Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome to Turmoil.
Now this game is about what you would think!
It's about getting oil out of the ground.
It's a resource management game and it just came out
recently from early access. So...
I'm gonna start a new campaign because I have no idea how to play.
Oh! I could be Blanche, Daisy, Ricardo or Joshua.
Hmmm...
I'm feeling Blanche.
I like it.
[Reading onscreen] "Hello there! Does being a lawyer sound interesting?"
[Laughing] No, not at all.
"I've got a serious case of oil fever-"
and the only cure is more cowbell.
"Delighted to make your acquaintance-" I'm bored already, Daisy.
"Buenos dias! I've sailed the world-" nope.
[Imitating cowboy accent] "Howdy partner! This dude has been herding cattle long enough
to know that nights on the prairy are cold and lonely."
[Normal] I don't think I need to know about that, Joshua
but I appreciate the flirtations.
I'll start with Joshua here. Why not?
"Hi there, future oil baron! Welcome to my soon-to-be-..."
[Incoherent babbling]
"...basics of oil drilling." Ok, let's dig.
How do I- oh! "Click the wagon on the right to start."
You got it!
"Hop on and I'll take you to the..."
[suggestively] Thank you Jill. Thank you very muuuch.
Where are we going? Oh.
Oh okay.
[Mayor] "Welcome to your first oil mining operation!
Just follow my instructions and the oil will be flowing in no time!"
"Before you can start drilling for oil, you have to know where to drill.
Hire a dowser to take care of this."
[Laughing] Oh, a guy with a stick.
A guy with a stick is gonna wander around and hope for oil someday.
How in the hell do you explain that one?
"Dum dee dum..."
Yeah, dum dee dum is right.
[Dowser whistles]
"He found oil! It's time to start drilling.
Select the oil rig."
HuhPPPLLL
Well...
"Drag downwards from this point
and release the other point to connect to the oil."
[Goofy voice] But how do I know where it is?
HuhPPPLLL
[Normal] Maybe?
Maybe, baby?
Oh we're gonna find it!
Oh, that's actually pretty cool, the way it
geometrically fractures the ground.
OH!
OH BABY!
The guy with the stick knew what he was doing!
Good ol' Joshua ain't gonna be lonely on the prairie no more!
Who the fuck are you?
"You struck oil! But where should you take it?
To Left Inc. of course! Select the horse wagon icon."
Okay.
"Place a wagon here and it will automatically collect oil and unload it at my company."
Well what do I get out of this?
It doesn't seem like a lot is going on for me!
Alright, whatever then. You know what?
I ain't gonna complain about too much.
So long as I'm makin' money with oil,
[Deeper, evil voice] And then I can sell it and destroy the environment as much as I'd like.
[Darkiplier laughter]
[Normal] This is back in the old western days when nobody cared.
[Mayor] "This introduction ends when you've brought the cash
amount back up to $1300!"
Okay!
Ah, I get the basics of it. I ain't gonna wait for that.
I got- I got tiiime on my mind.
It's okay.
[Mayor] "Good job! Now it's time for the real work. Come to the town hall
to meet your rivals and get yourself a parcel of land for your next venture."
[Goofy southern voice] My rivals?!
You mean people are gonna try to take my claim!?
[Normal] Oh that was gold. That wasn't oil. What am I talking about?
Hello.
"I was expecting you." Yes!
Maybe because you just told me to stop by again.
"Ready for a parcel of land? Let's take a look at the map."
Okay!
Oh no.
"Howdy partner! This dude has been"-
[Laughing] I think- I think I know who that is.
[Gasps]
OH! Oh I'm not you!
Oh! You really WERE flirting with me!
Ohhh okay.
Oh no wait, that IS me.
Wait a minute, I'm very confused about this.
Am I me or are you me?
I'm not me. Nobody else is me but me.
I'm the only me that ever me'd the me!
So, you all shut up.
"Good day! To celebrate the opening of my brand new bank,
I've opened up an account for each of you.
You can also visit me to view a financial report of your last venture."
McMoneys. Great.
Okay.
