- Aw. - Damn it!
This stupid game is rigged!
Better luck next time.
Give me the bear.
Do it.
- Here you go. - Yay!
Thanks, Uncle Benny!
Ah, you're welcome.
No sudden moves.
'Cause someone's getting a hug! Ooh!
I missed you.
Is this how you kill people?
Oh, no. I'm not bounty hunting today.
It's a national holiday. Some union thing.
Who's that, Uncle Benny?
Hey, little guy.
I'm an enemy of your Uncle Benny's.
It's my job to hunt him down and kill him
because he's the most wanted man in the country
and he deserves to rot in hell!
Even if everyone here is going gaga for Trig.
Wait, Trig is here?
Oh, yeah. She's doing some big heist.
It's part of this crazy crime spree she's on.
It's so stupid.
[chuckles] Yeah.
Stupid. [laughs]
Well, maybe I should just check it out, though, right?
Just see what all the fuss is about.
Hey, kids. You want to check out an active crime scene?
Yay!
PRUDENCE: Ah, so much to do!
We could carve our names into Independence Rock.
Ooh, look! There's a meet-and-greet
with Uncle Sam in his White House Wonderland.
What sounds good to you? Uh, all of it.
What do you think, Phaedra?
Oh, um, sorry. What was the question?
I'm just so confused by this sandwich.
Right, yes. No, you want a more
perpendicular entry, dear.
- This? - Ah, no.
Like, turn it on its axis.
The other axis.
Rotate it, like...
I'm sorry, I just-- I don't get this.
Or any of this. I mean, what exactly
are we celebrating here?
The pursuit of happiness?
Happiness is an indulgence
that should be run away from.
Oh, no, you're just not seeing it the right way.
When I was at the orphanage growing up,
I used to make an American flag
out of a dirty old pillowcase.
And I'd wave it around
and pretend I was in the Land of the Free.
Ezekiel, you're not a...
patriot, are you?
- Well... - Because the man I married
loves God, not America.
Sorry, no. A patriot. Yes.
Um, no, I'm not that.
[scoffs] No.
Boo, America!
What are you talking about?
You're like the biggest patriot I know--
Ah! No, no, no, no, I'm not.
I might have experimented with patriotism in college but that was just a phase.
You know what we should do?
We should protest this sick holiday.
Haa...
Wouldn't that be righteous?
Yes.
Wonderful idea, dear.
[laughs]
Well, at least it's something we can connect on.
Sorry.
This is too many hot dogs.
[people clamoring]
You--you took everything from us.
You're a monster!
Oh, that's so sweet!
Thank you for coming to the robbery.
Everyone, really, thank you.
People are really freaked out by Trig?
Dad?
Okay, what part of "I never want to see you again"
don't you understand?
God, you're like obsessed with me or something.
I'm not here to see you. I'll have you know,
I'm here on important business.
Uncle Benny? I have to potty.
Levi, you're killin' me! You just went potty!
Does cholera give you a tiny bladder, too?
Oh, my God, your new gang seems pretty tough.
[laughter]
Yeah, well, sorry to steal the spotlight...
but these folks now have
a real bad guy to worry about!
Get 'em up!
Um, I'm sorry. Who are you again?
Benny the Teen.
Oh! Right!
Yeah, I think my parents were scared of you.
Would you mind if I go back to being robbed by Trig?
Sorry, Benny. Looks like I'm new hotness,
and you're an old has-been.
- CROWD: Oh! Ooh! - BENNY: All right, laugh it up.
This isn't the last you've seen of Benny the Teen,
not by a long shot!
Let's go potty.