>> WELCOME BACK.
IT HASN’T EVEN QUITE BEEN TWO
WEEKS SINCE THE SHOOTING AT
OXFORD HIGH SCHOOL.
TWO WEEKS SINCE WE LOST MADISYN
BALDWIN, HANA ST. JULIANA, TATE
MYRE AND JUSTIN SHILLING.
IT’S ALL FRESH AND RAW AND THE
PROSECUTION.
SUSPECT AND PARENTS, OF COURSE,
HAS A LONG WAY TO GO AND LAST
WEEK, IN FACT I’VE SAID THIS
MANY TIMES, IF WE COULDN’T
MUSTER CHANGES AND SOLUTIONS
AFTER SANDY HOOK, I WASN’T SURE
THAT CHANGE WAS POSSIBLE.
ODDLY ENOUGH, THE COUNTER
ARGUMENT TO THAT COMES FROM A
PARENT WHO LOST HER SON AT SANDY
HOOK.
JESSIE LEWIS CHOOSE LOVE
FOUNDATION AND I’M SO GLAD THAT
SCARLETT LEWIS IS WITH ME THIS
MORNING.
YOU ARE, OF COURSE, ONE OF THE
UNFORTUNATE FEW THE REAL SENSE
WHAT THESE OXFORD FAMILIES ARE
GOING THROUGH.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THEY ARE
NOW.
MY SIX-YEAR-OLD SON, JESSIE
McCORD LEWIS, WAS MURDERED IN
HIS FIRST GRADE CLASSROOM
ALONGSIDE 19 OF HIS CLASSMATES
AND SIX EDUCATORS AND YOU KNOW,
RIGHT NOW THEY’RE IN SHOCK AND
NOT BELIEVING THAT SOMETHING
LIKE THIS CAN HAPPEN.
>> Devin: YEAH.
>> AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF
AND HOW THEY’RE GOING TO
SURVIVE.
>> Devin: BECAUSE THERE, OF
COURSE, IS NO -- THERE’S NO
RETURN TO NORMAL.
THERE IS JUST LIKE YOU’VE HAD, A
COMPLETELY NEW LIFE, A DIFFERENT
LIFE THAN THE ONE YOU EXPECTED.
>> THERE IS NO RETURNING TO
NORMAL.
THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.
IN FACT, AFTER JESSIE’S MURDER,
I REALIZED THAT I HAD TO BE PART
OF THE SOLUTION.
I ALSO KNEW THAT EVERY SCHOOL
SHOOTING IS PREVENTIBLE.
SANDY HOOK WAS PREVENTIBLE,
PARKLAND WAS PREVENTIBLE,
MICHIGAN WAS PREVENTIBLE.
IN FACT, THERE HAVE BEEN 350
SCHOOL SHOOTINGS SINCE SANDY
HOOKS, 28 THIS YEAR ALONE AND
THEY’RE ALL PREVENTIBLE.
>> Devin: BUT I OFTEN USE, AS I
SAID EARLIER, I SORT OF USE
SANDY HOOK AS A METAPHOR FOR
FUTILITY.
IF WE COULDN’T DO IT THEN GIVEN
WHAT HAPPENED AT SANDY HOOK, WHY
DO YOU HOLD PROMISE THAT WE CAN
TURN THE CORNER, THAT WE CAN
FIND A WAY FORWARD NOW?
>> I THINK IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT
THAT WE SHIFT OUR FOCUS.
WE HAVE BEEN FOCUSING ON THE
REACTIVE END OF THE PATHWAY TO
VIOLENCE, THAT IS THE ATTACK
END, WE’VE BEEN HARDENING
SCHOOLS AFTER EVERY SHOOTING,
CHANGING OUR STRATEGY.
AND I THINK IT’S TIME NOW, AND
WHAT I’VE BEEN FOCUSED ON FOR
THE PAST NINE YEARS SINCE THE
SANDY HOOK SHOOTING, IS FOCUSING
ON THE GRIEVANCE END OF THE
PATHWAY TO VIOLENCE AND THAT IS,
A SCHOOL’S CULTURE.
