What a historic day.
North Korea and the United States
meeting for the first time ever.
And this-this is right up there
with all the other great moments in diplomacy--
I mean, Reagan and Gorbachev,
Arafat and Rabin,
Starbucks and black people.
I mean, this is... this is huge.
And before we even start,
we've all got to admit that we were wrong, right?
We said the man couldn't do it.
We said his temper would blow up the summit,
but yesterday he proved everyone wrong
and turned the nuclear summit in Singapore
into a huge win for himself.
So let's swallow our pride and give it up
for a leader who's much smarter than we thought.
Kim Jong-un, everybody.
Give it up for Kim Jong-un.
Huh? Huh?
(cheering and applause)
Because, I mean-- no, let's be honest, people--
this dude crushed it yesterday.
I know everyone's focus is gonna be on Trump,
but this summit belonged to little Kim.
He was the belle of the ball.
Think about it. The government paid, right?
The government of China paid for his private plane,
the government of Singapore paid for his hotel,
and the president of the United States
flew to meet him on his side of the world.
This guy was treated like the world's biggest diva.
He probably had one of those riders in his contract
that said no green M&M's in the dressing room.
He was like, "You take out all the green M&M's,
and you send them to a labor camp. Mm-hmm."
I mean, think about it. It's just crazy to think
that just a few months ago,
Kim Jong-un was universally detested, right?
Nobody wanted anything to do with him.
On the subway car of life,
Kim Jong-un was the guy in the corner
clipping his toenails. That's who he was.
But as soon as he touched down in Singapore,
the panties came flying off.
From the hermit kingdom to the grand stage.
North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un
soaking up the Singapore spotlight.
I did not expect to see the supreme leader coming by.
It was, uh, amazing sight.
I-I couldn't quite believe that this was really happening.
On a tour about town Monday night,
Kim taking selfies with his host.
(crowd cheering)
The ruthless tyrant cheered on by spectators,
getting the rock star treatment.
Yo, fame turns people into such idiots.
'Cause one minute, people were like,
"Did you hear that Kim Jong-un slaughters entire families
"and imprisons their children?
"It's one.. Oh, my God, it's him!
"Kim! Over here, Kim!
"Can we take a selfie?
"He looked at me! Oh, my God!
This is the best day of my life!"
People are screaming for a brutal tyrant
like he's the newest member of BTS,
like, except in this world,
K-pop stands for "killing populations."
Like, what are you doing?
I mean, even Kim Jong-un
is probably surprised by this reaction.
He's like, "I'm used to screaming,
but not happy screaming. What is this?"
And there was no one in Singapore
who wasn't impressed with Kim's famous running bodyguards.
Kim creating quite a spectacle.
Those bodyguards keeping pace alongside his limo
handpicked by the dictator.
The men chosen for their fitness,
martial art skills, and even their looks.
You know, if you need running bodyguards,
I understand choosing people for their fitness,
but for their looks?
Why does he care?
Was Kim Jong-un gazing out of the window one time
and he was like, "Ew, who's that guy?
Oh, from now on, hotties only."
That is a hard job, though, you have to admit.
And the good news for these guys
is that now Kim Jong-un is a celebrity,
which means they're all gonna become more famous, too.
In fact, I think it's only a matter of time
until they all get their own sponsorship deals.
CHIENG: People ask me, "Why do you run?
Why do you train so hard?"
People ask, "Why you?"
I say, "Because he only picks the fittest
and best-looking."
People ask me, "Why don't you just ride in a car, too?"
I tell them, "I don't know. I've asked."
Kim likes his space, I guess.
(cheering and applause)
I need to get a pair of those.
But it turns out Kim's biggest admirer
wasn't in those crowds outside.
No, fanboy number one
was right there at the summit.
Earlier, before their historic sit-down in Singapore,
the two leaders sizing each other up with a handshake.
Yeah, you heard that right.
President Trump said
meeting Kim Jong-un was his great honor.