Loan! Loan me all- oh my God.
How bout, how bout no?
Jeezums.
Hey, you know what? Fine. Lets do this.
I can take it. I can handle crippling debt.
[Laughing] That's what all Americans do.
We get in debt, up to our knees, and then hope for the best. Okay so...
"Let's get that oil! We're taking $2,000 with us
to cover the costs. Are you ready to go?"
I sure am!
Bye everybody!
Let's get my guy with a stick out there and ready to rock.
Silo to store the oil-
[Laughing] Did he just sniff the ground?
I mean, I guess that would help more than anything.
He seems to have an idea in that one spot but, ohh baby.
Give me the oil buddy. Come on buddy. Give me the oil!
Please? Any minute now?
I'm crushing your fat head with this.
Okay, I'm assuming that means you found- ohhh?
No? Yes?
What did- what did I done, buddy? Do something about it! [Dowser whistles]
Ok, there we go. Finally. Jeezums.
Well how am I supposed to know?
Alright. Whatever. I hope for the best.
Maybe, maybe not. But maybe it will, maybe it won't.
Where did I come from where did I go? Where did all my oil go? Holy shit, Bo. I don't know.
Ah, there we go. That's the stuff.
Ok, so silo...
HuhPPPLLL
Okay, I need wagons.
Wagons. Go get it. Yeahhh.
Oh wait, what's the point of his- wait a minute!
He could have just taken it to the incorporation. Why did I need a silo?
That seems, like, totally unnec- Damn it!
Alright, you find another one over there, cause I ain't gonna be dealing with all this stuff.
Well what is that gonna do?!
That's not gonna do me any good because I'm not gonna be able to do, what I need to do
which is sell my goddamn oil!
What is this number? AHH! They didn't tutorialize me enough!
Oh, I should have paid attention in school!
That's just a- that's just another thought but, you know I was just wondering.
Ahh there we go. Okay, they're selling for some reason. I don't know why.
Hey thanks, buddy.
Alright, hopefully you're right. I don't know. But hopefully.
Uh huh,
Uh huh, uh huh,
Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh,
Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh,
Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh!
Alright, so we need a lot more wagons once this thing st-
Ohh! Just barely in there. Almost not quite.
Okay, I've spent all of my money.
If I spend all my money on employees and workers and equipment,
then there's no way my business can fail!
There's no such thing as 'too big to fail' in Markiplier World.
Ah, I think I need another one.
BOINK.
I think I need two more.
Yeah, just load down with everything.
Don't worry, I got the world's greatest high interest loan from the bank.
Nothing could possibly go wrong to me!
I put all my money in Beanie Babies and Teletubbies.
There's no way it'll fail! Also oil. Lil' bit of oil.
What if I could just dig around? What if I just send these tubes a-floodin'?
I think, I think because the price...
I think, I'd- Okay, here's what I think the strategy is.
With the silo, you store it until the price gets bigger,
and then you have everyone flood the market with your oil...
so that you can get the most money out of it.
But until then you just need to store it,
which is mega primo good.
Here we go. Go for it! Go!
Everybody, go! Go! GO!
The price is going down, hurry the hell up!
What are you doing? Why are you going to the right?
Store's over there, in Left Incorporated.
We don't have a Right Incorporated yet. Stop being such dicks!
Alright whatever, I got a lot of money, that's good enough.
Whoa! Whoa, what's happening?
Oh god, it's the apocalypse!
Oh no! End-of-the-world shit's going down!
What the hell happened?
Oh God! [Laughing]
Oh, my crippling bank debt has ruined me!
Eugh, what have I done!?
Oh, I've made so many poor choices!
Oh, I shoulda put'n- shouldn't have put all my investments in Enron!
Aw, fuck dude!
Okay, anyway. Wow, I have sucked up a storm.
[Laughs] Ahh, seems like everybody lost money.
[Muttering] Not- not everyb-not everybody lost money.
Alright, moving on though.
[Imitating cowboy] "Howdy! My name is Fred Metal.
Are you looking to make your oil mining operation
...more efficient?
Come to my factory to upgrade your gear!"
