you cannot legislate that everything is
going to be equal for everybody because
everybody's not equal they may be equal
in terms of their value as a human being
yes but they're not equal in math skills
they're not equal in how fast they run
they're not equal in creativity they're
not everybody has their own value but
that doesn't mean they're marketable
skills in an open society and an open
market are going to be the sunny I just
think if you're in your life and there's
you don't have something that you're
passionate about if there's not
something where you wake up every day
and there's nothing in your life that
you're excited to do man you need to go
back to the drawing board yeah
[Music]
because if all you're doing is just
grinding it out get up every day go to a
job you don't like do tasks you don't
care to do and come home to a home you
don't want to come home to and wait to
get them do it again the next day you're
burning daylight
what the hell existence is that find
something I don't care if it's gardening
or music or art or athletics or
something finds something you're excited
to do people don't want to look at
things for how they are they want to
look at things for how they want them to
be
something and you're good at it you can
accept not being good at other things
it's much easier if you find the thing
that you're good at whether it's
gymnastics or singing or painting if you
could find a thing that you're good at
it'll make you it'll give you a feeling
of self-worth and you won't need to be
good at everything you can accept and
you can enjoy other people being good at
things as well I don't understand it
just seems like you got to find your own
lane so I got myself into a lane where I
talked for a living I read I talk I
Alice a teef not quantitating find what
you're good at at a given time and do
what you're good at
yeah find something you love find
something you're passionate about and
that you can also excel at
[Music]
expose yourself to different things with
that very purpose of finding something
that you love is there something out
there yeah there's something out there
not everybody is meant to be an athlete
so okay look do something else yeah be
good at what you're good at and if you
really want to do it well you've got a
long road
it's a greased Hill yeah start running
everything's not for everybody so find
what you're good at and watch yourself
achieve in that Lane we took students in
the class where they put the steps of
learning the information so close
together that there was never a failure
experience it would say the war of 1812
happened in 1812 and the next thing
would say the war of 1812 happened in
blank Phil in 1812 they would teach the
information and they would teach it to
criteria where you mastered the
information you had it a hundred percent
and they said wow this is great
everybody learned it so everybody made a
hundred everybody got the information
they truly did learn it there was no
question about it they learned the
information and so they did great then
they took him out of that program and
put him back in the regular classroom
and the first time they came to
questions they didn't know the answer to
the first time they didn't get a hundred
they came apart like a cheap suit they
panicked they didn't know how to handle
adversity they didn't know how to handle
it when they didn't have the right
answers they didn't learn how to not be
perfect so they scrapped the whole
program because he said you can't do
this because that's not the way life is
right you're not teaching them how the
real world were those kids were
absolutely screwed up when they got into
a truly competitive environment you
can't be successful I mean if the whole
idea about school is you're supposed to
be setting kids up for the future he's
supposed to be teaching them not just
information but teaching them how to
learn and how to improve it's very
simple in it somebody will have a
complex thing that comes from childhood
or
maybe it's a drug background or they've
had trauma in their life but the
solution is change your behavior I mean
stop rewarding bad behavior choose a
different path in life just behave your
way to success sometimes the solutions
are very simple even though the problems
are very complex because at some point
you have to stop focusing on why and
start focusing on what instead of why it
happened what am I gonna do to change it
so sometimes the solutions are pretty
simple
I don't think problems are simple at all
in fact I think problems are really most
of the time pretty complex you're pretty
layered they have a lot of different
origins they're oftentimes comorbid a
lot of things exist together so I don't
think problems are simple at all but the
solutions are often simple don't you
think yeah it's it just seems that
people have they have this comfort in
their patterns and even if their
patterns are self-destructive evidence
drug abuse or alcoholism or did those
those the comfort in those patterns
falling into those patterns
it seems very compelling to a lot of
people yeah and payoffs don't
necessarily mean that it's a positive
payoff right I mean payoff for taking
heroin as you get high and so you're
high for a while that's not a positive
payoff but it's a payoff right and if
you if you get high and so you don't get
a job and you don't take care of your
kids
that's a payoff that you're not doing
things that you need to do that you
should be accountable for
it's a pathological payoff but it's a
payoff nonetheless and so that does
reward you even though it's a
pathological payoff the next year it's
going to go by whether you're doing
something about your life or not
I mean we're sitting here right now at
the end of February
the next 10 months are gonna go by
whether somebody is working to make
change or whether they're not they may
think you know oh my god I'm so far
overweight I'll never get it in the
controller I'm so behind in my bills or
I'm so you know just depressed or out of
