[ APPLAUSE ] >>> GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE.
WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
I’M MEGYN KELLY.
IMAGINE KNOWING BEYOND ANY
SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT YOU ARE A
WOMAN BUT ASSIGNED MALE AT BIRTH
OR THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
IT’S ESTIMATED THERE’S 1.4
MILLION ADULTS THAT IDENTIFY AS
TRANSGENDER IN THE UNITED
STATES.
STATES. IN RECENT YEARS, TRANSGENDER
CELEBRITIES, LIKE CAITLYN
JENNER, LAVERNE COX, AND JAZZ
JENNINGS, HAVE BEEN FRONT AND
CENTER IN THE NEED YAMEDIA.
NOW, DURING PRIDE MONTH, TLC IS
AIRING "LOST IN TRANSITION,"
WHICH LOOKS AT THE LOSS OF
COUPLES AFTER A PERSON COMES OUT
AS TRANSGENDER.
AS TRANSGENDER. YOU WILL SEE IT’S NOT EASY, WITH
THE STORY OF JENNIFER AND LARRY,
WHO GOES BY THE NAME LAUREN.
>> MY HUSBAND’S NAME IS LARRY.
WE’VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 24 YEAR
YEARS.
YEARS. WE HAVE HAD OUR OWN BUSINESS
RIGHT NOW.
RIGHT NOW. FOR 22 YEARS, OUR RELATIONSHIP
WAS A RELATIONSHIP THAT OTHER
PEOPLE ENVIED.
PEOPLE ENVIED. BUT THEN, THINGS STARTED TO
BREAK DOWN IN OUR MARRIAGE.
>> I WAS STRUGGLING SO
DESPERATELY JUST TO HOLD IT
TOGETHER LONG ENOUGH TO SEE IF I
COULD GET THROUGH THE NEXT DAY.
I WAS SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL.
AND IT WAS HAPPENING FAST.
AND IT WAS VERY SCARY.
>> HE STARTED TO CYCLE FASTER.
AND THE DEPRESSION WOULD COME
HARDER AND STRONGER.
AND HE BECAME SUICIDAL.
ONE NIGHT, I ASKED HIM, REALLY,
WHAT’S GOING ON?
AND HE TOLD ME THAT HE WAS A
GIRL.
GIRL. IT WAS PRETTY DEVASTATING.
ALL OF A SUDDEN, EVERYTHING THAT
YOU KNOW, THE WAY THAT YOU SAW
YOUR LIFE AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP,
AND YOUR FAMILY, LIKE ALL OF A
SUDDEN EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT.
>> I’M CURRENTLY TRANSITIONING
TO A WOMAN.
I SEE AN END, IN THAT END IS ME
AS AN OLD LADY WITH MY WIFE.
>> IT’S NOT WITHOUT A HUGE
STRUGGLE.
STRUGGLE. BUT WE HAVE SOMETHING THAT IS
PRETTY FANTASTIC, THIS LIFE THAT
WE BUILT TOGETHER.
THESE CHILDREN THAT WE HAVE.
NOT EVERYONE HAS THAT.
I THINK THAT IF WE CAN SURVIVE
THE TRANSITION, WE WILL, AGAIN,
BE A FAMILY THAT PEOPLE LOOK TO
AS AN IDEAL FAMILY.
IT JUST WON’T LOOK LIKE THE ONE
WE HAD BEFORE.
>> IT’S GOING TO BE FINE.
>> WAITING FOR MY HAIR TO GROW
OUT LONG ENOUGH IS FRUSTRATING.
>> LET’S GET YOU SHAMPOOED.
>> I’M LEARNING HOW TO DO
MAKEUP.
MAKEUP. THAT STUFF IS CHALLENGING.
BUT I’M LEARNING AND EMBRACING
IT.
IT. >> EVERY TIME THERE’S A STEP
TOWARDS LAUREN, WHILE I’M HAPPY
FOR LAUREN, IT’S ANOTHER PART OF
THE GRIEVING PROCESS FOR ME.
