The midterm elections are tomorrow.
470 Congressional seats are up for grabs.
And a lot of politicians
are making their final push to sway voters.
Well, we actually have one of those candidates
here right now to talk with us.
Hello. Are you there?
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-[ Laughing evilly ]
[ Applause ]
-Dr. Evil, is that you?!
-No, it's white Cory Booker.
[ Laughter ]
Of course it's me, numb nuts!
-Wait. Wait. You're running for Congress?
-Yes, Jimmy. Haven't you been following the news?
It's 2018. Evil's "in" right now. It's "hip."
It's like playing Fortnite while slamming a Tide Pod
and doing the Shiggy Challenge.
-But I just didn't realize that you wanted to run for office.
-Well, originally I was hoping for Brett Kavanaugh's job,
but Trump said I was too even-tempered for that.
-So you're running for Congress.
I'm sorry, but what state are you even running in?
I thought you lived in a secret lair hidden in a volcano.
-I do, but it's in Rhode Island. Yeah.
Exit 47, near the Spearmint Rhino Gentlemen's Club.
-Oh. Okay, I see. I see.
So, are you running as a Democrat or a Republican?
-Neither. I'm running as an Eviltarian.
Our ultimate goal is to Make America Evil Again.
-Wow.
-[ Laughing evilly ]
-Sorry.
-[ Gags ]
-I'm sorry.
[ Laughter ]
I'm sorry. Make America Evil Again?
-You got it, Pontiac!
-Do you --
[ Laughter ]
Do you have a platform?
-Of course, Nummy.
I've come up with a five-point evil plan.
-Well, what are you going to call it?
-I shall call it...
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
...my five-point evil plan.
-Okay, okay. What is step one?
-From now on, the only flavor of Pringles
will be Screamin' Dill Pickle.
And the tube will be skinnier. That's evil.
'Cause once you pop, you have no choice but to stop!
-All right, okay. What is -- What is step two?
-Step two, I will make Don Jr. Secretary of Treasury.
The man's made out of dough.
-You really think he's that rich?
-No, he looks like he's actually made out of dough.
-Yeah.
-He's like the Pillsbury Doughboy.
I just want to poke his belly. Hee-hee!
-Step three, what is that?
-Well, step three, the amount of time it takes
before you can skip a YouTube ad
will be increased from 5 seconds...
to 8 seconds.
[ Laughing evilly ]
No skipsies!
-All right. That is evil. That is evil right there.
[ Laughter ]
That is almost too much. What is step four?
-Well, this one isn't really evil.
It's more practical. I'm going to legalize weed.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Papi needs that sticky icky for his glaucoma.
Yeah. He likes to blow his stick.
He likes to get shizzy on the whacky. Yeah.
Too much?
-Yeah, a little -- a little bit. Yeah, a little bit.
-R-i-i-ight.
And finally, step five.
The new national anthem will be...
♪ Baby shark, doo doo, doo doo doo doo ♪
♪ Grandma shark, doo doo, doo doo doo doo ♪
♪ Evil shark, doo doo, doo doo doo doo ♪
-No, no, no, no, no! Make it stop! Make it stop!
-♪ Baby shark, doo doo, doo doo doo doo ♪
♪ Baby shark, doo doo, doo doo doo doo ♪
-No! I can't take it! Please stop! Please stop! Please!
-[ Laughing evilly ] I will stop for now.
But can I get serious for a moment?
-Of course.
What is it, Dr. Evil?
-In these turbulent times of division, ad hominem attacks,
and polarizing rhetoric,
it can feel like the country's being torn apart.
But it's important that we as a country
unite and remember one thing.
-What is it?
-♪ Baby shark, doo doo, doo doo doo doo ♪
♪ Grandma shark, doo doo, doo doo doo doo ♪
-Make it stop! Dr. Evil, everybody!
-[ Laughing evilly ]
-We have a great show for you tonight!