That's the air conditioning vent.
I have to put my sandwiches and my meat sandwiches on there,
because I'm not allowed to use the refrigerator.
This is so ridiculous.
Comparing the Sharna I knew in letters over years of writing
each other, with a Sharna I'm actually living with
and know now, it's literally like two different people.
I have to hide my meat on the air conditioning vent.
Otherwise, I go meatless in Elkhart.
They want me to live off corn.
It didn't take a lot of creativity
to figure out how to store something
on an air conditioning vent.
We do it in prison a lot.
When we can find flowing air, we try to put stuff up there.
It's kind of weird to say that it's a bad situation here,
but it's the psychological stuff that's so bad.
Staying in this house, in some ways, is like prison.
Sharna got branded, Warden Sharna, Warden Sharna,
by my girl.
And I started to see that.
I was like, babe, why are you saying that?
And then, she kept pointing things out,
like, she says you're letting a lot go.
Right.
Sharna doesn't change one bit to accommodate anybody
else's feelings or concerns.
Nothing.
So it's ridiculous that I have to come in here,
make sure she's not around, and sit down
and eat on this toilet seat.
Well, unfortunately, that's what I have to do.
In prison, the cells aren't very big, so a lot of times,
you do sit on the toilet to have a meal.
It's really disgusting, especially in that environment,
but we do what we have to do to avoid
Warden Sharna, the meat police.
This is textbook prison technique 101--
using toilet paper for everything.
[inaudible] but kind of preconditioned
to use it for everything.
We don't get paper towels in prison.
So that's it.
This pepperoni was smuggled out of the prison.
I was told this is the house rule, where
I couldn't have meat in the house,
couldn't cook it in the house.
Sharna doesn't like the smell.
It's very annoying to have to sneak around like this,
like a child.
(SINGING) I'm in heaven.
So much heaven.
[phone ringing]
Hey, baby girl.
MARY (ON PHONE): What are you up to?
About 5'5" on a good day, 5'6", maybe.
I'm really excited to see Mary.
On the FaceTime, it's called-- something new to me.
We talked every day, sometimes from first thing
in the morning, 6:30, 7:00 in the morning,
all the way through 10:00 or 11:00 at night.
I thought I heard somebody outside the door.
MARY (ON PHONE): I wouldn't be surprised.
Mary lives in Central California.
We met through a friend, and we've
only ever talked on the phone.
I saw a few pictures of her.
And I'm looking forward to FaceTime with her as much
as possible until she moves out here.
I'm just enjoying the pepperoni and ham sandwich.
I mean, I'm breaking all the rules today.
[chuckles]
Sharna wasn't too thrilled about the relationship
that I'm in now with Mary, and she's
expressed concerns about that.
I wish that Sharna and Mark could be happy for me.
Wanna see these rules?
They got 'em posted on the wall here.
BILL: The penalties-- I don't know.
Perhaps 30 lashes, or I don't get clean clothes
for a week or something.
I don't know.
[knocking on door]
Yeah.
It's locked.
Hold on, Mark.
Hold on, babe.
Mark's coming in.
I'm talking to Mary. I'm talking to Mary.
Hey, say hello to Mark.
Hello.
What's going on, bud?
Oh, not much.
Just wondered how you're doing.
Oh, you're eating in your room now.
That's not good.
Is it-- is it meat?
BILL: Yeah, it's ham.
It's pepperoni.
MARK: We don't really do meat in this house, so that's--
BILL: All right, Mary.
I've got to figure out how much time
I have to spend in the penalty box over this one.
All right, I love you, sweetheart.
Bye, baby.
MARK: To see Mary was--
well, it's just disheartening to see him obsessing with her.
And I just wish that he would realize how
fragile his psyche really is.
He just recently released falling
in love with the first woman that will talk to him.
And I just really worry that he's
going to get his heart broken, and
we're going to be right in the middle of cleaning up the mess.
I'm just-- I'm just wondering how this would work
with how long you've known her.
I think it's a good situation for both of us.
MARK: Well, I think that we're both really worried about you,
because you have this need for love that we all do.
And if you don't have time to set aside for yourself
and respect yourself enough to realize that you can do this
without anybody, you can get back
into society without some girl that says she loves you.
I just wish you and Sharna would
get to take a chance to know her,
even if it's got to be forced in the beginning.
I guarantee you she'll grow on you,
and you'll see she's genuine.
OK. Have a good one.
All right, man. Good night.
- Good night. - Thanks, bud.
Sick of this, living like I'm in prison.
Bull [bleep] man.
Coming out of prison, you know, I haven't been with a woman
in 18 years.
I know that I'm vulnerable.
But I know it's genuine, my relationship with Mary.
And I firmly believe that Mary is who she says she is.
But I have to be very careful, because I'm paroled here.
If this doesn't work, and Mark and Sharna kick me out,
I either end up homeless or back in prison.
I feel like I'm in this massive, very
emotionally painful catch-22.
It is so overwhelming.
You just kind of want to lay down in bed
and get under the covers and--
[sighs]
--and just get away from it all, just relax.
[bleep] rules and unicorns.
That's not cool.
[bleep] rules.