the year is 1960. we're in the cold war
era of spying on the soviets
and the cia is seeking the perfect agent
hi everyone i'm cia scientist anna and
i'm here today to pitch
pets as field operatives what the hell
is this apparently she's a genius or
something
i don't know i don't see it so we all
know the soviet union's like really
annoying ring we gotta find our perfect
spot
my work is heavily based on bf skinner's
opera in psychology and behavior
modification
spark notes skinner was able to train
rats to press
levers and pigeons to pet keys in
exchange for food
so based on that i'm pretty confident we
can turn cats
into spies think about it cats are agile
they're curious they come into the room
wow i don't even know
plus it's really sad but people ignore
strays a lot i personally don't
understand why you know every time i see
a stray cat i just want to take it home
and i want to save it
[Music]
but i digress this is called project
acoustic
kitty if i were a soviet spy this would
have 100 worked on me
our plan to bring communism to america
is going well
however we cannot let this lead make us
complacent
we must move forward with diligence in
comradanna
what is that yes
this is my special kitty aren't you
kitty i found her an alleyway so man
she's so lonely so i bring her here to
secret headquarter
do not worry about my kitty but this is
american kitty no
what you think kitty is spy
what are you stupid boris no how do you
spy kitty
did american government pay 20 million
to put you through our
half surgery huh implant tiny microphone
in your ear canal
put antenna wire along your spine and
implant
tiny bathroom transmitter power supply
and chest
not to mention training time oh yes
this is an american spy kitty bonus oh
no oh what do you hear uh
well i didn't anticipate them petting
buttercup uh so
she she's purring right now and i can't
hear anything
she's got a loud purr unfortunately the
gray and white cat who was chosen to be
the first feline recording device
never actually made it to being a spy on
its first test run
after it was released from the unmarked
cia van it was
yeah a taxi driver after this
devastating loss the project was
completely abandoned in 1967
but there's some fun heavily redacted
documents from the nsa archive at george
washington
university and though buttercup's real
name is lost to history
i salute her service and i hope that we
never try to make cats into anything
other than household demons that we
worship
ever again i'm anna akana and thank you
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