What's up? What's up? What's up, Minhaj-ers?
If there's one thing we know about Donald Trump,
it's that he's got a calm, measured approach
to foreign policy.
I'm gonna bomb the (bleep) out of them.
-Wait for it. -Bing, bong, bong, bing, bing, bing
I'd blow up the pipes, I'd blow up the refiner...
I'd blow up every single inch.
There would be nothing left.
Oh, dang!
But hold up. Can we just bomb the (bleep) out of anyone?
And also...
are we?
You're Hasan the Record.
♪ ♪
This thing on?
Now, so many of our Hasan the Record fans
have been commenting.
-Dear Hasan... -Trump sure loves to bomb stuff.
But don't we have to declare war first?
Declare war? Chill with the labels, boo.
This ain't war.
It's the "Authorized Use of Military Force."
AUMF.
We just AUMFIN'.
AUMF.
You see, back in 2001, after the 9/11 attacks,
Congress gave the president some sick new powers--
specifically, to use any force he deemed necessary
against any nations or organizations
that aided in the September 11 attacks.
So you could get bombed if you were a terrorist,
or just terror-ish.
I'm talking about Al-Qaeda, Al-Nusra,
Al from Home Improvement.
I don't know, he's got the beard,
he builds crazy stuff in a garage,
he beheads journalists.
Huh?
Basically, the AUMF lets the president order
new military strikes without declaring war
or even asking Congress.
The AUMF is so powerful that the last guy
actually asked Congress to limit it.
...and ultimately repeal the AUMF's mandate.
But amazingly, Congress rejected him.
The president should have all the tools necessary to win.
The president literally asked for checks and balances,
bus Congress Dikembe Mutombo'd him,
and was like, "No, no, no.
You keep bombing."
Now, in the 16 years since 9/11 a lot has changed.
The U.S. wound down operations in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Osama bin Laden was killed and thrown in the ocean,
and my cat got sick, which wasn't really a 9/11 thing,
-but it didn't help either. -(cat meows)
However, one thing hasn't changed since 9/11:
those AUMF powers.
There's no expiration date on them.
So it's like letting the president bomb a ton of places
without actually having to declare war.
It's like Tinder for warfare,
-no commitment, baby. -(bell rings)
Yeah, but that was, like, 200 years ago.
Who are we AUMF-ing today?
Oh, good question. Who are we bombing today?
Nowadays the U.S. is authorizing
the use of military force-- excuse me--
TRUMP/MINHAJ: Bombing the (bleep) out of
seven countries:
Iraq, Syria, Afghanistan,
Pakistan, Somalia, Libya and Yemen.
Yemen? What's a Yemen?
Some sort of hybrid between a yam and lemon?
Crazy.
Yemen is also the place
where we did 50 airstrikes in March alone.
Did you know that?
You didn't know that,
but now you know that.
The problem is Congress gave the president broad powers
because they thought he would never abuse them,
but now the AUMF is on its third commander-in-chief,
who happens to believe that...
The world is a mess.
-And... -I alone can fix it.
Plus, he gets a tiny chub each time he says the magic words...
Radical Islamic terrorism.
So now, there's no telling
who we may end up bombing the (bleep) out of.
-♪ ♪ -(explosion)
-(music stops suddenly) -Agrabah?
(rocket whistles)
Whoa. It's almost like giving the president
virtually unlimited bombing powers was a bad idea.
Which means it wasn't a good idea.
Which makes it a bad idea.
Go to hasantherecord.com
to pick up your Hasan Mi-Knapsack.
The bag is cool but knowledge is lit.
And join us next time when we look at Paul Manafort.
Man or fort?
Think about it.