I’M MOURNING MY HUSBAND.
AND HE’S RIGHT NEXT TO ME.
>> THAT’S PROFOUND.
LAUREN AND JENNIFER ARE WITH US
NOW.
NOW. THANK YOU BOTH SO MUCH FOR BEING
HERE.
HERE. THAT WAS EMOTIONAL TO WATCH.
[ APPLAUSE ]
LAUREN, CAN I START WITH YOU?
>> SURE.
>> SURE. >> WHEN DO YOU REMEMBER THE
FIRST TIME KNOWING THAT YOUR
GENDER HAD BEEN DISMISASSIGNED?
>> I WOULD LIKE TO SAY IT WAS
WHEN I WAS YOUNGER.
BUT I DON’T HAVE A DEFINITIVE
TIME THAT I KNEW.
THERE WAS SORT OF NEVER A TIME
THAT I DIDN’T FEEL THAT WAY.
THAT I CAN RECALL.
IT’S SOMETHING THEY FELT ALL MY
LIFE.
LIFE. >> I KNOW AS WE DOCUMENTED IN
THE PIECE, THERE WAS DEPRESSION.
YOU STARTED DRINKING TOO MUCH.
>> YES.
>> YES. >> DIRECTLY RELATED, I ASSUME.
>> YES.
>> YES. >> DID YOU KNOW THAT AT THE
TIME?
TIME? >> I WAS STRUGGLING WITH IT A
LOT, AS I STARTED DRINKING AND
DRINKING HEAVILY AND PULLING
MYSELF AWAY FROM THE FAMILY.
I WAS MISERABLE.
I JUST COULDN’T -- I COULDN’T
DEAL WITH DAY-TO-DAY LIFE
ANYMORE.
ANYMORE. >> SO, WHAT WAS THE AHA MOMENT
FOR YOU WHEN YOU SAID I CAN’T GO
ON LIKE THIS?
>> IT GOT TO BE POINT WHERE, MY
WIFE, JENNIFER, WHEN SHE
BASICALLY CAME TO ME AND SAID,
YOU KNOW, WHAT’S GOING ON?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
WHY IS THIS -- WHAT’S GOING ON
WITH OUR FAMILY?
AND SHE STARTED OUT ASKING ME A
SERIES OF QUESTION.
ARE YOU GUYAY?
IS THERE SOMEBODY ELSE?
TRYING TO PINPOINT WHAT WAS
GOING ON.
GOING ON. AND SHE THREW OUT, ARE ARE YOU A
GIRL?
GIRL? AND I SAID YES AND IMMEDIATELY
REGRETTED SAYING YES BECAUSE I
FELT LIKE I COULDN’T TAKE THAT
BACK.
BACK. I FELT LIKE I DESTROYED
EVERYTHING IN THAT ONE MOMENT.
>> WHAT ABOUT YOU, JENNIFER?
DID YOU -- WAS THERE ANY CLUE?
HOW DID YOU KNOW TO ASK THAT
QUESTION?
QUESTION? >> I DIDN’T KNOW TO ASK THAT
QUESTION.
QUESTION. WHEN LAUREN AND I FIRST STARTED
DATING IN 1993, A LOT OF OUR
FRIENDS SAID, YOU KNOW, IT’S
NEVER GOING TO LAST BECAUSE WE
THINK THAT HE’S GAY, LARRY’S
GAY.
GAY. I SAID HE’S VERY SENSITIVE AND
LOVING.
LOVING. SO, MY HUSBAND BECAME THE
HUSBAND THAT EVERYBODY WANTED
BECAUSE HE WAS ROOM DAD AND HE
ALWAYS -- HE WAS JUST EVERYONE
WANTED HIM.
WANTED HIM. AND SO, I GUESS THAT WOULD HAVE
BEEN THE ONLY INDICATION THAT,
YOU KNOW, HE WAS FEMALE.
