You'd think that being a UPS driver might be a pretty chill gig,
right? Guess again. There are tons of strict rules all UPS truck drivers have to follow.
Most of these rules are based on safety and the company's bottom line: earn more money.
UPS drivers are not supposed to take left turns, if they can help it, and their routes
are actually strictly planned to minimize the necessity of such turns as much as possible.
The reasoning behind this seemingly bizarre rule, as explained by the Independent, is efficiency.
When you take a left turn, you have to move through oncoming traffic, which means that
even though a left turn might be a shorter distance, it will lead to a longer drive.
UPS boasts that avoiding such turns reduces delays from waiting for traffic to clear, leads to 10
million fewer gallons of fuel being used a year, lowers carbon dioxide emissions, delivers 350,000
more packages, and perhaps most importantly, reduces the number of traffic accidents.
Frankly, the figures here are surprisingly convincing — and were tested by Mythbusters,
if you're curious — to the point where one could make a decent argument that
maybe everybody should avoid these turns, just like UPS drivers do.
Now, to be clear, sometimes a UPS driver has to take a left turn,
and there's no getting around it. This doesn't happen too often, though,
as UPS claims only about 10 percent of the turns on their maps are left-handed ones.
Driving for UPS isn't a simple job. If anything, even the most passionate UPS driver would tell
you it's a complex career that requires you to learn the so-called "340 methods."
That also means, naturally, that UPS driving isn't a job where you
just fill out an application, smile at the manager, watch PowerPoint presentations,
and receive the keys. You have to go through UPS bootcamp.
Once you've finished some online coursework, you're sent to one of UPS's training facilities,
and depending on what position you're gunning for,
these hardcore classes last from five to nine days.
What do they teach? Hazard avoidance and management, of course.
New workers are trained to be the safest drivers on the road.
Efficiency rules are etched into every driver's brain.
Trainees learn how to load trucks the fastest way possible, and most amusingly, have to run
through a "slip-and-fall" course where they learn how to move quickly across ice without falling.
And so, the name of the game is efficiency, from the warehouse to the roads. Every UPS
driver has been through serious training at Integrad, so they definitely know their stuff.
UPS drivers operate on a ridiculously tight schedule, with an insane number of deliveries
ahead of them, and it's been drilled into their heads how much every single second counts.
To enforce this doctrine of efficiency, UPS drivers have to be tracked — yes,
tracked — throughout every moment of their shift, on the world's most
anal retentive timer, or corporate Big Brother will have a problem with it.
UPS trucks are, quote, "rolling computers," as NPR points out, and every stop of a driver's day
is intensely analyzed by the company, so the higher-ups can figure out how to cut down on
extra time, and fit in more deliveries. That's not creepy or anything, right?
You know that feeling you get, when you open your phone, see 35+ unread emails,
and one of them is your manager saying you're taking too long to reply?
That's a UPS driver's workday, but on wheels.
If someone were to first tell you that UPS drivers have to follow strict rules
as far as how they climb in and out of their vehicles, you'd probably think it was insane.
Unlike some of UPS's other methods, though, their requirement for drivers to follow
the so-called "three points of contact" routine, is actually a good safety measure.
What this means in practice is that when a driver gets in or out of their truck,
they should have one hand on the handrail, one foot on the step,
and another foot on the ground. Every time, without fail.
Doing this consistently reduces stress on the ankles. Keep in mind, UPS drivers have to do
this hundreds of times a day — using improper posture could do a surprising amount of damage.
In general, three points of contact is the safest way to enter or exit trucks,
and the multiple anchor points inherent to this method lowers the impact of injuries
caused by slips and falls. Consider: if you have one foot on icy ground, and it slips,
your hands on the handrail will catch you, as will your foot on the non-slippery step.
UPS drivers operate on strict time limits, and that means it can be really difficult to
find the time to do essential human tasks like, you know, taking a pee.
It's generally recommended for UPS drivers to plan their bathroom breaks. For example,
if you've got to load up on gas, that's a great time to visit the bathroom.
If the tracking software shows drivers taking too long, they will be accused of "stealing time,"
as well as messing up their Stops Per On-Road Hour counts, and explanations will be demanded.
Bladder justifications probably don't make for fun conversations.
"Ira, I have to pee. I'm not doing it here."
"No, he is not doing it there."
At least one driver told the Tampa Bay Times that he and others frequently urinate in the truck,
using cups, bottles, and so on. When asked about this claim, of course, UPS denied it.
It's a package car
When you think of UPS, the first image that pops to mind is probably a big brown truck.
However, if you work for UPS, you better not call it a truck.
For those on the inside, these boxy vehicles are strictly referred to as "package cars."
To be fair, it's unlikely that if a driver calls the vehicle a "truck,"
they'll be reprimanded. However, UPS takes their package cars seriously,
and they are also serious about calling them package cars, as seen in their promotional
materials highlighting the evolution of the vehicle over the past century.
