(audience cheers)
- Have a seat!
I, I feel like, I feel like we're in sync today.
- Yep, we had the same vibe.
- Oh my gosh. I know,
it's like we called each other.
I should have called you and woken you up
because I couldn't stop watching your show
that I'm not allowed to talk about yet.
I'm gonna wait.
- Okay.
- But I'm so excited to talk about it,
but I'm gonna be nice, and I'm gonna be like, how are you?
(audience laughs)
- Oh, I I'm good.
You know I'm good
Um, you know, my January has been full of
what I think every parent's January is
which is like--
- [Kelly] Back to school
- Well, no.
- [Kelly] Oh
- Rumaging through the Christmas gifts that--
- [Kelly] Oh!
- your, um, your in-laws got for your kids
and pulling out all the slime and the glitter.
(audience laughs)
and tossing it in trash.
- I don't allow glitter.
I'm, I'm, here's the thing.
- [Kristen] Glitter is the devil's work.
- Glitter is Satan's den.
I don't like glitter.
Slime, I'll do I'll do, I'll pick up anything
but I don't like glitter.
- [Kristen] Slime you'll do?
- Slime, I will do.
- You ever gotten it on the couch?
- [Kelly] Yep. I've gotten, do you know what?
I'm an idiot.
I bought a white couch.
That's right.
(audience laughs)
Because it was real cute,
and it's real nice, and nice to lay on.
But I have a dog that I let on my couch and I have two,
I have a five and seven year old.
So it was--
- [Kristen] It's, (inaudible).
- [Kelly] But I'll tell ya what,
I put that stuff on it,
and I can get stuff out of it,
so yeah.
- [Kristen] Wait, what's your trick?
- I don't remember.
But I had the company do it, and it was awesome.
- Yeah. Well, companies that come in with solvents,
they're very helpful.
You gotta like Scotchgard it and stuff.
- [Kelly] No, they Scotch,
yeah they did the whole couch so I--
- Rubbing alcohol.
- [Kelly] You know what helps--
- That's what gets the thyme out you guys, rubbing alcohol!
We got it all over the couch.
- [Kelly] Okay.
- We looked it up, we asked Dr. Google
(audience laughs)
rubbing alcohol all over the couch.
Boom. It came out.
I mean, granted ours is like a dark green, but it worked.
- [Kelly] So, Okay. Note that I'm gonna take that
because I do have rubbing alcohol,
but I will tell you this.
Apparently, Dawn gets out everything.
I'm not even being promoted.
They, I don't, they didn't give me any money.
- [Kristen] Good. So--
- I'm just telling you, my dog is a very active dog
and comes right back in and goes right on the white couch.
And like, I get it out every time,
vomit, everything. Any time he gets sick
(audience laughs)
Dawn!
- Let me tell you--
- [Kelly] Just Dawn!
- A harder one.
- [Kelly] Okay.
- When your children think it's funny to take a ball
of slime and do this to the dog,
and then the poor dog who's already a trauma boy.
Okay. He's already like it was on the streets.
He only has three legs.
He gets nervous when a pork comes out of the drawer
like he's got a lot on his plate.
- [Kelly] Aww.
- And they balled up slime
and they put it all over his face.
- [Kelly] Oh no.
- And the poor thing was just like,
so I had put him in the bathtub--
- [Kelly] But did you get it out?
- With Dawn.
- [Kelly] With Dawn?
(audience laughs)
- I'm not joking.
- [Kristen] I know. It's really cute.
- It's crazy.
My, my, my girlfriend told me she was like, just use Dawn.
And I was like, are you serious?
And I did.
- [Kristen] It's a good soap
- I know.
- [Kristen] Yeah.
- I, that would not work on my, he's a golden doodle.
I'd have to shave him, I think.
- I did end up having to shave like right here.
But the, the thing about, you know, these trauma boys
when you get 'em, is that if you put 'em in the sink,
they know a bath is coming
and they just go--
- [Kelly] They start shaking.
- Yeah. Or they just go completely paralyzed.
- Yeah.
- And they're so scared, which is really sad
that they're kind of still till the bath is over.
- So wait,
so what was your relationship like with your mom?
Like growing up?
Were you one of those kids that did slime in the dog's hair?
- My mom let me do quite a bit of things,
but my mom also had a radical sense of humor.
- [Kelly] Okay.
- Like an incredible sense of humor.
Like she, I remember she knows I love animals.
So when I was in college,
she sent me a box that had holes punched in it.
- [Kelly] Yeah.
- She, and in college.
And she said, I found you a pet.
You could- in the mail, you could keep in your dorm room.
I hope it survived on the food and water.
And it was a dead lizard,
that she had found in the backyard and was like
this'll be funny to send to my daughter
(audience laughs)
- What?
- [Kristen] She also once bought me a taxidermied alligator
from, um, like a garage sale
and sent it to me in the mail
- [Kelly] I love your--
- And she would go around--
- [Kelly] This kind of explains how you found your partner
in life as well.
- [Kristen] A little bit, a little bit.