BUT I JUST WAS SO FED UP AND I
DIDN’T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON.
SO, I JUST -- I THOUGHT, LET ME
ASK THE MOST FAR-FETCHED
QUESTION I CAN IMAGINE.
>> YOU NEVER SAW ANY SIGNS?
>> NO.
>> NO. NOTHING.
NOTHING. >> IT WASN’T TELEGRAPHED TO YOU.
>> NO.
>> NO. SHE PUSHED IT DOWN SO HARD.
SHE HAD OVERCOMPENSATED OF BEING
MALE, THE PROVIDER.
WE HAD OUR OWN BUSINESS.
YOU KNOW, IN ORDER FOR HER TO
DEAL WITH IT, SHE BECAME MORE
MALE THAN A LOT OF MALES ARE,
JUST SO SHE WOULDN’T HAVE TO
DEAL WITH IT.
>> YOU’RE SITTING THERE,
STUNNED.
STUNNED. THIS IS A BIG REVEAL.
WERE YOU CERTAIN IN THAT MOMENT
THAT YOU WANTED TO TRANSITION?
THAT THIS WAS GOING TO BE THE
BEGINNING OF YOUR TRANSITION?
>> THAT WASN’T THE BEGINNING OF
MY TRANSITION.
MY TRANSITION. I STRUGGLED FOR A YEAR AFTER
THAT, TRYING TO MAKE IT GO AWAY.
TRYING TO FIX MYSELF.
AND IT TOOK ME A SOLID YEAR OF
THERAPY, TALKING WITH OTHER
EXPERTS TO REALIZE THAT I WASN’T
BROKEN.
BROKEN. I JUST NEEDED TO EMBRACE MYSELF
AND BE MYSELF.
>> YOU HAVE FOUR KIDS?
>> FOUR KIDS.
>> HOW HARD WAS IT TELLING THEM?
>> IT WAS HARD TO TELL THEM.
WE SPENT TIME TO MAKE SURE WE
TOLD THEM IN AGE AND
DEVELOPMENTALLY APPROPRIATE
DEVELOPMENTALLY APPROPRIATE WAYS.
WAYS. WE TOLD OUR OLDEST FIRST.
OUR OLDEST AT THE TIME WAS
PROBABLY 13.
PROBABLY 13. >> 13.
>> 13. >> AND WE HAVE TWINS, AT THE
TIME, WERE FOUR YEARS YOUNGER,
9.
9. AND OUR YOUNGEST BARELY
REMEMBERS IT.
REMEMBERS IT. BUT IT WAS HARD TO TELL THEM
ONCE WE TOLD THEM, I FELL LIKE
THERE WAS A SENSE OF RELIEF ON
THEIR PART.
THEIR PART. >> THEY KNOW WHEN SOMETHING IS
OFF IN A FAMILY DYNAMIC.
>> THEY KNEW SOMETHING WAS
WRONG.
WRONG. AND THEY WERE AFRAID IT WAS
OTHER THINGS, LIKE TROUBLE IN
OUR MARRIAGE, TROUBLE WITH US,
THAT WE MIGHT GET DIVORCED OR
SOMETHING LIGHTMIGHT HAPPEN TO U
>> SO INTERESTING.
THE WAY YOU PUT IT IN THAT
PIECE, THAT EVERY TIME SHE TAKES
A STEP TOWARDS LAUREN, YOU
CELEBRATE FOR LAUREN BUT THERE’S
A GRIEVING PROCESS, TOO.
HOW ARE YOU?
HOW ARE YOU HANDLING IT?
>> WHEN LAUREN FIRST TOLD ME, I
WAS DEVASTATED.
WAS DEVASTATED. AND NOT DEVASTATED FOR ME, BUT
DEVASTATED FOR HER, THAT ALL
THIS TIME, THAT SHE HAD BEEN
GIVING AND GIVING AND GIVING AND
WE DIDN’T REALIZE THAT THIS WAS
GOING ON.