IT IS GOING IN AND IT IS
FOCUSING ON CHILDREN’S MENTAL
HEALTH AND WELL-BEING.
GIVING THEM SKILLS AND TOOLS SO
THAT THEY CAN MANAGE DIFFICULTY
AND CHALLENGES AND ROAD BLOCKS
IN THEIR LIVES AND ULTIMATELY,
THAT GRIEVANCE SHOULD IT HAPPEN
BEFORE IT ESCALATES INTO AN
ATTACK.
NOW, WHAT WE’VE BEEN DOING NOW
IS REACTING AFTER EACH SHOOTING
AND WE FIND OURSELVES ALWAYS
BEING BEHIND THE EIGHT BALL.
WHAT WE NEED TO DO IS START
BEING PROACTIVE.
>> Devin: AND A PART OF THAT.
YOU’VE GOT A NEW BOOK CALLED
"FROM SANDY HOOK TO THE WORLD,
HOW IT CHANGES LIVES", AND WHAT
YOU’VE TURNED TO SEL, EXPLAIN
SOCIAL EMOTIONAL LEARNING.
>> SO, THESE ARE ESSENTIAL LIFE
SKILLS.
THEY’RE LEARNING HOW TO HAVE
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS AND
MEANINGFUL CONNECTIONS.
THEY’RE LEARNING HOW TO MANAGE
OUR EMOTIONS, HOW TO FACE, MOVE
THROUGH, GROW THROUGH, BE
STRENGTHENED BY DIFFICULTY IN
OUR LIVES, HOW TO MAKE
RESPONSIBLE DECISIONS.
ALL OF THESE SKILLS AND TOOLS
THAT WE’RE ACTUALLY NOT BORN
WITH, THAT WE HAVE TO LEARN.
AND SO, YES, WE LEARN THEM AT
HOME, BUT WE’RE SEEING NOW THAT
THEY ABSOLUTELY MUST BE
REINFORCED AND PRACTICED AT
SCHOOL AND I WILL SAY, AFTER I
QUIT MY JOB AFTER SANDY HOOK AND
DEDICATED MY LIFE TO BEING PART
OF THE SOLUTION, AND CAME UPON
THESE ESSENTIAL LIFE SKILLS, I
REALIZED AS AN ADULT THAT I
DIDN’T HAVE ALL OF THESE.
AND SO I CAN TELL YOU THAT I’VE
LEARNED THEM, A LOT OF THEM AS
AN ADULT, HELPING CREATE THE
CHOOSE LOVE PROGRAMMING, AND MY
LIFE IS EXPONENTIALLY BETTER.
THESE ARE REALLY IMPORTANT
SKILLS AND TOOLS.
WE KNOW THAT THEY ARE THE
PATHWAY TO FLOURISHING.
WE KNOW THAT OUR KIDS ARE BEING
SUBJECTED TO A LOT OF ISSUES
TODAY.
MORE THAN EVER BEFORE.
>> Devin: RIGHT.
>> ESPECIALLY THE SOCIAL MEDIA.
WE KNOW THAT KIDS, BY THE TIME
THEY GRADUATE FROM SLEM
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL THEY WILL HAVE
SEEN VIOLENT KILLINGS AND BY THE
TIME THEY’RE 18 OVER 200,000
ACTS.
AND THAT STUDY WAS DONE IN 1998.
I CAN’T IMAGINE WHAT THE NUMBERS
ARE NOW.
>> Devin: EXACTLY.
>> IF WE’RE GOING TO HEY--
ALLOW OUR KID TO BE SUBJECTED TO
EVERYTHING THEY ARE, WE ALSO
NEED TO GIVE THEM THE COPING
MECHANISMS THEY NEED TO HANDLE
ALL OF THIS.