(laughing)
She would, I got two more zingers for you,
she would go around the neighborhood
and collect cicada shells, you know cicadas?
- [Kelly] Yeah, yeah.
- She, but she would put them
in a cookie tin and then send 'em
to me in college and be like Christmas cookies.
But it was just dead cicada shells.
(audience laughs)
- [Kelly] What?
- [Kristen] And, one time when I was in high school--
- What?
- [Kristen] she bribed, she was a cardiologist nurse.
She bribed
like the mortician to let her "borrow" three human hearts
and brought 'em into my science class.
- [Kelly] Pretty sure that's illegal.
(audience laughs)
Pretty sure that that's, I don't know.
- Well, if you can prove it, Kelly, cause
I had nothing to do with it.
- Your mother--
- [Kristen] Yeah, she's rad.
- is awesome.
- [Kristen] She's rad.
- Oh my God.
- She's got like a dark sense of humor
which is probably where I get my dark sense of humor.
- [Kelly] Oh my gosh.
- But she's--
- And your attraction to it.
- [Kristen] Yeah
- [Kelly] Yes, yes. Oh my gosh, that's amazing.
I, I love your mom.
So, you grew up in a blended family as well, right?
- [Kristen] I did.
- Cause that can get tricky.
Was it good for you?
- [Kristen] You know what?
It was wonderful.
Like, look, I've read all these parenting books
and there's all this talk
about like broken family, blended family.
Like, I don't feel oh, those are my sisters,
those are my stepsisters.
Although I never say step, because look
I'm always 100 degrees colder than everyone else.
(laughs)
This is proof.
I grew up in, um,
my parents were divorced when I was really young.
So I met my stepsisters when I was two,
and I never knew them as not my sisters.
So I don't say step.
- [Kelly] Oh, that's cool.
- And then when my mom remarried, and my dad remarried,
I truly just felt they were always in
within a mile of each other.
They kept houses really close.
I always just felt like I had more adults to love me.
So I don't particularly have any bad memories or call it a--
- [Kelly] Well, it sounds like
they did a good job co-parenting.
- [Kristen] Yeah. It's just like I had a lot
of adults and some cool sisters that were really nice.
= [Kelly] That's cool.
That's love.
(audience cheers)
Love is love.
- [Kristen] Yeah!
It was a loving family, it was just segmented.
- It seems like to your parents, put the kids first.
So that's like, what really--
- Yeah. For sure, for sure.
- [Kelly] comes in that environment
(audience cheers)
- [Kelly] Now let's take a look at her new Netflix series,
it's called the The Woman in the House
Across the Street from the Girl in the Window.
(giggles)
It's amazing.
Which is already great.
- [Kristen] If the title makes you laugh,
we're on the right track.
- [Kelly] Oh my gosh.
Okay. But here's the thing I have to say.
So I, my voice sounds wrecked because, I c- I'm so tired
cause I had to watch it all.
And I, I just want you to tell everybody, because
I, I'm sitting here talking about it and you're like
what are you talking about?
So tell everybody kind of about the series
and why you did it.
- [Kristen] Okay. So, um,
there were these three writers that I loved
from the Groundlings, Rachel Ramras, Larry Dorf,
and Hugh Davidson.
I'm sure you've seen things that they have written.
You just don't know their names as much,
cause they're not as much on camera.
So they, Rachel's obsessed with these mysteries,
especially the ones that are written by women for women.
And they follow this formula.
There's a female protagonist,
she always has some sort of a phobia, right?
She's in affliction of some sort,
like she can't go outside,
or she's afraid of the rain, or something like that.
- I didn't even know, yeah.
- Right?
And then, well the, the, all of these mysteries
have the same formula.
And then she's also, like always, she's way too nosy.
She's had a sense of trauma,
she's really lonely.
And you build up all this sympathy to see this woman.
And then she starts making really bad choices.
And then you wonder whether or not she's crazy.
And she has the obligatory line,
"I know what I saw."
- Yeah, exactly.
- [Kristen] You gotta get there in the, in the show--
- And you say bingo a lot
- I say bingo whenever I find a clue, yeah.
(Kelly laughs)
- [Kelly] It's amazing.
- So basically this woman who has had a sense
of trauma in her life, her husband has left her,
her child has passed away.
They are, she's watching her neighbors because everything
outside her window is better than what's inside her head.
And she's obviously mixing pills
with wine, as they all do in these.
- [Kelly] Yeah.
- [Kristen] And everyone you see--
- [Kelly] See, you keep making the joke,
but you pull it off so well that it's not funny.
- [Kristen] Well, thank you.
- It's just freaking awesome.
- [Kristen] It's pretty, it's still pretty funny.
- [Kelly] It is funny.
- It's still pretty funny.
- [Kelly] It is funny,
but you do such a good job that I literally
felt myself tearing up cause I felt so bad.
- Yeah.
- You did--
- Yeah, she's kind of sad.
- A really good job.
- And the, the cool thing about the genre is you get to
see everyone else in the world through her eyes.
