the lens of your goals and then you can make
a very easy decision.
Tip number five.
Put in the reps, do the work.
Any relationship is worth anything in life, you have to put in the work.
You’ve got to put in the effort and you do take the risk that this relationship will
fail, but, guys, it is well worth it.
With my wife, it’s fifteen years of work, fifteen years of love, fifteen years of just
great joy because we’ve gone down the journey together, buts with any relationship, there
is work there is going to be lost.
With all of my business partners, my good friends, Aaron Marino, Ryan Masters, these
guys, yeah, we put in a lot of work a lot of effort to build that trust and it makes
life worth living.
All right, gents, so now it’s your turn.
I want to hear from you down in the comments what do you think of this video.
I felt it was a little bit deeper than a lot of the other ones talk about dating apps and
things like that, but I truly believe the complexity issue is a huge – having too
many choices is causing so many of you guys to be unhappy and not be able to find a partner,
someone that you can go through life with.
And I know it’s important for me and I want you to be happy, I want you to be successful,
I want you to become the man you know yourself to be.
That’s it, guys.
I will see you in the next video and, yeah, that’s it.
Take care, guys.
Bye.
[Music] Ryan: The people here are fantastic, the content
creators are so approachable each and every one of them, you know, they’re all slightly
different and they have different perspectives on things you know.
If you ask the right questions, you’ll get everything you need out of this event.
No problem.
Brian: Getting to talk with Aaron, getting to talk with Antonio, these are the people
that have changed my life.
Even the attendees here, you know, getting to see what they do, what they’re looking
for, what their dreams and aspirations are and I just I live off of that stuff and I
thrive on it you know.
[Music] Antonio: All right.
So, bef...
[Bleeping sound] All right.
So, before I get into...
[Bleeping sound] All right.
So, before I get into the...
[Bleeping sound] All right.
So, before I reveal the problem, I want to set this up with a story.
So, imagine you’re going to the grocery store and you’ve got two options here...
[Music] [0:08:00] End of Audio