VOICE Good call two fans, let's crack
open the Honest Trailer vault...
HONEST TRAILER VAULT: SUPERMAN IV
VOICE From the production company behind
Breakin II: Electric Boogaloo...
VOICE (CONT'D) Comes a Superman movie so bad -
it'll likely kill the entire franchise for 19 years!
VOICE (CONT'D) Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.
VOICE (CONT'D) Christopher Reeve is back for one
last paycheck as Superman! In one of the corniest movies of the
decade... which is saying a lot... since this
is the 80's.
VOICE (CONT'D) Watch as this mild-mannered dork...
VOICE (CONT'D) Turns into this mild-mannered dork.
VOICE (CONT'D) Recoil in horror at the return of
mentally unstable actress Margot Kidder, as she struggles to play
Lois Lane.
VOICE (CONT'D) Yeesh....
VOICE (CONT'D) And Gene Hackman returning as Lex
Luthor, an evil genius who can't pronounce the word nuclear.
VOICE (CONT'D) The quest for peace begins when
this dumb, overdubbed, kid...
VOICE (CONT'D) ...guilts Superman into collecting
all of the world's nuclear weapons ... that he'll stuff into this big
net ...
and throw into the sun ... Which somehow the U.N. is totally cool
with.
VOICE (CONT'D) Confused? Just wait! We're only
getting started!
VOICE (CONT'D) Watch as Lex and Duckie from
Pretty in Pink
VOICE (CONT'D)
Easily cut Superman's
indestructible hair...
Cut hair from museum.
VOICE (CONT'D) Strap it onto a missile...
Stupid box on the missle
VOICE (CONT'D)
And launch it into the sun - to
inexplicably create NUCLEAR MAN!
VOICE (CONT'D) Behold the super site of two grown
men in spandex, going toe-to-toe in
some of the most poorly-executed
sissy fights ever put to
celluloid...
VOICE (CONT'D) Wow.... This is bad... This is
really bad... What the heck was
that?... What is this, space tag?
...Nails? Really?...Come on, you're
superman! Do something!!... That
looks terrible!... He scratched
him?... Superman lost from a
scratch???... That made no sense!
... UGH... Are we sure we wanna
release this thing?
VOICE (CONT'D) Marvel at Superman's Powers that
you know and love!
VOICE (CONT'D) And stare in wide-eyed disbelief at
these new, completely made-up
Powers... Like:
VOICE (CONT'D) Rebuilding the Great Wall of China
with his eyes!
VOICE (CONT'D) Lowering people with his mind!
VOICE (CONT'D) And helping this woman breathe in
outer space!
VOICE (CONT'D) So if you thought this year's
Predator and Spaceballs looked too
polished... Then we've got the
summer film for you! Filled with:
VOICE (CONT'D) Terrible blue screen!
VOICE (CONT'D) Fake miniatures!
VOICE (CONT'D) Ridiculous Over-sized Props!
VOICE (CONT'D) Really, really terrible blue
screen!
VOICE (CONT'D) And the same flying shots used over
and over and over and over again...
VOICE (CONT'D) Seriously? These are all the same
shot? You couldn't do one more
take? That's lazy you guys.
VOICE (CONT'D) Starring...
VOICE (CONT'D) Captain America
VOICE (CONT'D) Hack Man
VOICE (CONT'D) Desperately Seeking Superman
VOICE (CONT'D) Charlie Sheen
VOICE (CONT'D) Betty Ford
VOICE (CONT'D) And Dolph Lundgren-ish
VOICE (CONT'D) Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.
VOICE (CONT'D) Man this movie's bad. At least
it's not Marvel, right? Those guys
will never figure out how to make movies.