[Normal] Alright. I don't know if I can...
[Incoherent mumbling]
I don't know if I can afford any of that.
We're not- not good.
[Mayor] "Oh yes, I was expecting-"
Oh, jeez, land auction. Okay.
Already mined, open for bids. I don't know.
"Pick a parcel of land! Numbers on mine parcel
indicates how much oil they had."
Well I still got...
I still got oil in that one.
Maybe I can... maybe I can do that?
"Here's where the oil is"? Okay. Alright then.
Alright. Thank you!
I got land now. I'll just go back outside.
Goodbye, everybody!
I'm gonna go dig.
We got this on lock this time.
OoOOhhh!
Ahh I see.
"Levels will run from January 1 to June 30."
Oh that's handy.
Alright.
[Onno] "Looking for another place to sell your oil?
Come to me. At my place, my prices are always right."
I get ya.
I'm gonna have two dowsers looking for things first
cause I wanna have- start this operation-
Chica, whatcha doing over here?
Go lay down, bubba.
Go lay down. I gotta finish this out.
I gotta make my money with my oil!
My oil riches!
Go lay down.
Go lay down. You know where to be.
You know you're not in the right place.
I said go lay down!
Huh?!
I gotta be- I gotta be firm.
Oh, okay. Right by Left Incorporated.
Well that's gonna make things awfully easy for me.
[Whispering] HaaaaBUSKY
HaaaBUSKY
HaaaBUSKY.
Okay. I did it! I did a thing!
Okay, I'm not gonna have any silo this time because-
Well, no, I probably should have a silo-
Neh, I'm not gonna have a silo this time.
Silos are stupid.
Okay.
So now that I got my supply train
over-enthusiastic about things,
I should be able to do what I need to do
to make things done.
So, where's that guy gonna go?
Oh that guy's just gonna-
Why's that guy just looping back and forth?
Ohh I need to actually send him over there.
Ah, I need to make some money
so I might as well dump it.
Oh, God, the price of oil!
It's horrible!
Eh, it's not that bad.
This is why I need a silo.
Yeah, okay I got it.
I understand now!
I understand!
I- I understand.
Okay, now stop that.
Put the silo right,
PYUHHH!
I should've put that silo in the middle, shouldn't I have?
That would've been a much more strategic
solution to what I was doing
but then again I'm not very bright
when it comes to business matters.
This is gonna need to go deeper won't it?
HuhPPFFF
[Mimics Laughter]
HuhPPFFF
[Mimics More Laughter]
Wait. Is that gonna...
I don't know if that's...
Oh shit.
What is that doing? It's flowing in the wrong direction.
Ahhh I- I goofed.
[Laughing] I think I dun goofed very hard.
Oh, wow, these prices are dismal.
Oh these prices are baddd.
Oh man, it's just awful!
But I gotta make money somehow!
Oh, it's climbing back up. I can wait.
We got til' June. We can wait it out, baby!
Maybe not, but we can wait something out.
I don't know if it's gonna be good enough.
Oh God, it's getting full in there.
Alright, start shippin' over.
Ship it out!
Right Co go!
Yeah, we're doing pretty good and the price
has been going up for a while.
It might just start to go down on the right side there.
And it's going up on the left.
But...
I think my main problem is
I've got an exorbitant amount of oil sitting in that silo over there
for no particular reason.
It's just literally just sitting in there.
Ooh, I gotta switch it up.
Let's go left side. Let's go left. Let's go left.
Left, left, left, left!
Go, go, go, go!
It's much better and closer to the silo
because I illogically placed that!
Much like every other decision that I've ever made in my life...
I don't know what I'm doing.
[Uncomfortable Laughter]
Every oil tycoon knows,
'You fake it, until you make it, and then you break it.'
And by "it" I mean the Earth. In half.
To get that sweet, delicious,
OILLL!
So far so goo!
And by "goo" I mean oil.
Or anything else that rhymes with goo.
But I'm getting a lot of muns!
At least I hope so.
I mean, things are going particularly well this time.
I'm well over my profit margin that I had before.
