Here's a part of a secret video,
audio recording that Althea says she taped
just this last December.
And you didn't know this was being taped at the time,
but you're okay with her having done it.
She does it because she cares about me, yes sir, I'm okay.
Okay, so you're okay and you're okay with us using it
even though it was secretly obtained.
Yep.
I just gotta suck up my pride and deal with it.
Okay, this will be the first time that Kevin
has heard this and that's why I want you to...
Sometimes if you step back for a minute
and hear it objectively,
you might hear something that can help us.
So let's give it a listen.
What's your (bleeps) problem?
You cannot--
You gonna force me out now?
No.
You're doing a damn good job!
I'm trying to talk to you.
Yeah but you're not listening!
I'm sorry you feel that way.
You're not!
Oh this is just like before, it'll get better.
No it's (bleeps) not!
Not charming.
No.
What's your reaction when you hear yourself there?
Does that seem like you?
It seems like that version of me.
I acknowledge that version of me exists and I hate it
but yeah, I have to admit that's me.
But it's not the real me.
Kevin's anger continued to escalate
until he threatened to burn the house down.
Let's continue to listen.
Not (bleeps) similar!
Not (bleeps) similar, not (bleeps) similar!
Okay, rip the counter.
I don't care!
I'll give you (bleeps) $100,000,
what does it (bleeps) matter?
I'll burn down the (bleeps) house and you can rebuild it
from that money I'm gonna give you.
What does it (bleeps) matter?
You think I really want?
Yeah I think you really (bleeps) do!
You sure don't want me around,
'cause you'd try to (bleeps) help more if you did.
You're as bad as they (bleeps) are!
You don't even wanna understand!
We could work on vocabulary.
Yes we could.
(audience laughs)
How do you feel when that's going o?
I feel really sad because I love Kevin.
What triggered this?
What was so important
that the house needed to be burned down?
I came in, he was sitting in his office very depressed,
I asked him what's going on,
and then he got angry because I didn't know.
You came in and said are you okay.
And your reaction was,
you oughta know whether I'm okay or not.
So again, the expectation that everybody oughta know
what's going on with you and where you are in that moment
and read your mind and be tuned in.
To me it was more like,
hey you've been with me long enough,
you really oughta know all the different things
that bother me, and so it was really
a stupid question to have to ask.
It's like, you oughta know what's going on.
Is there a point during this when you say,
I need to shut up?
It's more I would like to stop
but there's just no way I can reign it in.
How does it end then?
It defuses over time.
It just burns off after awhile.
We've learned to separate ourselves one way or another.
Either I'll leave the house, you know,
or she will leave the house.
It just seems like even going
to separate rooms isn't enough.
But he hasn't physically attacked you.
No, never.
Why not?
I care about her too much.
But I mean you're yelling at her, you're all of this,
how are you able to put up that boundary?
I guess there's this part of me that incorrectly believes
that the yelling doesn't hurt.
Even though I know that's very wrong.
I know we've watched you enough to know
that the verbal abuse is just as bad as the physical abuse.
No, it's not the same.
It actually hurts a lot longer and a lot deeper.
And it does hurt, right?
Yes, for a long time.
It hurts you desperately.
It makes me change my behaviors
because I never wanna hear that again.
Yeah.
And what I found is,
by changing my behaviors hasn't helped at all.
You know, I learn triggers.
If I'm not ready to go before Kevin is,
I'm in hot water.
So I'll go sit in the car
and say I'll wait for you in the car.
It has helped a lot though,
please know it has helped a lot.
You have done so much in the last
two or three years to help tone this down.
I don't wanna say where it would be if you hadn't done
the millions of things you've done to make this work
every hour of every single day that we're together.
I appreciate you saying that.
I do appreciate you saying that, but that's (bleeps).
You should not have to.
(audience cheers)
You do it because you love your person.
I know, but listen.
You should not have to go sit in the car and wait for him
just to be sure that you don't trigger something in him.
That's not reasonable behavior.
You've got to be worn out.