my everything is so out of control well
you know what you make those incremental
changes and then you know pretty soon in
December you go at night I'm Way better
off and I was at the end of February so
you made little changes and they all add
it up and if you don't by the end of the
year you're just getting deeper so every
little bit matter I mean just sitting
around dreaming someday mm-hmm someday
I'm gonna get a different job someday
I'm gonna change this well someday in a
day of the week you know there's Monday
Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday are
you saying look on your counter some
days not on there so you got to say okay
I want to take this small step by here
this small step by there this small step
by there and then pretty soon you know
we don't leaps tall buildings in a
single bound we take it a floor at a
time the difference between winners and
losers his winners do things losers do
not want to do they they will get up in
the middle of the night they will do
this they will do that they feel it more
they just do things losers don't want to
do they'll pay a price losers just don't
want to pay yeah and loser says it's not
worth it and every winter has been a
loser
oh that's what made him a winner
if you go through life is in a success
only journey god how boring would that
be I mean you think it would be great
but like eat like ice cream every meal
but it's incremental changes over the
long haul and the way you have to look
at it is if these two boats are going in
a parallel direction and one of them
just shifts five degrees over the course
of time this boat is gonna be in a far
different place than the other boat
that's going the same way it was always
going the problem that kids make and
because I know I did it
is you compare your personal truth what
you know about yourself you know how you
really live and what's really going on
you compare your personal truth to
everybody else's social mask as you go
to school and you know well I know that
last night the windows got kicked out of
my house
I know that the utilities got turned off
and I know there was a big fight in my
kitchen last night and the kid sitting
next to me he's got on a shirt that's
all ironed and his face is all bright
and clean and you know he looks like
he's just got it all together and you
compare yourself to that person that kid
and you feel like you're second-class
and the problem with that is we generate
the results in life we think we deserve
so if you think you're damaged do you
think you're second class you will
generate
results that you think a second-class
person deserves mmm so if you don't fix
your personal truth then you'll spend
the rest of your life saying well you
know those really good results those
belong for somebody else that's not for
me that's for somebody else and you'll
settle for second best and you won't get
what you might otherwise generate for
yourself if you don't fix your personal
truth and so I think a lot of people are
struggling looking for a way to kind of
get out of feeling not good about
themselves and damaged self-esteem
damaged self worth and they really don't
know where to go I think we learn about
ourselves and you know everybody talks
about self-esteem and self-worth but
nobody ever talks about what it really
is or how we get it and I think I think
about it in terms of self attribution
because you know how you form opinions
of other people like if you look at this
guy and you you maybe you work with this
guy and so you watch him across a couple
of years and maybe this guy shows up to
work every day and he's there 15 minutes
early and he unlocks the place gets
everything ready puts the coffee on has
his desk ready he's all buttoned up and
man when the bell rings he's ready to go
and you just learned that this guy's
buttoned up ready to go dependable never
misses he's always there so you
attribute certain traits and
characteristics to him based on your
observations of him and your experience
of him based on that you assign certain
traits and characteristics to him but I
say that's exactly the same way we form
our own self-image and our own level of
self-worth we watch ourselves go through
life and we watch how we handle certain
circumstances and situations because if
you overindulge your children and do
everything for them you never let them
observe themselves master their
environment
you never let them step back and say wow
I did that mmm I built this I overcame
that I handled this I did that and so we
that's the same way we make our own
self-image and level of self-worth we
watch ourselves overcome the third grade
we watch ourselves stand up to a bully
we watch ourselves handle a test with
the information that intimidated us or
we watch ourselves make it on to the
Little League baseball team and actually
get a hit when we needed to or we watch
ourselves get on to the debate team and
actually argue something successfully
whether it's academic or athletic or
musical we watch ourselves do it and so
we go back and say hey I did that I
attribute to myself the ability I can
hang I can do this I can rise to the
occasion or we watch ourselves fold like
a pup tent in a windstorm and say you
know I can't hang I don't have it and we
make those attributions to ourselves and
so we shrink from the challenge for the
rest of our lives until like you said
it's hard to overcome that and something
pushes you up until you finally observe
yourself overcome something and I think
that's how we form our level of
self-esteem and our identity about who
we are and I don't think most people
think about that you look back and say
okay how did I how did I get to be Joe
Rogan as I sit in that chair you have a
self-image you have a level of
confidence and ego string a level of
self-worth
that's attributable to things you've
watched yourself do or not do achieve
not achieve overcome or whatever
throughout your life and and I think to
know yourself you have to know what
those things are
you