Not parfit marbin--prffjrghr... PRFgrbrb.
[Bad British Accent] I'm making monay and that's all that matters. Mmmm.
[Normal] I mean, there's almost no point
in even keeping it in the silo
because the price goes up and down
and all over the place anyway
so I might as well just dump it somewhere.
I mean there's gotta be, like, a strategy
like a document that you can see
like one vs the other as far as how strategic
it is for you to go, like, build it up
all on the left side and make it quicker to go there
so that no matter what the price is,
because it's gonna take travel time to go over to the right.
And this is way overthinking this
but I'm just trying to min/max this because
I'm a 'pro gamer'.
And super sick at my skills and shit.
And I'm like,
doing some Naruto, ninjitsu stuff.
BUT...
I'm also making money from oi-illl.
And this one's almost-
this one's completely out of oil.
Dig! Dig randomly!
Dig in random directions!
Hopefully it will work for you!
If not, then [muttering] I don't know.
How are you still getting oil?
Where are you getting oil from?
Are you getting oil from the dirt?
Is that that 'oil sands' thing that you just
[Distorted Voice] squeezzzeeee it out of it.
Squeeze the soul out of it.
[Normal] Well that's a bust.
Dig! Dig in a random ass direction!
Ahhh. Scoop it around!
I don't know if that's gonna help me at all.
Hmmm.
'Branch limit reached'?
Bullsh- oh, I was so close.
Oh, no
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Who's got it? Who's got oil baby? Who's got oil?
Ah! No! Stop! Earthquake!
Oh God! End of the world!
Beelzebub!
I got it! I got oil.
I got oil, baby.
But I probably spent way too much money making that.
But I did it, so there we go.
[Fake Laughter]
Yay!
[Goofy Voice] I am teh most profitable.
You guys all suck dong.
I am the best.
[Normal] Alright, what else you got?
Goodbye.
I'm gonna do this one more time.
Widthphh
Ahhhhhhhhhh
Width.
I like more girth...
for my oil.
Ooh, what do you got?
Depthphh [Blows rasberry]
Hmm. Scanner? I don't know about that.
I can't afford it.
I'm actually gonna build 'anudder' one right der and then
HaaaaBINSKY
I said,
'HaaaaBINSKY'
Oh god, I don't have enough money do I?
Shittttt
Sell over to the right!
Sell to the right!
Oh god. I need more. Give me more.
Give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire.
OILLLL!
[Dowser Whistles] Ooh. Girthy!
What does that mean?
Is there another one by it?
Is that what you're trying to tell me, boo?
BOINK
I'm hoping. You better be right about this.
If you're not right, I'm gonna be very upset.
More wa-gons!
Ah shit, they're equilibrious
Oh no.
It's starting to be better for the left side. Nope.
Ahhh! Where's my wa-gons?!
Oh there it is. Shit.
Stop.
Stop!
Stop it!
Stop it I say!
Stop!
Wahhhh!
Damn it.
Eh.
Alright we're gonna-
[Lisping] We're gonna girth-isize this.
We're gonna girth-inate it.
[Normal] Ah, shit.
We just ran dry?
[High pitched] Well what do I do about that?!
What do I do if it runs dry?
That doesn't help me!
[Normal] This is a load of crap!
I just 'girth-inated' those lines!
I did- are you telling me I didn't need to 'girth-inate' em'?
Son of a bitch!
Well, fuck that!
[Country music playing]
Oh. Oh shit! Ahhh!
Oh, how was I supposed to know?
This dowser didn't know anything
because he couldn't dig deep enough!
What a 'douche-hooole...'
Okay! So that's probably
all that I'm gonna play for this game.
I'm obviously not gonna put it into a series,
but it is a lot of fun.
I like these resource management games.
You can find this one on Steam.
So thank you again.
And as always,
I will see you...
in the next video.
Buh-bye!
[Crazy la Paint Outro playing] You're gonna like that.
You seem happy for little fits and bursts at a time.
The rest of you is just kinda in a
malaise about life.
[Bottom video] Well that-
I- Yeahhh!
Yeahhh!