So at, you know, when her
when her handsome neighbor first moves in,
you see this great dad, this really great guy like,
oh is he the key to her happiness?
- [Kelly] Yeah.
- And then when she starts to suspect him
you see him in darker light.
You see him doing shady things,
because everything is through her lens.
- [Kelly] Perspective, yeah.
- So you don't really realize that you've been, you know, um
taken on this road with her until the very end.
- [Kelly] Dude, the end?
- [Kristen] But she basically thinks
she witnessed a murder, or did she?
(audience laughs)
- [Kelly] And I'm not gonna look,
I'm not gonna spoiler alert,
but I'm gonna say what I was gonna say afterwards
in the commercial break.
But I will say the end, I was like
what?
- [Kristen] Yeah.
- I was like, it, it was so good.
- [Kristen] It's one of the crazy, it is the
it is the craziest ending I have ever been a part of.
- [Kelly] It was so good.
It was so, so have you ever seen anything happen like
through your, like through your window, like watching?
- No. I, no, I I'm not.
I'm gonna spare you the details.
I don't watch my neighbors, but I am like secretly nosy.
Like I'm all over the Nextdoor app.
I've got to know what's happening.
- What's that?
(audience laughs)
- It is the most dramatic slash wonderful
slash way to find lost dogs app on the internet.
- [Kelly] Oh!
- It's called next door.
You sign up, your whole community gets to be like
does anyone want these colored pencils?
I don't need them anymore.
Has anyone seen my dogs the other day?
Is this your iguana?
There was a iguana--
- [Kelly] It's like a new way to be a neighbor.
- on a car.
Yeah, it's like nosy neighbors,
but you don't need to look out your window.
So I'm all over Nextdoor.
- Okay. Now your neighbors are all like,
(laughs)
- They're all over it too, we keep tabs on eachother.
We keep tabs on each other.
- [Kelly] I love that, I never heard of that.
- [Kristen] Oh, it's it's incredible.
- It's super helpful.
- [Kristen] I beg you to sign up.
- Okay, okay.
I'm not really an app girl.
Don't tell anyone.
Um, so, but, but, well, here's
here's what your neighbors see though
when they look at your house, we saw this.
(audience laughs)
So this is--
- [Kristen] Yeah.
- [Kelly] This is you.
- [Kristen] Yeah.
- This is you.
- Yeah.
- First of all, Dax.
Congratulations. Congratulations.
I just need to say it, like way to go buddy.
- [Kristen] In my defense,
that's the back of the house.
And I don't think anyone can really see
unless they have like a cellphone.
- [Kelly] If I look like that, who cares if they see?
Take the shot!
- Look, I grew up in the theater--
- I'm gonna do it in my front yard.
If I look like you
(audience laughs)
- [Kristen] But like, I'm not
going outside, like in, I'm not taking
in the trash like that, but if I'm like waking
up on a Saturday and I wanna go get coffee
or matcha from the kitchen, like--
- [Kelly] Yeah.
- And if I had slept nude, then I'm going in nude.
The problem is, he always busts me
because I wear really high socks.
But I don't take those off.
(audience laughs)
- [Kelly] Cause your socks, your feet get cold.
- Yeah, my feet get cold.
- Me too!
- [Kristen] And so I keep them on compression,
it's really nice.
So he's always snapping pictures of me where I'm
like this, but then just like amazing thick grandpa socks.
- [Kelly] Oh my God, I love it.
So wait, so he also took this video of you.
So I wanna play it.
This is pretty good.
- Well, I should certainly let Her Majesty know, thank you.
- You're just--
- [Kristen] You can't understand what's happening,
but basically, when we we watch The Crown,
or any show with an accent, I have to do it.
I can't not do it.
(audience laughs)
- [Kelly] Wait, do you repeat the line?
Like while you're watching?
- Every single time.
- You are my daughter.
- Every single time.
- [Kelly] I cannot stand watching movies with my daughter,
every single line.
She looks back and repeats it,
- Yeah
- [Kelly] like as if I wasn't there.
- [Kristen] Right, right.
You know, is it just
is it every line or just accents?
- [Kelly] It's every line, especially jokes.
- Her tick is different than my tick then.
- Okay. Okay.
- Mine is just accents, so like Game of Thrones with me,
I don't recommend it.
The Crown with me,
I do not recommend it.
It is,
I recognize it as
it's not diagnosed, but I'm sure it is some sort
of a tick, but I am mimic,
something sounds funny in the air to me, it falls out
of my mouth and every now and again, he grabs the camera.
- [Kelly] Of course.
- [Kristen] This is my life!
- Cause you, you look quasi crazy.
You've got your bottle
and you, it's probably water, looks like vodka.
- And I'm just doing it into the, yeah.
Like, everybody, I'm not kidding,
The Woman in the House Across the Street
from the Girl in the Window is on Netflix.
You gotta watch it.
(audience claps)
It's so amazing.
It's funny,
but it's also just really good.
Anyway, also check out Kristen's new line of
premium CBD skincare and bath products called Happy Dance.
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