GOING ON. SO -- SORRY.
IF YOU WATCH THE SHOW, I CRY ALL
THE TIME.
THE TIME. IT’S HARD BECAUSE THIS IS THE
PERSON THAT I LOVE AND THE
PERSON THAT I BUILT MY LIFE
WITH.
WITH. AND WE’VE BEEN TOGETHER ALMOST
25 YEARS.
25 YEARS. HOW WAS I GOING TO THROW THAT
AWAY?
AWAY? IT DOESN’T CHANGE HOW GOOD SHE
IS TO ME AND HOW GOOD SHE IS TO
THE KIDS, IT’S JUST THAT SHE’S
FEMALE.
FEMALE. EACH DAY, WE’RE WORKING REALLY
HARD AS A COUPLE, TO STAY
TOGETHER AND TO TAKE CARE OF OUR
KIDS AND SHOW THEM AS MUCH LOVE
AS WE CAN AND TO TEACH THEM
ABOUT DIVERSITY AND INCLUSION.
YOU KNOW, WHEN WE DECIDED TO DO
THE SHOW, IT WAS BECAUSE WE
THOUGHT MAYBE WE COULD HELP
SOMEONE BECAUSE WE’RE JUST THIS
NORMAL FAMILY.
NORMAL FAMILY. AND NOW, WE’RE JUST DIFFERENT.
SO, WE -- OUR KIDS SAY IT ALL
THE TIME AND WE SAY IT ALL THE
TIME, WE WANT TO OPEN ONE HEART
AND OPEN ONE MIND AND MAYBE SAVE
ONE LIFE.
ONE LIFE. AND THAT’S IT.
YOU KNOW?
YOU KNOW? [ APPLAUSE ]
>> HAVE YOU HAD ANY QUESTION
THAT YOU WANTED TO STAY IN THE
RELATIONSHIP?
RELATIONSHIP? >> THERE’S ALWAYS QUESTIONS
BECAUSE LIFE IS UNCERTAIN.
WHEN I LOOK AT MY RELATIONSHIP
WITH LAUREN AND I HAVE OTHER
FRIENDS WHO ARE IN ABUSIVE
RELATIONSHIPS OR THEY HAVE
HUSBANDS WHO ARE ALCOHOLICS OR
THEY ARE NOT HAVING ANY TYPE OF
RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR HUSBAND
AND I LOOK AT MY RELATIONSHIP
AND REALIZE HOW MUCH I HAVE,
THEN THERE’S NO QUESTION.
>> THINGS CHANGED.
>> YES.
>> YES. >> THINGS HAVE CHANGED.
>> IT’S A DIFFERENT DYNAMIC.
>> VERY DIFFERENT DYNAMIC.
>> AND HOW MUCH IS YOUR PRIVATE
LIFE A FACTOR IN THE HAPPINESS
AND THE WELLNESS OF YOUR
RELATIONSHIP?
RELATIONSHIP? >> I MEAN, WE STILL ARE
AFFECTIONATE AND WE SPEND A LOT
OF TIME CUDDLING AND WITH OUR
KIDS.
KIDS. WE HAVEN’T FIGURED ALL OF THAT
STUFF OUT YET.
IT’S KIND OF ON HOLD, I GUESS,
UNTIL WE GET -- WE’RE STILL AT
THE VERY BEGINNING OF THIS
TRANSITION.
TRANSITION. THERE’S SO MANY OTHER THINGS
THAT NEED TO HAPPEN.
AND SO, WE’RE JUST TAKING IT
DAY-BY-DAY.
DAY-BY-DAY. >> GOOD.
>> GOOD. I LOVE SEEING THE TWO OF YOU
HOLDING HANDS.
HOLDING HANDS. LOVE TENDS TO PERSEVERE.
ALL THE BEST TO YOU.
>> THANK YOU.