If you've ever imagined that one day you might have a UPS package car of your own,
forget it. UPS takes intensive care to make sure nobody gets a retired vehicle;
most of them are turned into scrap metal once the company has finished using them.
Not too long ago, UPS required all drivers to carry the car keys on their ring finger. You
can probably guess the reasoning: Unlike you, who spends 20 minutes searching for your keys every
time you leave the house, UPS didn't want their drivers to waste any time with such nonsense.
"I hope you like walking, though. Because I took your car keys and flushed them down the toilet."
"Luanne, have you seen my car keys?"
And so, if the keys are always on the ring fingers, the keys never get lost.
This rule also enabled drivers to position the key with their index finger,
put the car in ignition, and pull it out in one swift motion.
These days, though? The ring finger rule is gone. It's not that UPS got more lax about it,
but rather, that technology evolved, and they realized it sped up the process
even further if the regular keys were replaced with fancy-schmancy key fobs.
The switch to fobs saves UPS two seconds per delivery, for a grand total of six minutes a day.
UPS chief operating officer David Abney isn't kidding when he said:
"We're obsessive about efficiency."
Another plus to fobs? UPS drivers now snap them to their belts, so they should never get lost.
When UPS boasts about their 340 methods, it applies to a lot of details that you might
think are mundane. Every one of these methods has been studied and tested for decades,
and proven to shave seconds off of every delivery — to ensure that the
company can squeeze out as many deliveries as humanly possible.
One of these methods, indeed, is all about where the driver keeps their pen.
This tiny detail is simple enough: If you're a driver, you must keep your pen
in your pocket. Which one? Depends on hand dominance, of course. Left-handed drivers
must keep their pen in their right pocket, and right-handed ones need to use the left pocket.
That's breast pockets only, by the way. While taken on its own, this rule would seem
ridiculously fussy, the fact that it functions alongside hundreds of similar such policies points
toward the ethic of UPS, as a whole, which is a company that prizes efficiency above all else.
Has your local UPS driver ever been frustrated about how narrow your driveway is, or the fact
that there are so many cars parked in it that they have to switch into reverse in order to get out?
UPS policy discourages drivers from backing up as much as possible.
A little backing out is bad enough, and long back outs are especially frowned upon,
according to drivers posting their own experiences on the Brown Cafe message board.
The reason for this anti-back up agenda is, of course, safety-related.
As you've probably noticed, whether from the time your parent backed up into the mailbox,
or the time you backed up into your favorite tree, reversing a vehicle often causes accidents.
"We have more people on the roads. We have more road construction. That is
a legitimate safety concern out there and the drivers will tell you this."
And lest you think that you can convince your UPS driver to back up on your driveway by using
your unbeatable charm, think again. Since the driver's vehicle tracks their every move, their
superiors will come down hard on them anytime the computer records them as going into reverse.
One truck driver told NPR:
"They know exactly how many times you back up and where you're backing up. And they
also know the distance. They know how far you're backing and the speed that you're backing at."
Most of the stricter UPS rules come straight from UPS. At least one rule, however,
comes from higher up the chain — and it's a good rule, which UPS has previously tried to flout.
Who could be more powerful than UPS, you ask? The United States Department of Transportation,
who strictly forbids commercial drivers from working more than 60-hour weeks,
for safety reasons that should be blatantly obvious.
"The cruelty of UPS center managers here in Jacksonville has been on full display
whenever drivers have filed grievances over excessive overtime."
Now, this 60-hour max does result in some hiccups, such as package delays,
since a driver has to come back to the hub if he hits the big 60. However,
in late 2017, KATU News reported that UPS was responding to the
surge in holiday package deliveries by pushing drivers to work 70-hour weeks.
Thankfully, the UPS delivery driver unions took legal action against the company.
According to Labor Notes, unions in New England rallied in the parking lot,
as hundreds of drivers refused to start their trucks, demanding that if
the company didn't value their lives, they weren't going to value their requirements.
When managers protested, the workers stood their ground. The solidarity of the New England
drivers won against UPS, and these drivers got to keep the 60 hour weeks they wanted,
instead of kowtowing to the forced overtime that had previously been demanded from them.
"Oh, oh, and I almost forgot. Uh,
I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday, too, k?"
If you haven't noticed, facial hair is in. As the 2010s have turned into the 2020s,
it's clear that men with beards are here to stay,
as they now appear everywhere from the corporate world to your favorite hipster coffee shop.
As the clean-shaven norms of the past have been done away with,
most companies have relaxed their draconian rules regarding beards. Including, yup,
UPS. It's worth mentioning here, because it was a hard and fast rule at UPS for a long time.
The package delivery company used to enforce a strict moratorium
on male drivers possessing beards and/or long hair.
Now, on a small scale, this resulted in situations
wherein super-qualified applicants were rejected for not shaving.
On a bigger scale, UPS's beard ban amounted to religious discrimination, since employees who wear
beards for religious reasons were pressured to conform to the Ward Cleaver standard.
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