I mean, then again, when you've appeared
in a McDonald's commercial talking to Grimace,
everything seems like an honor.
I get it. I get it.
But this alone... this alone
is what North Korea has been pining for for decades, right?
Equal standing with the American president,
shaking hands, their flags side by side.
Some may have seen that and thought,
"Oh, Trump's being nice for now, but when he gets Kim alone
in that negotiation room, he's going to denuke his nuts off!"
But it turns out, only one man lost his nuts in that room.
MAN: Trump and Kim signed a joint document
committing to work towards
"complete denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula."
The agreement is short on specifics,
like whether the denuclearization
will be verifiable and irreversible.
There's nothing new in this agreement.
These are vague assertions from North Korea.
Piece of paper that got signed yesterday is, frankly, weak.
I mean, this is... this is not a-a strong piece of paper.
So... so, hold up.
Donald Trump flew across the world to Singapore,
and all he got was Kim Jong-un saying,
"I'll think about giving up my nukes."
That's all he got.
They could have done that over text.
Because you realize Kim didn't commit to anything.
He basically Facebook RSVP'd a nuclear deal.
That's all he did.
And while Kim gave up nothing major,
he got the American president to give up a lot more.
WOMAN: President Trump making a massive concession--
agreeing to stop joint military exercises
between the United States and South Korea,
exercises that greatly annoyed the North Korean leader.
South Korea caught off-guard by the president's announcement,
responding that they need to figure out the accurate meaning
and intention behind the statement.
Uh, good luck with that, South Korea. Yeah, good luck.
We've been trying to figure out
Trump's accurate meaning and intention
since the day he stepped off that escalator, yeah.
"Like, 'Mexicans are rapists.'
Does that mean they're rapists?"
But this is incredible.
Kim Jong-un went up against the world's greatest negotiator,
the man who literally hired someone to write
The Art of the Deal
and got him to give up something for nothing.
It's almost like Kim Jong-un did a Jedi mind trick on Trump.
You know, Trump was like,
(robotically): "Yes, I will stop military exercises,
and I will also pick you up from the airport. It'll be fun."
(laughter)
But Kim Jong-un-- he owned the summit so hard.
By the end, he'd even turned the leader of the free world
into his personal hype man.
Kim Jong-un, as you know, has
killed family members, has starved his own people.
Why are you so comfortable calling him "very talented"?
Well, he is very talented.
Anybody that takes over a situation like he did
at 26 years of age and is able
to run it and run it tough...
Kim is a brutal dictator.
He runs a police state,
uh, forced starvation, labor camps.
He's assassinated members of his own family.
How do you trust a killer like that?
His country does love him.
His people-- you see the fervor.
They have a great fervor. I think
they're gonna end up with a very strong country,
and a country which has people that...
They're-they're so hard-working, so industrious.
So... so you saw people enslaved in labor camps
and you thought, "Man, these people love their jobs."
Really, Donald?
This is what happens when you're friends with Kanye West.
-I mean... -(groaning, laughter)
And now, and now, don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong.
I'm not saying President Trump shouldn't have negotiated
with Kim Jong-un at all, but there's a big gap
between being civil with the person
and endorsing the Freddy Krueger of human rights.
The only part of that summit that didn't seem
to go Kim's way is when Donald Trump slipped up
and appeared to make a fat joke about his new friend.
-(camera shutters clicking) -WOMAN: Beautiful.
-(indistinct chatter) -(camera shutter clicking)
(laughter, applause and cheering)
Yeah. Yeah.
The look.
You know, the look on Kim Jong-un's face
is like a scene out of The Office.
Like, he's just...
You can see he's thinking, "Make him look thin?
"You mean I'm not thin?
"Why didn't anyone tell me? Was it the death camps?
Why didn't you tell me?"
And I guess from Trump's perspective,
this is what he got out of the whole summit.
Yeah, when he gets back to The White House,
his people are gonna be like,
"Mr. President, you sold America down the river!"
And he'll be like, "Yeah, but did you see that fat joke?
Worth it!"