>> Devin: THE LAST THING I
WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT
THOUGH IS HOW YOU WERE ABLE TO
MAKE THE TURN AS EARLY AS YOU
DID TO SEEING THIS IN A NEW WAY.
WE’VE ALL FOUR FUNERALS FOR THE
VICTIMS HERE WERE HELD THIS PAST
WEEK.
AT JESSIE’S FUNERAL, YOU SPOKE
ABOUT CHOOSING LOVE.
AS LONG AS YOU’RE ANGRY OR IF
YOU’VE GOT HATE IN YOUR HEART,
THEN AS NELSON MANDELLA SORT OF
EXPLAINED, SOMEONE ELSE IS IN
CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE, YOU SEEM
HOW TO UNDERSTAND FROM ALMOST
THE DROP THAT YOU NEEDED TO LOOK
AT THIS A DIFFERENT WAY.
HOW WOULD YOU ADVISE RIGHT NOW
WHO ARE HURTENING SUCH A
HORRENDOUS WAY TO CHOOSE
SOMETHING OTHER THAN ANGER OR
HATE?
HOW DID YOU DO IT?
>> WELL, IT’S A DIFFERENT PATH
FOR EVERYONE.
MY SIX-YEAR-OLD SON ACTUALLY
LEFT A MESSAGE.
>> Devin: YES. >> ON OUR KITCHEN BOARD BEFORE
>> ON OUR KITCHEN BOARD BEFORE
HE DIED, AND HE WROTE NURTURING,
LOVE--
NURTURING, HEALING, LOVE.
AND THESE KID AREN’T BORN MASS
MURDERERS, THEY’RE CULTIVATED TO
WHAT THEY BECOME THROUGH
DIFFICULTIES AND CHALLENGES AND
ROAD BLOCKS THEY DON’T HAVE THE
TOOLS AND SKILLS TO MANAGE.
SO I JUST DECIDED THAT I DID NOT
WANT TO BECOME ANOTHER VICTIM.
I HAD, YOU KNOW, AN OLDER SON,
JESSIE’S OLDER BROTHER AND I
WANTED TO BE A ROLE MODEL FOR
HIM ON HOW TO LEARN FROM THIS,
HOW TO GROW THROUGH THIS, HOW TO
ACTUALLY EVEN BE STRENGTHENED BY
THIS.
AND THEN TO TAKE THE WISDOM THAT
WE’VE LEARNED AND USE IT TO HELP
OTHER PEOPLE.
AND SO IN THIS KIND OF CONSCIOUS
MODELING THAT I’VE DONE, IT
REALLY KIND OF HELPED ME RISE TO
THE OCCASION AND HOPEFULLY BE
PART OF THE SOLUTION.
I FEEL LIKE IT’S TIME NOW AND
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
WE CAN PREVENT SCHOOL SHOOTINGS,
BUT IT’S GOING TO TAKE EVERYBODY
REALLY LISTENING TO WHAT OUR KID
ARE TELLING US.
OUR KIDS ARE HURTING.
AND THEY NEED OUR HELP.
SO MANY TIMES THEY ACTUALLY TALK
ABOUT WHAT THEY’RE GOING TO DO
AND WE NEED TO LISTEN TO THEM
AND WE NEED TO BE GIVING THEM
WHAT THEY NEED AND TEACHING THEM
HOW TO MANAGE THESE DIFFICULT
EMOTIONS THAT THEY HAVE.
WHAT WE’VE BEEN DOING ISN’T
WORKING.
SO WE’RE GOING TO HAVE TO SHIFT
THE WAY THAT WE’VE BEEN LOOKING
AT THIS ISSUE AND START FOCUSING
ON PROACTIVE PREVENTION.
>> Devin: WELL, AND I KNOW A LOT
OF PEOPLE ARE LISTENING AND
HEARING YOU.
YOUR GRACE AND COMMITMENT HAVE
BEEN EXTRAORDINARY IN THIS.